When death found her, she wasn't scared. She had lived under the shadow of death for her entire life, and so now that it was finally happening, in truth, she only felt relief. As the cold waters rushed down her lungs, she watched a summary of her entire pathetic life flash by her inner mind.
Born with an auto-immune disorder, her body had been fighting against her from day one. A childhood spent inside the hospital, trying to make do and play pretend with crayons inside, while the other healthy children ran around and played outside. Her parents had tried their best, but she had other siblings they had to look after. Over time, her mother and father grew more distant. They did not say it, but she could see it in their eyes. How much easier their life would have been, if she had not been born.
When she was 7, she had been permitted to join school, but in limited forms. She was also not allowed to sit close to her fellow classmates, and needed an assistant with her to monitor her at all times. Naturally, children found strange things to be strange, and as such, Lyra soon became isolated. No one hurt her physically, but she was not included, and willfully ignored. Throughout elementary, Lyra had not managed to make a single friend. It wasn't all that surprising. She couldn't run like the other kids, engage in sports, invite people over to her home. Not to mention that she often missed school, sometimes for months at a time, due to spats of sickness which left her hospitalized.
By the time High school came around, she had already made peace with her fate. This sorry excuse of existence was her life. Her free time was spent reading, and browsing the internet. She particularly came to enjoy the fantasy genre, and often found herself pretending she was the main character in these stories. How nice would it be, to go on an adventure with a healthy body and loyal companions, in a mystical and magical new world? But it was all just fantasy, in the end. And reality had a way to kick her when she was down.
First year of High school, and she was diagnosed with blood cancer. Or Leukemia, as it is also called. It was not the most aggressive form, but still very serious, especially given her already weakened body. She remembered how she cried, when she began loosing her hair. How much more would this cruel world take from her? But she had still returned to school the year after, still the school weirdo, still the girl no one spoke to. She didn't blame her classmates. Who would want to be friends with this frail and sickly girl who looked as if just a gust of wind could kill her?
The recalled that school had arranged for an excursion to a local museum on one of the days she had been present in class. She sat at the very front of the bus, like she always did. The least popular space, for some reason. All the children wanted to sit far in the back, something Lyra had never really understood. You couldn't see anything from back. Then again, they were always busy talking amongst themselves, giggling and laughing at jokes. But it was fine, Lyra was used to being excluded. Frankly, she quite enjoyed watching the winter scenery flash by. She had never even once left her hometown, so whenever she was allowed on school trips, it was quite the treat. That was, until the tires of the bus caught a large patch of slick ice as the bus came down the hill and towards the bridge that spanned the local creek.
When the bus ran through the railing and plunged towards the cold waters below, the others screamed, but not Lyra. Even as her body lurched against the seat belt as the bus slammed into the waters, she found herself oddly calm. And now here she was, submerged in the cold water. Her lungs screaming for air, and when she opened her mouth to breathe, only water came rushing down her throat. Her fingers clawed at her throat, more by reflex than conscious effort. She had always imagined dying, even since she was a small child. Still, this was not how she had imagined she would go. But it didn't matter. She was thankful. Finally, this sorry excuse of a life would finally be over.
She felt her consciousness fading, the numbness spreading through her body. Yes, finally... it was all... over...