The Uchiha Clan District was a place built on the foundation of pride and the scent of ancient incense. Usually, it was a tomb of silent prestige, where even the wind seemed to blow with a certain arrogance. Today, however, it sounded like a disturbed hornet's nest.
I didn't want to be here.
In my pocket, the Heavenly Silk Sleeping Mask was practically calling to me. I could imagine the cool, immortal fabric pressing against my eyes, blocking out the world and its endless demands. Instead, I was standing in the center of the Uchiha Council Chamber, being stared at by men who looked like they hadn't smiled since the Second Great Ninja War.
The chamber was designed for intimidation. Dark, polished wood reflected the flickering candlelight. High rafters disappeared into shadows. Five elders sat on raised mats, their backs straight, their expressions carved from cold stone. They looked down at me as if I were a particularly offensive stain on their expensive rug.
In the center of the room stood Fugaku Uchiha, the Head of the Clan. He was a man who carried the weight of a thousand expectations on his shoulders. Behind him, Sasuke sat with a bandage wrapped around his head, staring at the floor in a mix of fury and soul-crushing shame. Every time his eyes flickered toward me, I could see the confusion eating him alive.
"Kenji," Fugaku spoke. His voice was a cold blade. It lacked the Hokage's deceptive warmth; it was sharp, direct, and meant to cut through any defense. "You stand accused of using an undocumented bloodline limit to assault a member of the Great Uchiha Clan. In this village, hidden techniques must be registered. Hidden powers must be explained."
I looked up at the rafters, tracing the path of a spider. "Assault is a strong word, Clan Head. I was standing. He was kicking. Physics took care of the rest. If a bird flies into a mountain, do you blame the mountain for being too solid?"
One of the elders a man whose face was a map of deep, bitter wrinkles slammed his hand on the low table. The sound cracked through the room like a whip. "Insolence! You have no chakra! You have no lineage! You are a commoner, a 'waste' with blocked coils! Explain the technique you used to humiliate my grandson, or you will find that the Leaf Village has very dark corners for people like you!"
[System Notification: The 'Old Flies' are buzzing. Their noise level is exceeding 90 decibels.]
[Quest: Maintain Your Silence for Three Minutes. Let the silence be your answer.]
[Reward: High-Efficiency Earplugs (Cursed Grade).]
Earplugs? I almost felt a spark of genuine joy. This system was a jerk, but it was a jerk that understood my soul.
I didn't answer. I didn't even look at the man. I just stood there, shifting my weight slightly. I looked back at the spider in the rafters. It was spinning a web with a level of focus I truly admired. It didn't care about bloodlines. It didn't care about "Great Clans." It just wanted to catch a fly and take a nap. We were kindred spirits.
"Answer us!" the elder roared again. His face was turning a shade of purple that looked medically concerning.
I checked my internal clock. Two minutes and ten seconds left.
Fugaku's eyes shifted. The black iris began to spin, the three tomoe blurring into a scarlet circle the Sharingan. He was trying to peer into my soul, to read the "flame" of my life force. Most ninjas would feel a chill under that gaze, a sense of being stripped naked and judged.
I just felt the Six Eyes react. To my vision, the Sharingan was like a low-resolution camera trying to film a solar flare. It was a flickering, desperate attempt to perceive a reality that it wasn't built to handle. Through my sunglasses, Fugaku's eyes looked like they were struggling to process a puzzle with half the pieces missing.
The room grew so quiet you could hear the candles flicker. The elders waited for me to break. They waited for the pressure of their collective "Face" to crush me.
"He is telling the truth," Fugaku whispered. His voice was trembling, a sound that made the elders freeze. "There is no chakra. No flow. No build-up of energy. It is as if he is... disconnected from our reality. He is not standing in this room; he is standing in a world we cannot reach."
"Impossible!" another elder barked. "Even the Sage of Six Paths used chakra! This boy is hiding a seal! Strip his shirt! Check his skin for markings! He is a spy, or a monster!"
I finally looked at the shouting man. My gaze was flat, devoid of any heat. "If you want to see me shirtless, you should at least buy me dinner first. But I should warn you, I don't go on dates with people who yell this much. It's bad for the digestion."
The silence that followed was absolute. Sasuke looked up, his jaw literally dropping. Fugaku actually blinked, his Sharingan flickering for a second in pure shock. No one spoke to the Uchiha Council like this. No one.
[Quest Complete. Reward: High-Efficiency Earplugs (Cursed Grade).]
[Effect: Cancels all sound below 80 decibels. Perfect for ignoring lectures and political speeches.]
I pulled the earplugs out of the void and popped them into my ears. Instantly, the heavy atmosphere of the room vanished. The angry breathing of the elders turned into a muffled, pleasant hum like a distant lawnmower on a Sunday afternoon.
"Are we done?" I asked. My own voice sounded weirdly quiet in my head. "Because I have a very important appointment with a pillow, and your 'Great Clan' vibes are starting to ruin my mood."
Fugaku stepped forward. He didn't use a jutsu. He just moved. He was an Elite Jonin, and his speed was terrifying. His hand reached for my collar, his fingers hooked like talons. He wasn't testing me like the Hokage; he was losing his patience.
Thud.
His hand hit the Infinity. He didn't just stop; the kinetic energy of his own movement reflected back into his wrist with a dull snap. He stumbled back, his eyes wide. His crimson Sharingan spun frantically, searching for the barrier, searching for the wall, searching for anything to explain why the world had just pushed him back.
"Get out," Fugaku said. His voice was a whisper, but I could read his lips. He looked at his shaking hand, then back at me. He wasn't angry anymore. He was afraid. He saw what the Hokage saw: a peak that could be seen, but never climbed.
"Gladly," I said.
I walked out of the Uchiha District without looking back. The sun was setting, painting the village in deep orange and violet. It was the only time of day that was truly quiet, but the shadows were getting long.
As I turned a corner toward my favorite ramen stall, a shadow detached itself from a stone wall.
It was a man in a porcelain mask. Anbu.
"The Foundation requests your presence," the masked man said. His voice was a machine. No emotion. No soul.
I stopped and sighed. First the Hokage. Then the Uchiha. Now the secret police. The universe really hated my nap schedule.
"Tell Danzo I'm busy," I said, not even slowing down. "Tell him to send a letter. I'll ignore it when I have more time."
"This wasn't a request, Kenji."
Four more masked figures appeared on the rooftops around me. They held tanto blades that glinted in the dying light. They moved in perfect synchronization, cutting off every exit.
I stopped. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my new sleeping mask. "You guys are really committed to making this a long day, aren't you?"
[Ding! New Quest: Teach the 'Shadows' the meaning of 'Untouchable.']
[Reward: Unlimited Ramen Pass (1 Month).]
I pulled my hands out of my pockets and adjusted my sunglasses.
"Fine," I muttered. "But if I miss my dinner, I'm charging you for the emotional damage. And believe me... I'm very expensive."