"Am I dead?" Gray opened his eyes to a strangely unsettling darkness.
No—darkness was an understatement. That was an infinite black void, the kind that felt like it had been created solely to test someone's patience.
"I swear there were supposed to be tridents, fire, a bunch of demons waiting for me…" he thought. "This is just… boring."
He paused.
"Wait… do I even have a mouth?"
Silence. Great. Not even the afterlife felt like cooperating.
"Where the hell am I…?" he wondered.
"I mean, I remember the truck's license plate… what was it again?" He tried to pull the memory and failed miserably. "Ah, fuck it. If I made it here, I'm dead either way."
Curiously, panic never came. No despair. No dramatic, cinematic existential crisis everyone promises when you die. Nothing. Just a strange sense of relief.
"Honestly, this is kind of a break," he commented to himself. "Nobody deserves to spend eternity working in public construction."
He vaguely remembered the life he had just lost. A finally stable job. Bills paid on time. The remote possibility of starting a romance that didn't involve emotional failure.
He sighed.
"Either way… dying a virgin fucking sucks," he concluded. "Right when my life was finally somewhat decent."
That part hurt a little. Not physically—whatever that even meant now—but in his pride. In the infinite void, Gray hovered, indignant.
"FUCK!" he yelled at absolutely no one.
The void, of course, didn't answer.
Time flowed wrong in that place. Minutes? Hours? Days? Hard to tell. Not that it mattered much—but he was getting impatient as hell.
He started walking. Or something that felt like walking. In the end, he just wandered through the void—no ground, no direction, and no dignity.
"HEY! ANYONE?" he shouted, turning in all directions that didn't exist. "Can you hear me?! HELLO!! God, Buddha, whatever! Did you forget me in the reincarnation cycle?!"
[Confirmed]
A female voice appeared out of nowhere—because, of course, in that place even nothing had audio. Gray tried to look around.
"HEY! Hi! Miss! Get me out of here!" he yelled, already clinging to the first entity polite enough to answer.
[Error! Identifying soul without recycling. Converting to Mana]
Gray's face—if he even still had one—instantly twisted.
"HEY, HEY, HEY! DON'T TURN ME INTO ANYTHING! I'M FINE LIKE THIS!"
[Failed!]
[Recalculating… impossible due to lack of definition. Attempting alternative interpretation. Completed!]
[!]
"Huh?" he thought, just in time to feel a strange heat spreading through whatever still counted as his body. And then—poof—his consciousness began to fade like bad Wi-Fi signal.
The absolute darkness swallowing everything started to break apart, giving way to a strangely colorful light, a rainbow far too suspicious to be a good sign.
Gray felt a monumental headache.
[Reforming Soul… Success!]
[Soul reformed as Rank-SSS Monster]
[Due to the incompatibility of your soul, you have been transformed into a Doppelganger for rebirth.]
"What the fuck am I hearing—" He didn't have time to finish.
His entire body trembled. A wave of heat surged from his feet to his head, far too intense to ignore.
"Hmm… this actually feels kinda goo—HEY! Stop that!!" he complained, offended, as if the universe itself were crossing a line.
The good sensation was… too much.
Too hot.Too comfortable.Too dangerous.
Gray tried to complain again, but the words wouldn't come. His consciousness grew heavy, sinking like someone insisting on "just five more minutes" after the alarm goes off.
"Okay… this is definitely not part of the standard post-death package…" was his last coherent thought before everything went dark.
He fell asleep.
Or passed out.
Or got shut down by the cosmic system like an old computer freezing.
When he came to, the first thing he noticed was… texture.
Something cold and solid pressed against his back.
"Ugh…" he groaned, opening his eyes with difficulty. "Since when does the void have a floor?"
He blinked a few times. The darkness didn't return. Instead, a soft light—far too colorful to be natural—illuminated everything around him.
Gray propped himself up on his arms and felt something rough beneath his fingers.
Stone.
"…Ah." He paused. "So now I have touch. Wonderful."
He stood up slowly, his body responding better than expected. Way better, actually. Too good. Suspicious. He looked at his hands—actual hands, with fingers, nails, everything in place… but… they looked like mist, completely black, yet still undeniably there.
"Okay… either this is a very elaborate dream, or someone really went all-in on the atmosphere."
That was when he looked around.
The cave was enormous. The walls, floor, and even the ceiling were completely covered in rainbow crystals, of every possible size. Some were as small as glass shards, others as large as pillars. Light reflected off them hypnotically, painting the environment with colors that shifted with every movement.
It was beautiful as hell.
Too beautiful to be trustworthy.
"Wow…" he murmured, slowly turning in place. "Either I died and ended up in a fantasy RPG… or I've finally lost my mind for good."
He took two cautious steps. The crystals glowed brighter as he moved, as if reacting to his presence.
"…Yeah, that's definitely suspicious."
Gray crossed his arms, analyzing the cave like someone who just woke up in an unfamiliar place and decided that complaining was the best survival strategy.
"Alright," he said out loud. "Shiny cave, rainbow crystals, I apparently reincarnated as some Rank-SSS something no one bothered to explain properly…"
He sighed. "…Where the fuck did I end up now? Damn it, not even one of those isekai-style systems?"
[!]
[Installing… Completed!]
[Ultimate Harem Monster System!]
A text box floated right in front of him, glowing with the same shamelessness as its name.
Gray blinked. Then blinked again.
"…Well, look at that. So I got a hack." He crossed his arms. "I'm fine being reborn as a mysterious mist. Conceptual. Minimalist."
[Incorrect! You are currently a Rank-SSS Monster: Doppelganger]
"…Oh."
He stayed silent for a few seconds, processing the information with the same expression as someone who had just read the fine print of a cursed contract.
"I…" he began slowly. "I'm that monster?"
He made air quotes, just to be safe.
"The one that always dies when the protagonist confronts himself, faces his own trauma, gives a motivational speech, and defeats me to 'overcome his feelings'?"
The narrator, of course, already knew the answer. The system did too.
[Impossible to respond.]
Gray took a deep breath.
"…That was a very polite 'yes.'"
He stared at the floating box, clearly offended by the narrative fate forming in front of him.
"Alright," he muttered. "Reborn as a Rank-SSS monster, in a magical world, with a system that has a questionable name… and a very high chance of becoming someone else's character development."
Pause. "…At least I don't have to go to work tomorrow."
He stood up and stretched. Or thought he did. "I don't have bones," he said.
He sighed. "I have a system, and I'm a monster. What abilities do I have?"
[Opening skill interface.]
A series of translucent windows opened in the air, overlapping one another, filled with text, strange symbols, and that irritating glow of something far too powerful to be free.
Gray squinted. "…Here we go."
[Aberrant Existence (Passive – Unique)]:You possess no true form. Your existence is not fixed to a body, race, or defined biological structure. You may manifest complete or incomplete forms that do not follow natural patterns. You may copy a single arm, legs, or an entire body. You are immune to racial control effects, hierarchical domination, and hive commands, regardless of Rank difference. You are considered the apex of your chosen species and can never be commanded by anyone.
Gray read it.Read it again.Blink.
"…So basically, I'm a walking conceptual error."
He looked at his black mist hands and tried to imagine an extra arm forming there. The mist bubbled slightly, as if considering the idea—but nothing happened. After all, he had nothing to copy.
"…Okay. That's disturbing." Pause. "…But also really cool."
[Reflectionless Body (Passive)]: You are not reflected by magical mirrors, enchanted surfaces, or spiritual observation methods. Detection, tracking, or prediction techniques return incomplete, contradictory, or invalid information. Attacks that require fixed targets, auto-lock, or absolute marking suffer severe accuracy reduction and have a high chance of failure. To the world, you are a blind spot.
Gray tilted his head. "…So not even the universe knows exactly where I am? That's why that thing talking to me was having trouble…"
He imagined a powerful mage trying to locate him, only to receive something like 'maybe there, maybe not, good luck'.
A crooked smile appeared. "That explains a lot about the whole floating-in-the-dark-abyss thing."
[Imitation (Rank-SSS – Level Limited)]: You may copy abilities, characteristics, or special traits from other monsters. Copying depends on Rank difference, structural compatibility, and the user's current adaptive capacity. Compatible abilities may be permanently copied and stored. Incompatible abilities fail, are rejected, or cause bodily instability. Current limitations restrict the number, complexity, and Rank of abilities that can be copied.
Gray's eyes widened.
"…Wait.""…Wait, wait, wait."
He pointed at the screen. "This is literally stealing builds." Pause, thinking. "…Okay, there's a chance I explode if I copy the wrong thing." Another pause. "…Still worth it."
The system did not comment.
[Latent Monstrous Bond (Rank-SSS Harem)]: You are physically, biologically, and existentially compatible with any monster or magical race. You may form intimate, emotional, or devotional bonds and generate offspring with any species. By establishing a deep and permanent bond, you permanently unlock the bonded race's form. Acquired forms may be transformed, evolved into independent lineages, and combined with one another. The bond is absolute and irreversible; shared existence becomes part of you.
Silence.
Gray read it once.Then again.Then just stood there, processing.
"…System."
[Yes?]
"…That name." He slowly pointed to the top of the interface. "Ultimate Harem Monster System."
[Correct.]
He rubbed his face—or where his face should be.
"…So it wasn't a joke."
Gray took a deep breath. "Alright. So I'm a formless monster, invisible to detection, that copies powers and unlocks races by… having sex with them? How fun. For someone who died a virgin, fucking monsters shouldn't be a problem, right?"
[…]
"Right?"
[Right?]
"…Do I have any status?"
[Status]
[Name: Gray][Race: Doppelganger][Level: 0]
[Abilities: Aberrant Existence (Passive – Unique), Reflectionless Body (Passive), Imitation (Rank-SSS – Level Limited), Latent Monstrous Bond (Rank-SSS)]
[STR: 0][AGL: 0][VIT: 0][STM: 0][INT: 0]
[Resistance: None!][Mana: 0]
Gray read the status.
Blink.
Read it again. More slowly. Like the text might change out of pity.
Nothing changed.
"…System."
[Yes?]
"This is wrong."
[Negative.]
He pointed at the panel, his finger passing slightly through his own misty hand. "I'm a Rank-SSS monster."
[Correct.]
"With broken abilities, unique passives, conceptual immunities, and a name that sounds like badly disguised fanfiction."
[Correct.]
"…Then why THE FUCK is EVERYTHING ZERO?"
Silence.
An awkward silence. The kind that screams 'good luck dealing with that.'
Gray ran his hands through his head—or the nebulous equivalent—and started pacing in circles.
"ZERO STRENGTH. ZERO AGILITY. ZERO VITALITY. ZERO STAMINA. ZERO INTELLIGENCE." He stopped. "…That last one I refuse to accept."
[Values correct.]
"I HAVE ZERO MANA."
[Yes.]
"I AM MADE OF MIST, BORN IN A MAGICAL RAINBOW CRYSTAL CAVE, AND I HAVE NO MANA."
[Exact.]
Gray stood still for a few seconds, trying not to lose it.
He failed miserably.
"THEN WHAT AM I?!" He spread his arms. "A POORLY IMPLEMENTED IDEA?! AN UNFINISHED CONCEPT?! A COSMIC BETA TEST?!"
The cave remained beautiful, illuminated, and completely indifferent to his emotional collapse.
"I can't run." He tried to move fast. It wasn't fast.
"I can't hit." He punched the air. His hand passed through his own shadow.
"I can't take a hit." He pinched his arm. It didn't hurt—which, ironically, didn't help at all.
"I HAVE NO RESISTANCE TO ANYTHING." His eyes widened. "I CAN DIE TO A ROCK."
[Technically correct.]
"STOP SAYING THAT."
Gray took a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale again.
"Okay." Pause. "Okay. Let's think rationally."
The narrator watched with curiosity, wondering how long this attempt would also last.
"I'm a formless Doppelganger."
He started counting on his fingers. "No true body. No stats. No mana."
Another finger. "But I also can't be commanded, detected, or tracked."
He slowly raised his gaze.
"…I'm weak." Dramatic pause. "…But I'm weak in the wrong way."
A crooked smile began to form.
"If I have no status… then no one can measure me." He looked at his misty hands. "If no one can measure me… then no one knows how to kill me."
[Acceptable correlation.]
"And if I survive long enough…" He stared at the Imitation interface. "…I steal everything."
Silence.
The cave seemed to glow a little brighter, as if approving—or just finding it funny.
Gray snapped his fingers. No sound came out.
"…Alright. First objective." He lifted his chin. "Don't die to a magic rat."
Pause. "…Or a rock."
The system did not disagree.
Gray turned around, far more determined than someone who had no balance, no coordination, and absolutely no basic statistics justifying the fact that he was standing at all.
"Alright. Plan set. Don't die—"
His foot went straight through his own ankle.
"—WHO—"
It was fast. Too fast to react, too slow to look graceful.
Gray tripped over absolute nothing, lost his balance, leaned forward, and face-planted into the ground with a dull thud.
Except the ground… wasn't exactly ground.
CRACK.
Something hard, uneven, and extremely bony collided directly with his face.
Nose. Forehead. Dignity.
"—GH—"
The sound that came out of Gray's mouth wasn't pain. It was pure confusion, the kind that happens when the brain realizes something is very wrong but hasn't figured out what yet.
He froze for half a second.
Then it hit him.
"…Why does this have BONES?"
Gray slowly lifted his head.
Two empty sockets stared right back at him.
Too close.
A skeleton.
A complete skeleton, lying there as if it were taking a millennia-long nap, legs spread at an extremely offensive angle.
Gray blinked.
Blink.
Looked down at his position.
His face was exactly where someone's groin should be.
"…DID I JUST FACE-PLANT INTO THE THEORETICAL GROIN OF A SKELETON?!"
The skeleton, politely, did not respond.
Gray let out a muffled scream, shoved against the ground with way too much force—for someone with zero strength—and slid backward across the stone like a terrified shadow.
"NO NO NO NO NO—"
He only stopped when he slammed into a cluster of crystals, which chimed softly, as if they were laughing at him.
Gray stood there, panting. Or something close to that.
He pointed at the skeleton with a trembling finger.
"YOU—" deep breath. "—YOU WEREN'T HERE BEFORE."
The skeleton remained motionless. Dead. Very dead.
[Warning.]
Gray almost phased through the ceiling. "WHAT NOW?!"
The interface flickered. The letters rearranged themselves, as if the system had carefully chosen the worst possible moment to drop a bomb.
[Identification complete.]
[Race: Primordial Demon][State: Dead][Time of death: Irrelevant]
Gray looked at the skeleton. Then at the message. Then back at the skeleton. Then at the new message that appeared.
[Do you wish to copy the body of the Primordial Demon – ???][Warning: Compatibility unknown][Risk: EXTREME][Result: IRREVERSIBLE]
Silence.
Gray stood still for exactly three seconds.
Then he started laughing.
It wasn't a normal laugh. It was broken, hysterical, barely-breathing laughter, echoing through the crystal cave like he had finally lost the last scraps of sanity he had left.
"HA—HAHAHAHA—" He doubled over, clutching his misty abdomen. "I—I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS—"
He pointed at the skeleton, laughing so hard he could barely speak.
"I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE AS A BACKGROUND NPC—"
"—GOT RUN OVER—"
"—REINCARNATED WITH NO STATS—"
"—AND THE FIRST THING I DO—"
He sucked in a breath. "—IS FACE-PLANT INTO A FINAL BOSS?!"
The laughter came back even louder.
"HAHAHAHA! THIS IS A SIGN! THIS CAN ONLY BE A SIGN!"
He wiped away a nonexistent tear.
"First contact with another living being in this world…" He looked at the skeleton with ironic reverence. "…and it's already a dead Primordial Demon with its legs spread."
The narrator, honestly, had no way to argue with that.
Gray took a deep breath, straightened up, and stared at the floating window.
His smile was dangerous now.
"…System."
[Yes?]
"If this goes wrong…" Dramatic pause. "…at least it'll be funny as hell."
He raised his black mist hand, still trembling slightly—not from fear, but from sheer, absurd excitement. "Confirm."
...
Note: Well, he might seem like an idiot at first.... To be honest, I believe he starts to improve around chapter 5. I ask for a little patience!
The first chapters will be a bit longer.
Don't forget to add the work to your library and support me with Power Stones — it makes a big difference! Also, for every 300 Power Stones I will post an extra chapter!
I'm counting on you 💙