Xu Tian woke up at noon, stared at the ceiling, and decided the sun was offending him.
He raised one finger.
The sunlight in Void's Rest dimmed to a cozy twilight.
Customers looked up, confused.
One whispered, "Senior Void commands the heavens…"
The system's voice exploded in his head, dripping with sarcasm.
[Host, congratulations. You just nerfed a star because it was "too bright." Peak laziness achieved.]
Xu Tian smirked.
"Jealous?"
[Jealous? I'm a system. I don't have eyelids. You're the one who slept fourteen hours.]
Old Duan arrived first, wine gourd swinging.
"Kid, you look like you fought a nightmare and won."
Xu Tian poured tea without looking.
"I don't fight nightmares. I hire them."
[He means he dreamed about running out of tea leaves. Truly terrifying.]
Old Duan laughed.
Poison Fairy Ling glided in next.
"I sensed chaos from three streets away."
Xu Tian served her.
"Chaos is just boredom with better marketing."
Master Zhen stomped in last, beard extra bristly.
"You dimmed the sun. Again."
Xu Tian shrugged.
"It was staring."
[Translation: Host saw his reflection in the window and got competitive.]
The three regulars settled in.Old Duan slapped a jade slip on the counter.
"Big news. Continent-wide genius tournament. Three months. Top sects hosting. Prize: entry to the Hidden Immortal Realm fragment."
He leaned in.
"Real immortal treasures. Techniques that make Soul Transformation look cute."
Poison Fairy smiled sweetly.
"Lots of arrogant young masters to poison."
Master Zhen nodded.
"Arena barriers are mine. Unbreakable."
Xu Tian scanned the jade slip.
Rules.
Stages.
Rewards.
He tossed it back.
"Sounds like a playground for kids with ego problems."
Old Duan grinned.
"Exactly. Perfect place for a stroll."
The system chimed in, voice full of mock excitement.
[Oh joy! Host can enter, win everything in one move, then complain it was too easy. Classic.]
Xu Tian ignored it.
Out loud.
Poison Fairy laughed.
"You're considering it."
Xu Tian sipped his tea.
"Maybe."
The system again, louder.
[He's already planning how to break the "unbreakable" barriers on day one. Spoiler: with a teacup.]
Master Zhen's eyes narrowed.
"You know something."
Xu Tian smiled.
It started normal.
Then stretched.
Wide.
Too wide.
"I could enter officially. Follow every rule. Win fairly."
His voice dropped.
"Then on the final day, when everyone's watching…"
He raised one finger.
An illusion formed above the counter.
The grand arena.
Thousands of geniuses.
Sect masters in VIP seats.
Treasures floating.
Then Xu Tian's illusion self floated above it all.
Yawned.
Snapped his fingers.
The entire arena folded like paper.
Collapsed into a tiny origami ball.
Dropped into his pocket.
The illusion vanished.
The tea house went silent.
Old Duan's jaw hung open.
Poison Fairy's eyes sparkled.
Master Zhen muttered, "My barriers…"
The system's voice was pure glee.
[Host just speedran the tournament in his head. New record: 0.2 seconds. Previous record: the war he ended last week.]
Xu Tian stood.
Walked to the door.
Flipped the sign to "Closed."
Turned back to the three regulars.
"I'll think about it."
Old Duan recovered.
"You do that, kid. We'll be there either way."
Poison Fairy waved.
"Bring snacks."
Master Zhen grumbled.
"Try not to break my work too fast."
They left.
Xu Tian locked the door.
Stood alone.
Stared at the menu board.
Then started laughing.
Soft.
Then loud.
The windows rattled.
The system spoke, half amused, half worried.
[Host, your laugh is at 87% murder clown levels. Should I be concerned?]
Xu Tian stopped.
Looked at the stars.
Whispered.
"Three months."
His golden eyes reflected the moonlight.
"Long enough to get creative."
Far away, in the joint headquarters of the three top sects, a transmission jade glowed urgently.
A scout's voice, trembling.
"Senior Void closed early again. The regulars left looking… excited. Something's coming."
A sect master paled.
"Triple the barriers."
Another.
"Quadruple."
The third looked at the sky.
And saw the sun was still dimmed.
He whispered.
"Pray he gets bored before the tournament starts."