Chapter Summary: Turns out that godhood comes with existential dread and awkward leaf exercises.
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They watched in silence as the Temple was left behind at last, completely disappearing from the horizon, just like how they would leave the Black Mountains soon enough.
Nephis' gaze followed it all the way, until its profile finally vanished across the dark peaks and the morning mist, her mind occupied by questions that had plagued her ever since Sunny had returned with the tale of his battle against the guardian.
She wondered what hid inside. What kind of marvelous secrets were tucked away within? What was so valuable as to still be guarded now? So long after the Age of the Gods had come to an end?
Questions like those and many more swam within her mind while her eyes drifted toward the retreating moon, slowly but inevitably being replaced by the rising sun.
Beside her, there was Sunny, his face grim and eyes ablaze with determination as he stared at the spot on the horizon where the structure had been visible not long ago.
"One day, I will go back," he promised vehemently.
Nephis tilted her head in his direction, noticing how tightly his fists were closed, as if barely holding himself back from doing just that at this very moment.
"Are you sure it's wise to leave it alone?"
Sunny did not answer immediately.
He was thinking carefully, his eyes still lost in the distance, probably pondering the same things she had. In the end, he let out a soft exhale and turned around, casting away the image from his mind.
"The Guardian only lets those with divinity pass, which is just the two of us. I'm out, and considering you are a Nephilim, the chances that it will attack you are not negligible, either. There is also a possibility that there are more surprises waiting inside." Sunny shrugged. "Besides, we cannot afford to lose too much time here. The more we wait, the more time we give Valor to prepare another strike."
Nephis heard his words carefully and found them sound, just as they had been before. There was, however, something that still piqued her interest.
"You think we cannot defeat it, even when working together," she stated evenly.
"Yes," he agreed easily. "I had my suspicions, but the fight more than confirmed it. That thing is a Supreme at the very least."
"Is the difference between us that big?"
She had seen his reaction to Ki Song. The wariness had been well hidden, but she knew him well enough to spot it. If they were to fight, Nephis knew with absolute certainty that he wouldn't come out on top.
However, there were two of them now, and arrogant as it was to think, they had yet to find an opponent they couldn't defeat together.
Sunny must have been able to tell what she was thinking, for he smiled without humor. "If two Saints were to fight and defeat a Supreme, then that says far more about how weak the Supreme is than about how strong the Saints are. And that thing? It's far from being weak."
Nephis hummed noncommittally, analyzing the words carefully. She didn't doubt his sincerity; it wasn't like him to try and mislead her about something like this, not when he knew very well that she was bound to clash with the Ghouls sooner rather than later.
Or maybe he really was trying to mislead her, and it was a hidden plot of his. It was a possibility, little as it was, that she couldn't dismiss, no matter how much she wanted to.
It hurt.
This whole thing.
Having to second-guess every single word that came out of his mouth, watch for hidden meanings and traps, and wonder if he had already made his choice and chosen against her.
Whenever the thought rose, a part of her never failed to remind her that it was her fault that it had come to this, and that she would be far worse in his shoes.
It frustrated her to no end, and she could do nothing but bear with it.
"Because of the will?" she asked in the end, if only to avoid thinking in circles once again.
He nodded thoughtfully, brows scrunched in open irritation. "Yes."
"You mentioned it before but didn't go into detail," she prodded.
A snort escaped Sunny, who looked at her with what could pass for exasperation.
"Because normal people aren't supposed to go and become a Saint mere weeks after they learn how to," Sunny retorted, a faint trace of bitterness present in his voice.
It was her turn to snort. "Just like how normal people don't jump from a Sleeper to a Saint all in one go."
His lips twitched upward minutely. "Point taken."
For a brief moment, there was silence.
She heard the breeze, the quiet swishing of their clothes, small metallic clinks of Saint's armor -who kept glaring at her, sword in hand- and finally, a long, tired exhale from Sunny.
"Might as well," he said, the hints of a smile peeking through his grim expression. "Follow me."
Without waiting for her answer, he started walking toward a small copse of trees in the distance.
Saint followed him instantly, her gait steady and measured even as she advanced. Nephis did not fail to notice her posture, and the way it would allow her to turn around and attack immediately if she gave her the smallest excuse to do so.
Coming last, she matched their step, following at a safe distance to avoid triggering more of the zealous shadow's ire.
A minute later, they arrived at the copse, which was composed of tall trees with gray-brown trunks and vibrant green leaves. Nephis looked around, trying to find whatever it was that he wanted to show her in this place, yet failed to find anything of note.
When she shot him a questioning glance, he shrugged and summoned a shadow tendril.
It rose from his palm, snaking its way around it for half a second before shooting upward toward the branch of one of the trees, where it gently plucked one of its leaves before retreating back to his open hand, depositing its spoils before disappearing.
Sunny straightened his posture and adopted a serious expression. It was his teaching mode, one that he liked to take on whenever it was time to teach Rain a lesson.
Nephis fought to keep her expression neutral. It was criminal just how adorable he looked with that serious face.
"What makes a god, a god?" he asked. "What is the difference between the divine and the mundane?"
She tilted her head at the question. It was neither rhetorical nor philosophical, which left only one answer in her mind.
"Power," she answered shortly.
"Correct. But what specifically about it?"
With the topic at hand taken into account, the answer was obvious.
"Their will."
"Yes." He waved the arm that didn't hold the leaf, and a miniature Dark City shaped itself from the shadows. "With my aspect, I created this replica. However, any divine can recreate the real thing with nothing but their will. And that would be within the lower end of absurd things they can pull off."
The implication took less than a heartbeat to settle, bringing chaos to her mind in the same instant.
She remembered Sunny's tale about the Flame of Desire, how there was nothing but the Void before its birth, and the Gods started creating all of reality. She had thought that it was a quality special to them, part of their aspect, or a special power bestowed upon them by their connection to the flame that could not be replicated.
As it turned out, she had been wrong. The possibilities alone were staggering.
Could she destroy the Spell just by willing it? Kill the Ghouls by wanting it hard enough? Maybe even bring back…
"Can will do anything?" she asked before her hopes could rise higher, straining to keep her voice even.
Her expression, through countless hours of practice, had remained the same, but Sunny could tell what she was thinking all the same.
"No," he answered softly. "Or at least it won't for a long, long time."
She accepted the disappointment that settled heavily inside her chest with the ease of habit. "Can you elaborate, please?"
"Yes." He took a long breath before continuing, a wistful look briefly passing through his eyes. "Remember the dreams I told all of you about?"
"Yes."
"In one of them, I was a Sacred," he revealed.
Nephis' eyes widened at that.
Sunny's dreams within his third nightmare had resulted in some bad habits that he was still fighting to get rid of, but it couldn't be denied that he had also obtained incredibly valuable information thanks to them, as well as a mastery over his aspect that would have taken a long time otherwise.
But this? It exceeded them all by far. To think that he had been a Sacred within them, a minor god by all rights.
Wait, that also meant that…
He knew. He knew how to climb all the way to the penultimate step without requiring assistance from the Spell.
Maybe, just maybe, she would never need the accursed thing's assistance to become stronger until she had to take the last step. Maybe not even that one, if they could find out how to do it naturally before that.
"Are you done fantasizing?" he asked dryly.
Broken from the line of thought, Nephis focused back on Sunny, who was looking at her with irritation.
She coughed awkwardly.
Letting out a snort, he resumed speaking. "As a Sacred, my will was vast enough to encompass the whole realm, holding almost limitless sway over its very composition."
"What was the problem?" she asked, noticing his expression.
"The simple fact that everything in this world has will." He gestured to the leaf still resting on his open palm. "From the leaves of a tree, to people and noble beasts, and even the wind and the water. Every single thing has a will of its own." Something shifted behind Sunny's eyes, and in less than a second, the leaf withered down to nothing. "I cannot wield will just yet, so I made do with an ability of mine. However, if I could, the result would be the one you just saw."
She peered curiously at the motes of dust that were all that remained of the leaf.
It wasn't anything too spectacular -she could do it faster and easier with her aspect- but being able to do that just by wanting it enough? That was power in its truest definition.
"In the end, everything comes down to a contest of wills. My own against everyone else's," he continued, waving his hand to disperse the dust.
Nephis grasped instantly what he meant. "So as long as you can overpower everyone's will, you can do anything?"
"That's a gross oversimplification, but yes." He shook his head. "However, what you just said is far from being as easy as you make it sound. Back within the dream, I was the only Sacred, with five Supreme subordinates. In a direct fight, I could easily kill all five of them. However, if I were to attempt to erase everything within the realm at the same time, I would be unable to."
"Because it would be your will against every single living and non-living being inside it," she guessed. "Small as they might be in comparison to yours, they all add up to something even a minor god cannot overcome."
Sunny nodded. "Which brings us to the crux of the matter. In this world, every action has its opposite reaction." He gestured to the tree from which he had plucked the leaf. "Let's say that you don't like the color of this tree. You want it to be blue with orange leaves instead. It would be your will against it, simple, right?"
She nodded silently, awaiting the 'but' that was coming.
"Except that you are not only fighting the tree. You are also fighting the soil it is planted in, the wind that shapes its form, the light that changes its color, and a thousand other things I'm probably not accounting for."
He summoned the [Endless Spring] to refresh his throat before continuing.
"Returning to your question: Can will do anything? No, but also yes. As a Saint, you won't be able to grasp more than a sliver of it. As Supreme, you will be able to wield it and shape reality within reason. As Sacred, reason goes out the window. And as a divine, the only thing capable of resisting you is either another divine or one of the absolute laws."
Nephis nodded in understanding, then blinked upon noticing his conflicted expression.
"What's wrong?" she asked, letting a hint of concern bleed through her voice.
Sunny's expression relaxed immediately, but not fast enough.
"A lot. But in this case? The price of power," he answered, looking aside.
"Which is?" she prodded when he did not elaborate.
He shrugged with forced nonchalance. "You become so much more true, but you also become so much less."
Nephis did not know how to answer that. Fortunately, this time he continued.
"When was the last time you slept uncomfortably?"
She stared at him oddly. Was there some double meaning behind the question? A trick or hidden hint that she should be on the lookout for? Was he implying that…
"For Spell's sake, it's a straightforward question. Just answer it," he muttered in irritation, turning back to look at her.
Not fully convinced but willing to see where he was going, she answered honestly. "I can't remember."
Sunny nodded. "Yeah, me neither. That's the thing, our bodies have become so much tougher and resilient that there is simply no such thing as finding something too rough to sleep in." He waved at himself, then back at her. "This is just one among many little things. Our sight has never been better, and the same for the other senses. Our balance, coordination, and everything else are leaps and bounds beyond what it was before, too."
Nephis narrowed her eyes, understanding starting to settle.
"You get it, don't you? With each step, we become stronger, less limited, more. Until one day, we will look back and fail to understand why we ever cared about things like needing food, or sleep, or a thousand other things." He chuckled bitterly. "Little by little, the path of ascension chips away at your humanity until there is nothing left but an empty vessel wearing your face."
Understanding fully settled, followed immediately by horror.
What he described sounded just like the state she was in after overusing her aspect. Except that it wouldn't be the consequence of her actions, nor something temporary, but her new normal.
What would it be like? Would she just burn at all times when there was no humanity left to stop her from doing so?
"How was it to be a Sacred?" she asked, almost dreading the answer she would receive.
Sunny smiled without humour. "Exhilarating, but also the most terrifying experience I have ever lived. Back at that time, I was too preoccupied with ending the nightmare to linger on it, but now? When I actually have time to process it? It gives me goosebumps just to remember. Within that dream, Auro had orchestrated an attack that led to the deaths of tens of thousands, and you know what?"
He laughed coldly, a barely discernible tremble starting to encompass his body. "I was only mildly irritated by the fact. Not even because of the deaths, but because I would have to deal with the cleanup and find him to dole out punishment. That thing that I was... it terrifies me. He would help a little girl cross the street with the same calm that he would kill millions."
The trembling became stronger, his body overcome by an emotion too strong to contain, his expression that of someone who had seen something they dearly wished to forget yet couldn't.
Nephis took a step forward without saying a word, arms slowly rising to encompass his trembling form.
His humourless smile gained, just briefly, a hint of warmth; however, he shook his head, quietly refusing her offer of comfort. She took it in stride, stepping back and letting her arms fall at her sides.
A spark of jealousy rose right after when Saint approached and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, an action he made no effort to stop.
"I won't take that step until I find a way to stay true to myself," he stated with absolute conviction as the tremble receded. "Anything less, and I would become yet another plague, one that would only be a matter of time before it is unleashed upon the world."
"You won't become that monster," she stated with just as much conviction. "You are too strong to lose yourself like that."
He chuckled faintly. "I hope so."
A minute passed in silence, neither of them eager to break it.
Nephis was busy processing all of the information she had received in such a short amount of time.
Meanwhile, Sunny seemed to be going through memories of the past, not particularly good ones at that.
Finally, there was Saint, standing close to Sunny as if to protect him from the world.
After the minute was over, and with her thoughts settled, she decided to ask a question that had been on her mind ever since the conversation started.
"Do you mind telling me how to become a Supreme?"
He looked at her oddly, as if he couldn't understand the words for a moment, and then laughed uproariously. "I just told you the consequences of continuing to progress, yet you ask that already?"
"Supremacy should be fine. Besides..." She nodded in his direction. "I have you to keep me in check."
He chuckled faintly, bitterness, exasperation, and an almost indistinguishable fondness mixed in. "I would ask if you are crazy, but I already know the answer."
"The Ghouls won't wait, so neither can I," she replied evenly.
"Yeah, should have expected that answer," he said, shaking his head. "No, I don't mind. In fact, I was getting to that before I got sidetracked."
Nephis remained silent, eagerly awaiting the explanation.
"First, you need to build a nascent domain. That one, you are already doing."
She nodded.
"Second, you need a deep connection to your source element. Which, considering your habit of swimming in divine fire, is already fulfilled too."
She nodded once more, a hint of red tinging her cheeks.
His voice became more serious. "Then comes the last two. You need to grasp your will and then perform an act of defiance."
"Defiance against what?" she asked curiously.
"That's up to you, as it can take many forms: slaying an overwhelmingly powerful opponent, going against your own nature, twisting the laws of the world through your will, or straight-up opposing the will of the gods." He paused before continuing. "However, you must keep in mind that the act must be one that goes against the norm. Someone who has spent their whole life defying the will of the gods won't become a Supreme by doing it once again. That alone makes becoming a Supreme a truly harrowing challenge."
He chuckled faintly.
"In this aspect, we are at a disadvantage, what with the ludicrous things we do on the regular."
A chuckle left her, too, agreeing wholeheartedly.
"I brought you here to get started on the will part," he said just as another shadow tendril plucked yet another leaf. "The will is something that we are always using in every single action that we take. However, this will be aimless and unfocused. So what you need to do is learn to use it on demand, and in just the way you want it to."
She accepted the leaf when he motioned her to and stared at him in askance.
"This is the first exercise. Through nothing but your will, you have to make that leaf stick to your hand."
Her brows furrowed in thought. "Have you managed it already?"
"I haven't," he replied. "But as long as you keep trying, you will eventually get it."
Nephis nodded, a look of concentration on her face as she started to consider the task at hand.
How should she go about it? Just want it hard enough to stick to her hand? Order it instead? What would be the better approach?
A sudden thought came to mind, and the words left her mouth before she could stop them. "Why are you helping me?"
Despite the question being voiced involuntarily, Nephis couldn't deny that it was important.
She knew that he hated her just as much as he loved her. Knew that he didn't like the fact that she had already caught up to him. Knew that the stronger she was, the less freedom he would have.
So why? Why go out of his way to help?
He did not answer immediately.
Sunny regarded her quietly, with a neutral expression and eyes that said nothing yet betrayed everything. In them, Nephis saw what she already knew was there: love and hate, locked in an eternal fight.
Nephis could perceive desires, and while she hadn't mastered the ability yet, she could pinpoint with decent accuracy what others wanted. With Sunny, though? With his desires constantly in flux? She could never truly tell.
At times, he desired her death so deeply it felt like a blade poised at her throat. At other times, he desired her so much it felt like she was burning up.
And right now? It shifted even faster, from love to hate and back in a dizzying manner.
"Power," he answered at last.
She regarded him with confusion. "Power?"
"Yes." He left out a slow exhale. "I need to become powerful, the most powerful at that." A sardonic smile tugged at his lips. "So what better way to motivate myself than dragging you along?"
"So that you may never hold even more power over me than you already do." It was left unsaid yet heard by both.
"Do you truly believe that?" she asked evenly, not letting on just how much the words had hurt her.
"I cannot lie," he replied just as evenly.
She heard the words and understood that while a part of him -the one that hated her beyond anything-believed in them, the other part wanted something else.
Nephis could see it in his expression, in the way his brows were scrunched at that specific angle, in the thin line formed by his lips, and in the emotion peeking behind the coldness in his eyes.
"I don't want to be alone either," she said softly.
Saying those words took more effort than she was proud to admit. All of her life, she had been taught to project strength, to be as unassailable as a fortress, to let no chink in her armor show. Admitting weakness, even to him, was something that went against her very nature.
"I never said anything about being alone," he retorted, a hint of anger bleeding through his voice.
"You didn't," she agreed easily. "Just ask, and I will never mention it again. But I'm sure of it. You want someone by your side, someone with whom to walk together through the harrowing path ahead, someone to share the burden with." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I want it, too."
He tilted his head, a cold smile forming on his lips. "Oh, but you already have it, don't you? Master."
"I made a promise not to use the bond, and I intend to keep it," she replied without missing a beat. "If you stand by my side, it's because you want to, not because I order you to."
Sunny's eyes grew colder yet, just as the shadows stirred violently. From the corner of her eye, she spotted Saint, her grip on the sword tighter, ready -eager- to pounce.
"Aren't you too full of yourself?" he spat venomously.
"I am," she agreed. "But you did not deny what I said."
With a thunderous expression, he took a step forward, the shadows behind him rising into towering spires, morphing into countless weapons and shapes of nightmare so fast she could barely follow.
Nephis did not move even as he approached menacingly.
Halfway through, he stopped dead in his tracks and stayed like that for a long moment. Finally, with clenched fists, Sunny turned around and left without saying another word, closely followed by Saint.
Nephis silently watched his back until he disappeared behind a tall tree, frustration mounting once more within her.
"That was a mistake."
And what a colossal understatement that was.
She fought against the urge to run after him. It would only make things worse, but gods, did she want to.
It was only through a titanic effort of will that she managed to restrain herself and cast the idea out of her mind. He needed time to cool down; having her close by would only serve to infuriate him further.
Nephis let out a dejected sigh, regret settling heavily in her stomach.
She returned her gaze to the crumpled leaf within her grasp and started pondering once more how to grasp her will, if only to force her mind away from just how badly she had messed up.
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Cassie walked past the threshold of the kitchen absentmindedly. Her mind was occupied, coming up with dozens of plans and discarding them just as fast in the span of a breath.
A little more than two weeks had come and gone since their departure from the Chained Isles, and they were quickly approaching the safest point from which they could access the Stormsea.
The problem was the fact that just this morning, the future had changed a dozen times, and it did not look like it would stop doing so any time soon. That fact concerned her deeply. Her predictions had been broken before, but not to this degree, and not with so much variance.
Something big was coming, and she dreaded the idea that her preparations were not enough.
With her mind distracted, it took her three whole seconds to realize that there was someone else already present within the kitchen, preparing breakfast.
First, she noticed the smell of fresh coffee. After that, the fragrant smell of meat cooking in a pan, eggs, and many other things that would make the local glutton salivate at the sight.
All of those little details were forgotten the moment she realized that the other person was Sunny, whose turn to cook was today. Before she could consider leaving, he chose to speak.
"Cassie," he greeted in an even tone, not bothering to turn his back from where he was cutting some fruit.
"Sunny," she greeted back, her tone just as even.
She had only intended to grab a glass of water, but when she heard the clinking of porcelain and something being poured in, she accepted without a doubt the fragrant cup of coffee that he offered.
Cassie regretted it immediately after her fingers were almost burned by the hot porcelain. She had been distracted enough to forget that Sunny's petty revenges never stopped.
She didn't need to use her mark on him to know that there was a mischievous smile on his face.
"What's on your mind?" he asked, idly dicing some fruit.
Cassie took a seat on one of the chairs and placed the scalding cup on the table, relief coursing through her hands immediately after.
"The fact that we are most likely heading toward our deaths," she answered honestly.
He snorted. "So, the usual?"
A smile tugged at her lips. "Yes, the usual."
She prepared herself to keep scrying the future while she waited for her coffee to cool down. However, before she could, a thought popped into her mind.
"How do you think fate works?" she asked, genuinely curious about his opinion.
The clattering of cooking utensils stopped briefly, only long enough for her to notice before it resumed.
A minute after she posed her question, he finally answered. "Fate decides on an outcome, and that one comes to pass no matter what."
Cassie hummed noncommittally, idly wondering how he would react if he knew just how close his answer came to the one that Neph had given her in the past.
"Yet we have broken Fate," she countered shortly after.
Cassie tapped lightly on her cup to check the temperature. Still scalding.
"So did Weaver say," he agreed lightly.
Her eyes widened behind her blindfold. She was aware of the fact that the Daemon had left messages behind. She had even been watching when Sunny uncovered that message in the cave.
But to have confirmation from Weaver? The Daemon of Fate themselves?
"I, however, have my doubts," he continued, derailing her thoughts.
She turned her blind gaze to his back. "What do you mean?"
Sunny shrugged, plating one of the pieces of meat. "The bastard was able to predict right where I would end, both in the Dream Realm and in my Nightmare. Then, they also predicted that I would end up returning to that damn Mountain, and who knows what else. If fate has truly changed, how could that happen?"
Cassie nodded thoughtfully. It was a question she had posed herself many times in the past.
Was Weaver capable of peering into alternate paths, just like she could? Did they have another method to predict the future that did not depend on Fate? A wild yet surprisingly accurate guess?
How? Just how?
"Yeah, I know that expression," Sunny said while he cleaned one of the knives. "I don't recommend continuing down that line of thought unless you want to spend a while thinking in circles."
She gripped the hilt of her rapier so tightly that it almost cracked.
"How can you be so calm?" Cassie asked, fighting to keep her voice even. "You know it just as well as I do, the horrible future that is coming."
He shrugged once more. "Because it's pointless."
For a heartbeat, she did not understand the answer.
Point…less?
How could he say so?
He, who hated chains more than anything else? Who had caused many of the worst ends she had been made witness to in his attempts to break them? Who despised Fate just as much as she did?
"Explain," she asked as much as she ordered.
Sunny chuckled lightly and finally finished breakfast, settling down the utensils one by one as he spoke.
"What is there to explain?" he asked calmly. "Fate, Weaver, gods, call them whatever you like. They can spin their webs and plot their endings as much as they want, but I'm done pretending I care. I've been their puppet, their rebel, their pawn, and every path led me right where they wanted. So I'll make my own path instead. Not to defy them, not to prove anything, but because it's mine."
In the silence that ensued, his cold laughter echoed sharply.
"I'll go where I want, kill what I want, protect what I choose, and abandon what I don't. If the world burns because of it, then it burns. If it survives, then it survives. In the end, there's only one path I'll follow, Cassie: my own."
Sunny let out a quiet, almost amused snort. "As someone we both know would say: If that is my will, then who dares stop me?"
"All the more reason to—"
The words died in her throat.
Right at that moment, she spotted it through Kai's mark, the danger that she knew was coming.
Except that he shouldn't be here. She had made sure that he would be going in the opposite direction, led there through carefully placed red herrings and manipulations.
Far into the distance, yet too close to be evaded at this point, sitting on a throne made of flying swords...
Anvil of Valor awaited their arrival.