Elian stood alone in the Morning Room, staring at the empty doorway where the Prince and his harem of two had disappeared.
He let out a breath he felt like he'd been holding since he woke up in this universe.
"Okay," Elian whispered, leaning against the table. "Status check."
The blue screen popped up instantly.
[Heart Meter: 1 / 1000][Life Points (LP): 15][Time Until Death: 72 Hours, 24 Minutes.]
"Fifteen LP?" Elian frowned. "Where did I get fifteen points?"
A log scrolled down.
Quest Complete (Hidden): Relieve the Target's Pain. (+10 LP)
Intimacy Milestone: First Consensual Touch (Massage). (+5 LP)
"Consensual is a strong word," Elian muttered. "He mostly just didn't break my wrist."
He tapped the [SHOP] icon. The menu expanded, displaying a grid of items that looked like they belonged in a high-end adult novelty store mixed with a pharmacy.
Scent Blocker (Basic): 10 LP
Aphrodisiac Incense (Weak): 50 LP
Skill: Fragrance Detection (Level 1): 100 LP
Item: Fertility Blocker (99% Effective - 30 Days): 500 LP
Elian stared at the price of the Fertility Blocker. Five hundred points. He had fifteen.
"I am going to get pregnant and die," Elian realized with dawning horror. "I am going to be a pregnant corpse if I don't start grinding."
He needed points. And he needed them fast.
He scanned the cheaper items, looking for anything that could give him an edge right now. His eyes landed on a skill book glowing with a soft brown light.
Skill: Barista Mastery (Basic). Cost: 15 LP.
Description: Allows the user to brew coffee that doesn't taste like mud. Adds a +5% Mood Buff to the drinker.
It cost exactly everything he had.
Elian looked at the pot of cold, bitter coffee on the tray. Cassian had specifically asked for coffee in his study. If Elian walked in there with this sludge, he'd probably get kicked out, losing his chance to be near the battery pack.
"Investment strategy," Elian said, tapping [BUY].
A golden light flashed, and suddenly, Elian's brain was flooded with knowledge about bean grinding, water temperature, and pour-over techniques. He looked at the silver pot with new eyes. It was garbage.
"Right," Elian said, rolling up his sleeves. "Time to make the bean juice."
Twenty minutes later, Elian stood outside the heavy oak doors of the Royal Study. He was holding a fresh tray with a steaming porcelain pot that smelled absolutely divine—dark chocolate notes, a hint of hazelnut, and zero bitterness.
Two guards crossed their spears. "The Prince is in a meeting with Princess Rowena. No entry."
Elian didn't flinch. He channeled every ounce of 'Entitled Valet' energy he could muster. "His Highness requested this specifically. Do you want to be the one to tell the 'Tyrant of the North' that he has to wait for his caffeine?"
The guards exchanged a look. They stepped aside.
Elian smirked. 'Social engineering: Check.'
He pushed the door open and stepped inside.
The study was dim, lit by tall candles and a roaring fireplace. It was intimate. Too intimate.
Cassian was seated behind a massive desk covered in maps. Rowena was standing beside him—not across from him, beside him. She was leaning over the desk, one hand resting on the back of Cassian's chair, the other pointing at a map. Her crimson dress was cut low enough that if Cassian turned his head three inches to the left, he'd get a face full of royal cleavage.
'Oh, I see you, Player Two,' Elian thought, narrowing his eyes. 'The old "Look at this Map" strategy. Classic.'
"The trade route through the canyon is viable," Rowena was saying, her voice low and husky. "If we merge our caravans, Cassian, we could dominate the southern market."
She shifted her weight, her hip bumping against Cassian's shoulder.
[System Alert: Player 2 is attempting 'Seductive Proximity'. Success Rate: 40%.]
Elian felt a surge of territorial indignation. That wasn't just his Prince; that was his life support. Every second she monopolized him was a second Elian wasn't charging.
"Coffee, Your Highness!" Elian announced loudly, breezing into the room like he owned the place.
Rowena jumped, pulling back slightly. She glared at him. "You again. Can't you see we are busy?"
"Thirst waits for no man, Princess," Elian said cheerfully. He set the tray down on the only free corner of the desk, right between Cassian and the map Rowena was pointing at.
Cassian looked up. He looked exhausted, but he sniffed the air. The rich aroma of the coffee seemed to cut through the tension in the room.
"Pour," Cassian commanded.
Elian poured. The liquid was dark silk. He placed the cup in Cassian's hand, making sure his fingers lingered on the Prince's glove for a micro-second.
Ding.[Contact: +2 Seconds.]
'Pathetic,' Elian thought. 'I need more.'
Cassian took a sip. His eyebrows shot up. The perpetual frown line between his eyes smoothed out.
[System Notification: Target Mood Increased (+5%). Elian +1 Heart.]
"This is... acceptable," Cassian muttered, taking another large gulp. For a man like him, 'acceptable' was glowing praise.
"I'm glad," Elian beamed.
"You may go," Rowena dismissed him, waving a hand. "We have private matters to discuss."
Elian didn't move. He checked his timer. [72 Hours, 20 Minutes].
He looked at the room. If he left now, Rowena would go right back to hip-checking the Prince. Elian needed to stay. But how?
He took a step back, moving into the corner of the room, about four meters away from the desk, pretending to organize a bookshelf.
Suddenly, his timer stopped ticking.
[Status: Within Pheromone Range (5 Meters). Degradation Paused.]
Elian froze. 'Wait. What?'
He took a step toward the door (6 meters). [Time Until Death: 72 Hours, 19 Minutes, 59 Seconds.]
He stepped back toward the desk (4 meters). [Time Until Death: Paused.]
'The WiFi Zone!' Elian mentally screamed in triumph. 'I don't have to touch him to pause the timer! I just have to hover! I can be a creep!'
"Valet," Rowena snapped. "Why are you still here?"
Elian turned, holding a random book he'd pulled off the shelf. "Waiting to refill the cup, Your Highness. The Prince drinks fast."
Cassian, who had indeed downed half the cup, didn't object. "Let him stay. The coffee is good."
Rowena looked like she wanted to scream, but she forced a tight smile. "Very well."
She turned back to Cassian, leaning in again. "As I was saying, Cassian... our union would stabilize the region."
She reached out, her hand covering Cassian's on the map.
[System Alert: Player 2 attempting 'Hand Hold'. Success Rate: 60%.]
'Not on my watch,' Elian thought.
"Oh no!" Elian gasped, dropping the book he was holding. It hit the floor with a loud THUD.
Rowena flinched. Cassian pulled his hand back to look at the noise.
"Clumsy hands, Your Highness!" Elian apologized, dropping to his knees to pick up the book. "Please, ignore me."
Rowena grit her teeth. "Cassian, about the—"
"Actually," Elian said from the floor, "Your Highness, is that ink on your cuff?"
It wasn't.
Cassian looked at his sleeve. "Where?"
Elian scrambled up and rushed over. "Right here. Let me get it."
He didn't use a cloth. He used his thumb, rubbing firmly against the pristine navy fabric of Cassian's wrist. He pressed hard, feeling the bone and muscle underneath.
[Contact: +10 Seconds.]
"It's gone," Elian declared, beaming.
Rowena slammed her hand on the desk. "Valet! You are interrupting!"
"I am serving!" Elian retorted, standing his ground.
Cassian looked between the two of them. The furious, beautiful Princess and the frantic, messy valet who made excellent coffee.
A tiny, barely visible smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.
"Rowena," Cassian said, his voice calm. "The valet stays. He is... amusing."
He looked at Elian. "Refill."
Elian grabbed the pot. He poured the coffee. And as he did, he shot Rowena a look of pure, unadulterated victory.
[Current Leaderboard]1. Ambrose: 322. Rowena: 263. Elian: 2
Two hearts. He was coming for them.