(FLASHBACK)
Cecily still remembered that evening clearly,like it happened yesterday.
In the warm afternoon. The sky had been orange, the kind that made everything feel warm even when things were slowly but surely falling apart.
She stood by the bus stop waiting for Ethan to show up. Phone in hand, checking the time again and again.
Five minutes late.
She tried convincing herself that it was nothing.
Ethan always ran late these days,so maybe today was also one of those days.
She hugged her cardigan closer to her body as people walked past her. Couples. Friends. Even students who are returning from school, filled with that young fulfilled happiness.
Her phone buzzed.
She looked down quickly.
Ethan: "I'm almost there."
Sighing in relief,she whispered
"Of course,"
These days almost there had become his favorite phrase.
When Ethan finally arrived,he looked like someone that's ready to call it a day and just sleep. His tie was loose and his sleeves were rolled up. He looked tired. Looking different than she remembered him being when they first started dating.
"I'm sorry,"
He said immediately.
"I know I'm late."
Cecily nodded.
"It's fine."
But it wasn't. And they both know.
They walked side by side in silence for a few seconds before Ethan spoke again.
"How was your day?"
"Busy,"
Cecily replied.
"You?"
"Same,"
He said. "Work's been crazy."
She stopped walking.
Noticing it, Ethan turned to look at her.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
She hesitated.
Sighing she finally says.
"You always say that."
Feeling confused,he frowned.
"Say what?"
"That work is crazy,"
She replied. "Every day. Every time."
He rubbed the back of his neck.
"I mean… it is."
"I know," she said softly. "But so is everything else."
Ethan didn't respond immediately.
They continued walking, but the space between them felt heavier and tensed l.
They reached a small park and sat on a bench. This used to be their place. Where they talked about dreams, about the future, about everything.
Now, it felt unfamiliar.
Cecily broke the silence.
"Do you still want this?" she asked quietly.
Looking at her,he says.
"Want what?"
"Us."
The word hung between them.
Ethan exhaled slowly.
"Of course I do."
She turned to face him.
"Then why does it feel like I'm the only one holding on?"
"That's not fair," he said.
"Isn't it?" she asked.
He looked away.
"I'm trying, Cecily."
"I know you are,"
She replied. "But trying isn't the same as being present."
He clenched his jaw.
"You think I don't care?"
"I think you care," she said. "Just… from far away."
That hurt him,more than he cared to admit.
"You know I love you," Ethan said.
She nodded.
"I know you do."
"But?"
He says, cause he knew more words were coming.
"But love shouldn't feel this lonely."
Ethan didn't know what to say to that.
He reached for her hand, but she pulled it back gently.
"I miss you,"
She continued. "Even when you're right beside me."
"That's not my fault,"
He said quietly.
"I didn't say it was," she replied.
"But it's still happening."
Silence again.
The afternoon wind passed between them.
Ethan finally spoke.
"I'm under a lot of pressure."
"So am I," Cecily said.
"But you don't see it," he replied.
"Because you don't let me," she said back.
He looked at her then. Really looked.
Her eyes were tired. Not angry. Just tired.
"When did this get so hard?" he asked.
She smiled sadly.
"When we stopped talking."
"We're talking now," he said.
"No," she replied. "We're arguing."
That stung deep.
He stood up and paced a little.
"What do you want me to do?" he asked.
"I want you to choose me," Cecily said.
"I did," he said quickly.
"No," she shook her head.
"I want you to choose me every day. Not when it's convenient."
Stopped pacing. He looked at her.
"You're asking for too much."
Her chest tightened.
"So I'm too much now?"
"You know that's not what I meant."
"But that's what it sounds like."
She stood up too.
"Maybe we're just in different places,"
Ethan said.
"Maybe," she agreed.
"But it feels like you're already halfway gone."
He swallowed.
"That's not true."
"Then stay," she said.
"I am here."
"No," she whispered. "Stay emotionally."
He had no answer.
Her voice shook.
"I don't want to beg you to love me."
"You're not begging," he said, while feeling overwhelmed from the conversation.
"I feel like I am."
She looked away, blinking back tears.
"I remember when you used to call me just to hear my voice," she said.
"I remember," he replied.
"You used to ask about my day and actually listen."
"I still listen."
"Not like before."
The truth sat between them.
Ethan finally said what he had been avoiding to say since.
"I don't know if I can be what you need right now."
Her heart dropped.
"So that's it?"
"I didn't say that."
"But you're thinking it."
He didn't deny it.
Cecily laughed softly, sadly.
"I've been feeling this for months," she said.
"I just didn't want to say it out loud."
"I never wanted to hurt you," Ethan said.
"I know."
"But I did," he whispered.
"Yes," she replied. "You did."
They stood there, facing each other, both hurting in different ways.
"I love you," Ethan said again.
She nodded.
"I love you too."
That was the problem.
Love wasn't enough anymore.
"I think we need space," he said finally.
Her chest tightened again.
"Space," she repeated.
"Just for now."
She looked at him.
"For how long?"
That was one thing he didn't know.
"I don't know."
She nodded slowly.
"Okay."
That was it.
No shouting.
No dramatic goodbye.
Just two people realizing they were slipping.
As they walked away from each other that night, Cecily didn't know it would be the beginning of the end.
She only knew that something precious had cracked.
And cracks had a way of growing when ignored.