"Waaaah—!!! The corpse is moving!!!"
Paimon shrieked and shot straight into the air.
Lumine was startled so badly she fell flat on her butt, but she quickly noticed that the body on the ground wasn't attacking—just lying there quietly.
She scrambled back up, slowly reaching out with trembling fingers, trying to check whether the sky-fallen, half-dead stranger was still breathing.
Just as her fingertips were about to reach Yi Chen's nose—
The "corpse" on the ground suddenly snapped its eyes open!
Not only that—he bared his teeth and twisted his face into an extremely exaggerated, distorted, borderline horror-movie grin!
"WAAAAAAAH—!!!"
The sudden "corpse revival," combined with the blood still smeared on his face, was devastatingly effective!
Lumine's soul nearly left her body. The moment she had barely stabilized herself, she lost balance again and fell flat on the ground, scrambling backward on hands and feet.
"Eek—!!! I-It's really a zombie!!!"
Paimon's reaction was even more dramatic. Screaming at the top of her lungs, she transformed into a white shooting star and dove headfirst into a nearby bush—leaving only her little feet sticking out, kicking frantically.
"Pfft—hahaha—cough cough cough!"
Seeing their over-the-top reactions, Yi Chen couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing. Unfortunately, that tugged at his injuries, turning the laughter into painful coughing.
He struggled upright while coughing, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes.
"Hey, hey—aren't you two a little too timid?"
After catching his breath, Yi Chen looked at the blonde girl still sitting on the ground in shock, clearly reconsidering her life choices, and the unidentified white floating object trembling inside the bushes.
He grinned—a pale but thoroughly mischievous smile.
"In broad daylight, where would a zombie come from?
At most, I just count as a severely injured guy reviving on the spot, alright?"
Lumine clutched her chest, which was still trying to escape through her throat, and stared at the suddenly lively, laughing guy in disbelief. Her brain finally rebooted enough to realize—
This… might actually be a living person?
She pointed at him with a shaky finger, her voice still floating.
"Y-You… you're not dead? Then why were you lying there covered in blood, not moving at all?!"
"Oh, that?"
Yi Chen glanced down at his battered appearance and waved his hand dismissively.
"I was just a little dizzy after falling. Lay down to think about life philosophy for a bit.
As for the blood… eh, I've been a bit hot-blooded lately. Letting some blood out to cool down is normal, right?"
The explanation was so ridiculous that even Paimon popped her head out of the bush, her face screaming 'Do you think we're idiots?'
Seeing their lingering suspicion—especially Lumine's half-sitting, half-ready-to-bolt posture—Yi Chen found it even more amusing.
He deliberately looked Lumine up and down, noting her non-Mondstadt outfit and the strange floating creature beside her, then raised an eyebrow.
"Judging by how you're dressed… you're not from Mondstadt, are you?
Lost? Need a kind local citizen to point you in the right direction?"
Paimon flew straight up to him, hands on hips, cheeks puffed.
"Kind local citizen?! What kind of kind citizen falls from the sky, smashes into the ground, pretends to be dead, and scares innocent travelers?! Suspicious! Extremely suspicious! Paimon has decided to give you an ugly nickname!"
She circled him once, tapping her chin dramatically. Then she stopped, pointed at him, and declared loudly:
"From now on, you're 'The Mysterious Crash-Landing Man'!
How about it? Ugly, right? Perfect for you!"
"Pfft—HAHAHAHA!"
Yi Chen laughed so hard he nearly doubled over again.
"Alright, alright—'Mysterious Crash-Landing Man' it is… hahaha!
Sorry about that—I didn't mean to scare you."
After laughing his fill, he rubbed his aching stomach and looked at Lumine—still cautious but clearly more curious now—and at Paimon, who was sulking with puffed cheeks.
"How about this? To apologize—and to prove I'm actually a nice guy…"
He blinked.
"When we get to Mondstadt, I'll treat you to a good meal!
Honey-glazed carrot steak, satisfying salad, sweet madame—unlimited! How's that?"
"Honey-glazed carrot steak?!"
Paimon's eyes instantly turned into sparkling stars. All her anger vanished into the stratosphere as she zipped to Lumine's ear and whispered urgently—far louder than she thought:
"Traveler, Traveler! Those are Mondstadt's most famous dishes! They sound sooo good! Let's say yes! We were going to Mondstadt anyway!"
Lumine looked at Paimon's hopeless expression, then at the black-haired boy whose appearance was bizarre but whose smile seemed genuine.
After a moment of hesitation, she nodded.
"Alright… then… thank you, Mister 'Mysterious Crash-Landing Man.'"
She deliberately emphasized the nickname, though her lips curved slightly upward.
"No problem! Leave it to me!"
Yi Chen slapped his chest and sprang to his feet, as if he hadn't just been half-dead moments ago.
"Let's go! I'll take you by the fastest and safest route—guaranteed!"
He turned to lead the way, even humming an off-key Mondstadt tune, clearly in high spirits.
Paimon happily followed, already chattering nonstop about what else Mondstadt had to eat.
Lumine sighed helplessly at the sight of the two instantly bonding over food, then followed along.
Still, she couldn't help thinking:
Fell from the sky… smashed that badly… recovered this fast… treating strangers to food…
This guy is definitely still mysterious.