Cecily didn't sleep again.
She lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling like it might suddenly answer her questions if she looked hard enough. The room felt unfamiliar now. Not because anything had changed physically, but because Liam wasn't there. And it broke her.
The space beside her stayed untouched.
Empty.
She turned to her side, pressing her face into the pillow that still carried his scent. That clean, familiar smell made her chest ache.
"I messed everything up," she whispered to no one.
Her phone lay on the bedside table.
She hadn't checked it since Ethan's last message.
"Do you want to video call??"
She had said no.
And he had respected it.
That alone scared her more than if he had pushed for it.
The morning light crept in slowly, dull and grey. Cecily finally forced herself out of bed when the alarm rang for the third time. Her body felt heavy, like it was resisting every movement she made.
She showered, but the water did nothing to calm her thoughts nor her mind.
Liam's words replayed in her head.
"I won't beg to be chosen."
She dressed slowly, barely paying attention to what she wore. By the time she left for work, she already felt exhausted, like she'd lived an entire day before it even started.
At work, Cecily existed on autopilot.
She nodded when spoken to. Typed when she had to. Smiled when expected.
But her mind was far away. In place she didn't want it to be.
Every quiet moment pulled her back to memories she tried so hard to bury.
Ethan's laugh.
The way he used to call her "Cece" when he wanted her attention.
The unanswered messages from years ago.
She shook her head slightly, trying to clear the thoughts.
"No," she whispered. "Not now."
During lunch break, she sat alone, pushing food around her plate without eating much. Her phone buzzed softly.
Her heart jumped before she even looked.
It wasn't Ethan.
It was Liam.
A message.
"I hope work is okay today."
She stared at the screen for a long time before replying.
"It's fine. I hope you're okay too."
Three dots appeared.
Disappeared.
Appeared again.
"I'm managing." He finally replied.
That was it.
No hearts. No "I miss you." No warmth.
Just distance.
And she understood why.
She put the phone face down and swallowed the lump in her throat.
Later that evening, Cecily returned to the apartment alone.
The silence greeted her like an unwanted guest.
She dropped her bag by the door and stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do next. Normally, she would call out Liam's name without thinking.
This time, she didn't.
She cooked something simple but barely touched it. After cleaning up, she sat on the couch, hugging a pillow to her chest.
Her phone buzzed again.
Ethan.
She hesitated.
Then unlocked it.
Ethan:
"I hope today wasn't too heavy??"
Her chest tightened.
She typed slowly.
Cecily:
"It was… long."
His reply came a few minutes later.
Ethan:
"I figured."
She stared at the screen.
So many things sat unsaid between those short messages.
She didn't want to open doors she wasn't ready to walk through.
But silence felt worse.
Cecily:
"Liam moved out… temporarily."
There was a longer pause this time.
Her heart raced while she waited.
Ethan:
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to be the reason things got harder."
That sentence hit her unexpectedly.
Cecily:
"You didn't force anything. The feelings were already there."
Another pause.
Ethan:
"That doesn't make it easier to accept."
She exhaled slowly.
Cecily:
"I don't know what I'm doing anymore."
She regretted sending it almost immediately.
But it was true.
His response came gently.
Ethan:
"Then don't rush to decide. Just breathe."
Tears blurred her vision.
He was still far away.
Different country.
Different time zone.
And yet… he felt closer than the man she had built a life with.
That realization scared her.
She set the phone down and leaned back, staring at the ceiling again.
"When did everything become so complicated?" she whispered to no one in particular.
That night, Cecily dreamed of the past.
She was younger. Happier. Sitting on the edge of her bed with her phone in her hands, staring at unread messages that never came.
She woke up with tears on her cheeks.
Her phone buzzed at the same moment.
Ethan again.
Ethan:
"Did I wake you??"
She wiped her face quickly.
Cecily:
"No. I was already awake."
Ethan:
"I couldn't sleep."
She let out a small, humorless laugh.
Cecily:
"Seems like neither of us can."
There was something comforting in that shared restlessness.
Ethan:
"Do you ever think about that time? When everything went quiet between us??"
Her fingers hovered over the keyboard.
That was dangerous territory.
But she answered anyway.
Cecily:
"All the time."
Another pause.
Ethan:
"I thought you left because you stopped caring."
Her breath caught.
Cecily:
"I left because I cared too much."
Silence.
Longer this time.
Then...
Ethan:
"I waited for you to say something."
Her chest tightened painfully.
Cecily:
" I did. You never replied."
Three dots appeared.
Stopped.
Appeared again.
Ethan:
"I never got them."
Her heart pounded.
Cecily:
"What do you mean?"
Ethan:
"I changed my number that year. Lost access to my old email. I thought you disappeared."
Her hands trembled.
That misunderstanding.
That silence.
Years of pain built on something so fragile.
Cecily:
"I cried myself to sleep for months."
She didn't know why she admitted that.
Maybe because it felt safe now.
Ethan:
"I'm sorry, he replied. If I had known…"
She closed her eyes.
Cecily:
"We can't change it."
Ethan:
"I know."
But his next message said more.
Ethan:
"But it explains why this still hurts."
She hugged her knees to her chest.
He wasn't here.
He wasn't touching her.
And yet, he was pulling at wounds she thought had healed.
The next few days passed slowly.
Liam didn't come home.
They exchanged polite messages. Short calls. Nothing deep.
Cecily felt like she was walking on thin ice.
Every decision felt heavy.
At work, she made small mistakes she normally wouldn't. Her mind drifted constantly. Even her friends noticed the change.
"You look tired," one of them said gently.
"I am," Cecily replied honestly.
She didn't mention that the tiredness wasn't physical.
It was emotional.
That evening, Liam called.
She answered immediately.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey," he replied. His voice sounded distant but calm.
"How was your day?"
"Busy," he said. "Yours?"
"The same."
Silence stretched between them.
"I miss you," she finally said.
He exhaled slowly.
"I miss you too."
The pause that followed was heavy.
"But I can't pretend everything is fine," he added.
"I know."
"I just… I need to know that if we keep going, I'm not competing with a ghost."
Her throat tightened.
"He's not a ghost," she whispered.
"I know," Liam replied quietly. "That's the problem."
Tears filled her eyes.
"I don't want to lose you," she said.
"Then be sure," he replied gently. "Because half-love will break us both."
They ended the call shortly after.
Cecily sat there for a long time, phone pressed to her ear even after the line went dead.
That night, she didn't message Ethan.
She needed space.
She needed clarity.
But clarity refused to come.
Instead, memories surfaced.
Flash images of a younger Cecily standing at an airport.
Of unanswered calls.
Of promises whispered into the night.
She curled into herself, feeling small.
"I'm so tired," she whispered.
The following weekend, Cecily visited her mother.
The familiar warmth of home helped a little.
They sat in the kitchen, sipping tea.
"You look troubled," her mother said softly.
Cecily sighed.
"I don't know how to choose the right thing anymore."
Her mother studied her for a moment.
"Sometimes," she said, "the right thing doesn't feel peaceful. It just feels honest."
Cecily swallowed.
"What if honesty hurts everyone?"
"Then at least it won't hurt forever," her mother replied.
Those words stayed with her.
That night, back in her apartment, Cecily checked her phone.
A message from Ethan waited.
Ethan:
"I didn't want to push. Just wanted you to know I'm here."
She stared at it.
Then typed.
Cecily:
"I'm scared."
His reply came quickly.
Ethan:
"Of what?"
She hesitated.
Then told the truth.
Cecily:
"Of choosing wrong again."
There was a pause.
Then....
Ethan:
"Whatever you choose, I don't want it to be out of guilt or fear. Just… be real."
Her eyes filled with tears.
That was the problem.
Being real meant admitting things she wasn't ready to face.
She put the phone down and leaned back.
Outside, the city lights glowed.
Life moved forward.
But Cecily stayed suspended.
Between a past that refused to stay buried.
And a present that demanded answers.
She didn't know what chapter came next in her life.
All she knew was that the silence between choices was the loudest thing she had ever heard.
And it was slowly breaking her. Hard.