At first, neither of them knew what to say.
There was too much to unpack, and no obvious place to start.
Nephis herself didn't know how to begin. None of the words that came to mind felt right, not to calm him, not to assuage the crushing guilt she felt. Each phrase died before reaching her lips.
And so, the silence stretched, heavy and uncomfortable. Both of them were failing to find the words to start with.
A full minute after the silence bubble settled over them, Nephis opened her mouth, but the words she had found slipped away the moment she did.
He opened his mouth, too, yet the same thing seemed to happen to him.
Sunny looked at her, she looked at him, and her lips twitched, the tension giving birth to a sort of deranged amusement. So did he a moment later. That simple gesture was followed by a bigger twitch that he also mirrored, and before they knew it, both of them were laughing.
They laughed for a long time. Whenever it looked like they would stop, their eyes would meet, and the laughter would resume.
By the time they stopped, their chests were heaving from exertion, and some of the heaviness had begun to ease.
The silence that ensued wasn't comfortable; if anything, it was even tenser, but there was something in it that put her at ease. This wasn't a stranger she was facing, but someone whom she knew as well as she knew herself, someone whom once upon a time she trusted implicitly, someone for whom she would have gladly risked her life. Someone for whom she would still do so.
She was sure that the sentiment wasn't mutual. She had broken their bond with her own two hands, and whatever trust he had held for her was now gone. If she said the sky was blue, he would probably check just to be sure.
It did not deter her. She had already promised herself, didn't she? One day, she would have the same trust he had with Eirene. This, right here and right now, was the place to start working toward it.
"I'm sorry."
The words carried the weight of two years of guilt, of long nights turning in bed unable to sleep, of imagining his death countless times, each one crowned by the image of Sunny cursing her with his last breath. Of so many other things.
Above everything else, there was the sincerity she hoped to portray.
He could believe nothing she said during this conversation, and she wouldn't begrudge it, but if there was something she didn't want there to be any doubt about, it was just how much she regretted what she had done.
Sunny leaned back in his chair, staring at her with a complicated mix of emotions in his eyes that she couldn't disentangle before he answered.
"It's okay. I don't forgive you."
Nephis nodded silently; it was exactly the kind of answer she expected. If all it took to be forgiven were those simple words, she wouldn't have believed it.
He started tapping softly on the table between them, the rhythmic sound seeming to calm him down.
"You are a very vexing woman, you know that, right?"
"You might have said it a few times," she replied dryly. "Do you mind sharing what the cause is this time?"
Sunny exhaled slowly.
"There, right there. I had this image of you in my head. I would finally return, and you would just shrug, act like you did nothing wrong, or even start ordering me around. Instead..." He tapped so hard the table cracked. "Instead, you are repentant. The first thing you say to me is an apology. You voice things in a way that won't force me to answer. And that face of yours..." His voice dropped lower. "...that Spell-damned honest face of yours. Like, lying doesn't even come to mind. It vexes me to no end."
Nephis did not flinch.
"Would you rather I act haughty? Be the cruel Master you envisioned me as? Say whatever lie is required of me to be forgiven?"
He tapped again, and the table broke in half.
"No, to all of them. And it annoys me even more."
Sunny stared at the broken remains of the table and took a deep breath, reining himself back. With a wave of his hand, shadows stirred, cleaning away the mess and leaving in its place a pitch-black table.
"Okay, let's get this over with."
Sparks coalesced over the table, leaving on the surface a geode-like rock, its interior lined with countless violet crystals.
"You read my runes, right? This is [Lie Detector], and it does exactly what the name says, lighting up when a lie is said. If..." He paused briefly, the words stuck in his mouth for a moment. He steeled himself right after. "If it lights up a single time, you die."
His words hung there for a moment, the quiet menace behind them so absolute she would have believed him even if she wasn't aware of his flaw.
During that moment, Nephis was painfully aware of the small wooden disk resting in her pocket. A scrambler for lie detectors, Cassie had said.
It would be so very easy to use it. To say everything Sunny wanted to hear, whether the truth or a lie. To fool him one more time.
It was the smart decision; he wasn't one to make empty threats, after all. If Nephis lied, she would die before she had the time to utter a single word.
It was the wise decision. He was an invaluable ally, one that would propel her clan back to the lofty position it had once held if she were to sway him under her banner.
It was the safe decision. She had many things left to do, and she couldn't afford to die before seeing them to the very end.
From all points of view, it was the most logical decision.
Nephis brought out the small wooden disk and invoked her flames, not stopping until only ashes remained. The pain did not even register.
Sunny quirked an eyebrow. "What was that?"
She answered calmly. "A useless trinket I will have some harsh words with Cassie about."
His eyes narrowed, but the geode remained inert.
"There is more to it, but fine, I'll let it go for now."
She nodded in appreciation. "Thank you."
His lips twitched faintly.
"Let's start from the beginning, shall we?"
For a moment, the walls turned into red coral, and the ground beneath her feet shook. "Let's."
The look in his eyes told her that the same image had gone through his mind, too. "What was the point of your theater? Why fight me when you already had the key to my defeat? Spell, why throw the fight to begin with?"
"You noticed?"
He snorted, looking almost offended. "I'm a humble man."
He wasn't.
"I didn't notice at the moment, but after reviewing it, I came to the conclusion that if you were fighting seriously, you would have won. So what's the point?"
The smell of salt, of blood and tears, and so many more things assaulted her nostrils.
"You wouldn't have left if I hadn't fought you." She paused briefly. "So I went ahead and fought you with the intention of losing, to be the villain you could hate and leave behind without regrets."
When the geode remained dark, his face was painted with confusion, which morphed into something darker. "You have a curious way of losing."
"I was going to." Nephis did not comment on how tightly he was clenching his jaw. Hers was just as tightly clenched.
"What happened, then?" The table rippled, the shadows it was made of reacting to his emotions. "Got second thoughts?"
Nephis did not allow her gaze to drift away from his.
"I was weak," she stated calmly, as if it were an undeniable fact. "I was in pain. So much pain, I couldn't even think straight. Then came the fear. What if I died out there? What if I did not find a way back? What if I could never enact my revenge? What if I never had the chance to see my mother again? And you are strong. Your will to survive is just as ferocious as mine, and you are twice as spiteful." She did not flinch when the table bubbled angrily. "If someone could do it, that was you." She smiled without humor. "I was right."
"So you enslaved me." He stated plainly, but Nephis did not miss the way his voice cracked.
She did not look away from the frothing pools of darkness he had for eyes.
"I did not know that would be the effect of saying your True Name, but yes."
He chuckled, low and dangerous, a chuckle that devolved into a laugh. It was hoarse, painful, full of sorrow and hatred.
"The one time your will falters, and I get to pay the price."
She nodded mournfully. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the pain my weakness caused you. For the grief you went through because I wasn't strong enough when it mattered the most."
Despite how hard Sunny was staring at it, the geode did not light up.
He exhaled in annoyance. "You spend too much time surrounded by people who won't say 'No' to you."
Nephis tilted her head, not expecting that answer. "Do you mind explaining why you think so?"
Sunny shook his head, as if wondering how she could miss something so obvious. "You forgot you are still human."
"...what?"
He smiled, mocking yet not unkind. "It might be different for the high and mighty 'Changing Star,' but us mere mortals fail. We shy away from pain, make decisions on the spur of the moment, and regret later on." He shook his head again. "You are so used to everyone around you being a sycophant or too nice to point out when you are wrong that you forgot you are still human."
Nephis found herself unable to offer a rebuttal, for she had noticed the same thing herself.
Her Firekeepers almost worshipped her; they would never go against anything she said. Her cohort might push, but they would quickly back down if she insisted. It was the same with Rain.
Cassie was the worst offender in her mind. The girl might not always be entirely forthcoming, and she was far too willing to go behind Nephis's back when she believed it necessary, but Nephis knew that if she asked, Cassie would drop everything without hesitation to follow whatever request she made.
They were followers, as demeaning as it sounded. People who would always stand behind her. People who would always rely on her to lead them. People whom she would always have to protect.
With every passing day, Nephis found herself wishing more and more that she did not have to do it alone. That, just once, someone would stand beside her instead of behind her. Someone who would challenge her. Someone who would refuse her. Someone who would remind her she was human.
Sunny had always been that person, and she had failed to appreciate it.
"I miss it," she admitted in a wistful tone.
He did not need to ask to know what she meant. "So do I." He smiled softly. "The look in your eyes whenever I called you crazy was priceless."
She returned the smile. "And the tone you used when doing so was the funniest thing I've ever heard."
"It was so much simpler back then."
"It was."
Nephis looked aside for a moment to wipe away the sweat that was trying to fall down her face. So did Sunny.
"I'm sorry," she repeated when they turned back to look at each other. "It should have been me who stayed behind, not you."
"Oh, don't be." Sunny smiled bitterly. "I'm sure that the world needs its star far more than it will ever need some pitiful slave like me."
"That's not true," she replied immediately, angry on his behalf.
He laughed. There was no joy in it. "Does it? Everyone sure seems happy with you around. Effie, Kai, and the Forgotten Shore survivors. I did not have much of a chance to socialize yet. But even I can tell. You cannot take a stroll around without hearing someone speaking about some idiot named Black Star and the magnificent Changing Star! How perfect she is, how beautiful, heroic, selfless, kind, and so many other things. I even heard some of them calling you the 'Hope of humanity.'" The scorn in his voice couldn't have been clearer. Except that it could, for right after, his voice became sharp enough to cut steel. "Why... even my own sister won't stop speaking about you."
Nephis met the glare without flinching. "I won't apologise for doing my best for Rain."
"Effie and Kai. My sister. You even took my body to your manor." The table settled its bubbling, but the fury shining in his eyes did not. "My pod was facing yours, wasn't it?"
"It was," she replied evenly, though inwardly she was blushing at the reminder.
Sunny clapped mockingly. "Bravo! I couldn't have done it better myself. Every little thing, every action you could have taken to make sure I wouldn't have the chance -or even the willingness- to leave once I woke up, you made sure to take." He threw out his arms, as if to present himself to the world. "Lo and behold. Here is your slave! Able but unwilling to leave due to what you hold over his head."
The accusation stung.
Nephis hadn't thought of it that way, but seen from his perspective... it might as well be a Machiavellian plan. A way to keep him chained to her without resorting to more extreme measures.
Was this how she looked to him? Could he truly believe she was that monstrous? That vile?
Yes, yes, he could. She had made sure of it with her own actions.
"Effie and Kai are persons of their own, capable of making a choice," she rebutted. "When I asked, they agreed to reassemble our cohort, one in which you will always have a spot. Rain approached me on her own, as I have told you before. And I'm glad that she did. She's a sweet girl, one that I have grown to care about as my own little sister, and that's not something I will apologise for." She did not flinch even as the shadows bubbled once more. "As for your last point, they tried to kidnap you. I brought you here to keep you safe."
Sunny looked at the geode, but just as throughout the rest of the conversation, it stayed dim. Not even making an attempt at lighting up.
"You don't believe me," Nephis stated, and she could tell from the look on his face that he didn't. Lie detector or not. "I cannot assuage your fears; I cannot undo the pain you went through. What I can offer you is retribution. Hurt me, maim me, torture me, if you want. As long as that eases some of your pain, as little as it might be, I will be happy."
He looked at her for a long moment, not a single emotion passing through his face, thoughts impossible to determine.
A single shadow tendril emerged out of the table, thin and sharp, almost like a blade. It slithered toward her slowly, as if waiting for her to react, to retract her statement, to try to avoid her fate. Nephis did not move.
The tendril climbed her hand and continued slithering its way up her arm, circling like a snake until it reached her shoulder. From there, it danced its way up to her throat, where it pressed against the skin, the weight palpable but not enough to break skin yet. Nephis still did not move.
The pressure kept mounting. At any moment, the blade would draw blood. Pain would follow, the herald for worse things to come. She didn't even blink.
"You are a truly vexing woman."
The tendril retracted back into the table, where it merged back with its brethren as if it had never left.
"Why?"
Sunny snorted, amused and annoyed at the same time. "What's the point? I don't enjoy causing you pain, and whatever damage I do, you will heal anyway. Besides, it would make you feel better with yourself, and I refuse to allow that."
Despite how cold he sounded, Nephis smiled, happy that he still cared enough not to like seeing her in pain.
"Say, Neph, do you still intend to destroy the Spell and those three you spoke about in the Soul Devourer Tree?"
She nodded, answering immediately despite the sudden change of topic. "Yes."
"Are you completely set on that? To take revenge?" he pressed.
"Yes," she answered just as quickly.
Sunny snorted, a fond sort of exasperation flashing briefly through his eyes.
"Have I ever told you about my first nightmare?"
She shook her head. "You didn't."
"Well, allow me to share." Sunny waved his arm, and on the far wall, shadows rose, starting to take shape.
Nephis tilted her head. She hadn't expected him to bring up such a topic. That kind of thing was a very private matter. For many, it was the worst day of their lives, after all. That he would offer such information freely concerned her.
The shadows formed a scene on the wall: a snowy mountain and a caravan slowly climbing it. It was composed of many humans, a few of them armored and astride horses, while the majority were bound with thick chains.
It was a slave caravan.
Her heart lurched the moment she realized, already dreading what she knew was coming.
Nephis' eyes landed on a particular figure, one that was smaller and frailer than the others, barely trudging its way up.
"Yes, that's me," he said, not even needing to look to know what she was staring at.
The figure took one last step and then fell face down, whatever little strength it had, exhausted. It was laid on the ground for a second or two before it climbed back to its feet, but the way it moved was completely different.
"I got saddled with a rather pitiful vessel. Maybe even as much as me," he said, his lips twitching. "A lowly Temple Slave."
The shadow figure trembled, attempting to hug itself to warm up, but unable to do so due to the chains. "I was wearing nothing but a threadbare tunic that did nothing to shield me from the cold. My feet were naked and covered with blisters. Half-starved and so thin I might as well have been a stick." He laughed bitterly. "I remember with perfect clarity the description given by the Spell: 'Slave is a useless wretch with no skills or abilities worth a mention. A temple slave is just the same, except much rarer.' Looking back at it, the Spell sure has a sense of humour."
The figure of a young soldier approached the slave, offering something. He made to accept, until a shadowy whip struck his back, and another, older soldier approached, gesticulating angrily. "When a soldier offered me water, I got whipped just for accepting."
Nephis wished she could find a way into that nightmare to show the soldier exactly what she thought of that.
"Yeah, I wish it too," Sunny said.
Could he read her mind?
"I won't bother you with the boring parts."
Time flowed faster, showcasing the caravan's ascent. When they stopped, a grotesque figure attacked. In the battle that ensued, almost all the caravan members died, and only the young soldier and three slaves remained. Nephis watched quietly as they organized themselves, taking supplies and then resuming the ascent.
One after another, the slaves died, until only the soldier and Sunny's figure remained.
"That soldier is named Auro," he said, voice filled with venom.
"Like-"
"Yes, like the one I killed in my third nightmare." His eyes never left the soldier's figure. "I regret not making it slower and more painful."
"What happened?"
Sunny's eyes flicked to meet hers, and what she found in them chilled her to the bone.
"The story of my life." He smiled without any joy. "I was at the mercy of someone with lofty objectives that were more important than I am."
The accusation, silent as it was, landed like a knife on her chest.
"The Mountain King wasn't giving up on the chase, so Auro decided that the best way to get rid of it was to kill me. You should have seen him, all high and mighty, completely convinced of his righteousness. He even convinced himself that he was doing me a favor by killing me." The soldier convulsed violently, spitting something she suspected was blood. Sunny smiled savagely. "Sadly for him, I was faster."
The soldier died soon after, killed by the Nightmare Creature. What followed was the slow and painful ascent of the slave to the peak of the mountain, where he found a Temple. Inside it, the slave inadvertently sacrificed himself to the gods, and the Mountain King was torn to shreds by shadow tendrils.
The scene dissolved right after that, and Sunny turned back to her.
"The Spell rated my performance as 'Glorious,' and I even got a Divine-rank aspect." He shook his head. "All the joy I felt at that fact disappeared the moment I found out about my innate ability and the flaw that made it almost impossible to keep it concealed. Since that day, I feared at every moment what would happen to me if someone were to find out about my True Name. And you know what?" The shadows in the room deepened, staring at her with infinite hunger. "You validated every single one of those fears."
Nephis did not look away, meeting his gaze without fail. She made no attempt to defend herself. In her face, there was only a quiet, heavy acceptance.
"Yes," she said softly.
The admission did not make the shadows calm. If anything, they stirred more violently, crawling along the walls like restless serpents.
Sunny blinked. He had probably expected denial. Excuses. Justifications. Something he could tear apart.
Instead, she had simply agreed.
"You're not even going to argue?"
"What would be the point?"
He stared at her without understanding. "To defend yourself."
"You were afraid that someone would use your True Name against you," she said evenly. "That someone would decide your will did not matter. That your life was expendable if it served their goal." Her voice did not waver. "And then I did exactly that."
The shadows paused.
"I proved that the worst thing you feared was real."
The geode stayed dark.
He let out a quiet breath through his nose. "Spell… you really are annoying."
Nephis tilted her head slightly. "That is not the word I expected."
"You keep doing that thing."
"What thing?"
"Refusing to defend yourself."
Nephis smiled sardonically. "You warned me, didn't you? If I lie, you will kill me. Nothing I said so far has been one."
Sunny laughed, his shoulders trembling from the exertion. "You know, I have played this exact conversation in my head for almost two years already. In half of them, you were dead by the end, and in the other half, something very different happened."
"What-"
He continued, interrupting her before she could ask. "In none of them did you just accept every accusation. And somehow it annoys me even more than if you tried to justify it."
"Because it would be easier to hate me if I did?"
Sunny smiled bitterly. "Yes."
"I can still do that if you want," she said lightly. "Throw some excuse, make up a justification."
He snorted. "Too late for that." Sunny dragged a hand through his hair. "We even got sidetracked; this wasn't the reason why I told you about my first nightmare."
Nephis tilted her head, staring at him in confusion. "Why then?"
"Auro." He waved his hand, and a shadow rose, taking the shape of a handsome man with ornate armor. "I met him again in the third nightmare. He was still just as self-righteous inside. So much so that even causing the death of millions did not faze him in the slightest. The bastard even had the gall to say that it was for a just cause. That their sacrifice was necessary. That since his cause was just, every action he took to see it through was just too."
The shadow distorted violently, its shape never managing to stay still.
"Do you know who that reminds me of?" His voice was as cold and sharp as a blade.
Nephis did not need to think hard to know. "Of me."
He nodded silently. "Of you."
The silence that followed was suffocating.
A shadow blade appeared at her throat so quickly she did not even have time to blink before it was there.
"I will ask simply." The blade pressed closer. "Do you intend to do the same? Will you go as far as he did to enact your revenge?"
For a moment, Nephis did not answer.
The question lingered in the air between them, heavy with meaning.
Sunny was asking whether she would become the same kind of person, someone who believed that their goal justified anything done in its pursuit. Someone who could look at a mountain of corpses and still call the path that led there just.
Someone who would sacrifice him again if the choice presented itself.
Nephis lowered her gaze briefly, considering her words. Then she looked back at him.
"Have I ever told you about my second nightmare?"
Sunny's eyes narrowed slightly. "You didn't."
"My vessel inside was a descendant of the Sun God. That, paired with my high divinity, made me a passable imitation of one of His avatars." She paused briefly. "A saint I met there proposed we use that fact to our advantage. He wanted to start a civil war."
Sunny studied her face carefully. The blade at her throat did not move.
"To destabilize the kingdom," she continued calmly. "To weaken it from within. He believed it would make the battle ahead of us far more manageable."
A faint crease appeared between Sunny's brows. "You refused."
"I did."
She held his gaze, not looking away even for a moment.
"After that," Nephis continued, her voice steady, "I was betrayed by a member of my cohort."
Sunny blinked once. "Why?"
"Because I was weak." She spat the word with such venom that it almost seemed to burn her tongue. "To him, refusing to ignite a civil war was weakness. Anything short of complete, uncompromising slaughter was weakness." Her expression hardened slightly. "In him, I saw what I could have become. What I might have been… if I had never met you."
The geode remained dark.
Sunny's expression shifted, confusion briefly surfacing through his anger.
"Why?" he asked.
Nephis leaned back slightly in her chair.
"I have spent a long time thinking about what happened at the Crimson Spire. About what I did… and what it means for the path I chose." Her gaze sharpened. "About what kind of person I would have to become to reach the end of it."
She paused to take a deep breath.
"Do you know what I decided?"
"No."
A faint smile touched her lips. It was full of teeth. "That I refuse to become that kind of person."
Her voice carried a quiet certainty.
"I refuse to walk any path I would despise at the end of it. When I take revenge -on the Spell and on the Ghouls alike- I will do it my way. In a way that will never hurt you the way I did. In a way that will not drown the world in blood, the way the Dark Castle did."
The geode stayed dark.
"I will take revenge on all of them. That, I promise. I will do it in a way that satisfies me. That, I also promise." She inhaled slowly. "If that is my will…"
"…then who dares stop you?" Sunny finished, a sardonic smile tugging at his lips.
Nephis met the smile with a calm nod. "Which leads me to you." She straightened slightly. "I promise I will make it right. I promise I will do everything in my power to mend what I broke between us. I know I have no right to ask. But I will ask anyway."
She looked him directly in the eyes.
"Is there anything I can do to make you forgive me?"
He was silent for a long, long time, so much so that she began to worry about the pain it must have caused him. In the end, almost a minute after her question was posed, he sighed.
"I don't know," he admitted. "I have no idea what you can do to earn my forgiveness." He tilted his head, eyes growing darker. "However… there is something you can do to convince me of just how strong your conviction is."
"Anything."
He smiled sharply. "Aster, Song, Vale. The Spell. Pick one of them to stop pursuing revenge against, and I will be convinced of just how much you care about your promises."