Garfield turned his head~ and clamped his legs together.
No. No, no, no... that can't be who I think it is.
There she stood, robed in flowing yellow, her bald head gleaming like a freshly waxed bowling ball under the morning sun.
Ancient One.
The bald gatekeeper of reality. The multiverse bouncer. The grandmaster of spiritual backhand slaps.
Why is she here?
Did I accidentally trigger a catpocalypse timeline? Do they think I'm a demonic entity from the Dark Dimension?
Am I about to get... humanely erased?!
Garfield's survival instincts went catwire!
Act dumb. Pretend you're just a regular, adorable, emotionally unhinged cat.
He lowered his body, widened his eyes, and let out the most shameless sounds known to felines…
"Meow~ Meow~ Mmmmeow~"
Three humiliating meows with his tail curled like a question mark.
Dignity… deleted.
The Ancient One raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into the faintest smile.
"If you were really a cat." She said calmly. "Those meows wouldn't be so... theatrical. You don't even want to know why you became like this?"
Garfield flinched. Abort cuteness. Switch to denial mode.
"H-Ha! I'm just a normal cat! Yep. We meow! That's what we do! I swear, on the sun!" He jabbed a paw toward the blinding sky, puffing out his chest.
"Then go on." The Ancient One glanced up at the sun with a flat expression.
"Swear."
"Wait a minute." Garfield tilted his head. "You... you can understand cat?"
"No." She replied with a smile. "I'm speaking directly to your soul."
Garfield's entire body deflated like a punctured balloon. He sat down, lifted his front paws like prayer hands, and bowed.
"Oh Great Supreme Sorcerer, oh mighty protector of the realms, oh benevolent bald one… please, please send me home. Being a cat is agony. I miss chicken skewers."
"I miss having thumbs!!"
The Ancient One didn't answer. She simply turned, drew a glowing circle in the air, and opened a golden portal.
"Kamar-Taj."
"We'll talk there." Without waiting for him, she stepped through the portal.
Garfield blinked. Wait… she didn't say she wouldn't dissect me for study… or trap me in a soul prism... or send me to Dormammu as tribute.
He glanced behind him, twitching his tail nervously.
Just then, a familiar voice boomed from inside the manor.
"Quick! Cook another steak!" Philip the butler shouted. A second later, more menacing.
"And whoever stole the last one? I swear, I'll personally shove the replacement steak up their~!"
"…" Garfield's ears flattened, he looked at his tail.
Then at the kitchen window.
Then at the spot where the Ancient One had been.
Okay yeah, time to go.
He nodded solemnly. "You know what? A walk around Kamar-Taj sounds like a fantastic cultural experience."
With that, Garfield scampered toward the portal like a fluffy orange bullet, muttering under his breath.
"Yup. Definitely better than having ribeye forcibly introduced to my digestive tract… in reverse."
✦••┈┈••✦••┈┈••✦
Nestled deep within the Himalayan mountains, shrouded in swirling mist and timeless magic, it was a place of legend. A utopia of sorcery and secrets.
Garfield remembered a few scraps of lore from when he binge-read American comics online.
The story went that "Kamar-Taj" was named after a humble village where the Ancient One and her friend Karu first uncovered the mysteries of the arcane.
From there, she built a dream, a sanctum of learning, of power, of peace.
Then came centuries of conflict, battles with demons, and defense of Earth across dimensions. Over 500 years as the Sorcerer Supreme.
Pretty cool resume, Garfield admitted. Ten out of ten on the "Do Not Annoy" scale.
When Garfield emerged from the portal, he found himself not in some flashy magic arena but a tranquil, elegant tea room, far from the chaotic room where Doctor Strange once had his soul punched out.
Garfield's paws padded softly on polished wood as he wandered, sniffing the air.
The Ancient One sat on a woven futon, her hands gracefully preparing a pot of tea. Every movement, washing, steeping, pouring, was smooth and meditative.
Garfield, for once, didn't interrupt. No meows.
He quietly took a seat across from her, folding his tail around his paws. He knew this was not the moment for sarcasm.
His heightened feline senses went wild.
With over 24 billion olfactory cells, compared to a human's paltry 500 million, Garfield could dissect every scent in the room.
Rain-soaked soil... a girl's soft perfume... fresh tea leaves kissed by morning dew... great tea, the finest. And the water? Melted Himalayan snow…
In his mind's eye, Garfield could see it all, a girl in a tea garden, her laughter carried by mountain wind, plucking leaves with delicate fingers. He smelled sunlight on her skin.
The cool mist of glacier water slowly pooling into streams.
Drip
A line of drool slid down Garfield's chin and hit the floor.
"…"
"Ah, sorry!" Hastily wiping his mouth with his tail. "I got... swept up in the moment."
The Ancient One smiled gently and offered him a small cup. "Your body is more than just a cat's."
"That vision wasn't imagination, it came from within you."
Garfield hesitated, then dipped his head and lapped the tea. His tongue, lined with over 200 sensitive taste buds, flared with delight.
Earthy. Sweet. Pure.
He couldn't stop.
Slurp
Slosh
Lick.
He went full beast mode, tongue diving into the cup like it owed him rent.
When the final drop was gone, Garfield sat back, dazed and euphoric. He licked his paw reflexively…
Wait... did I just...
He stared at his paw like it had betrayed him.
No. I'm Garfield. Emperor of food. Glutton Supreme. I don't lose control over a cup of leaf water!
Desperately trying to pretend none of that happened, he straightened his posture and coughed awkwardly. "So, uh... Mighty Supreme Mage... what exactly am I?"
Ancient One gave no answer, only reached into thin air and pulled a floating book from the void.
It opened on its own, pages rustling until it landed on a spread filled with runes and suddenly an image of a Mighty Ancient Creature!
A... cat.
"Ahhh?"
"Oh."
Beneath the image, glowing text translated itself for Garfield's eyes:
Devourer Beast (Flerken)
One of the most terrifying entities in the universe. Feline in appearance. Stomach contains a pocket dimension, a separate universe. Capable of swallowing massive objects.
Further abilities: Unknown.
Garfield glanced between the book... and his own reflection in a nearby teacup.
Eyes wide, he pointed at the book with a trembling paw. "Y-You're telling me... I'm that? I'm a freaking Devourer?!"
Ancient One shook her head calmly.
"You possess part of a Devourer Beast's essence." She explained.
"They are blind, relying on scent. You, clearly, are not. And more importantly, there's something else inside you."
"Something... foreign."
Garfield's ears twitched. Something else?
Then he remembered.
The System.
That annoying, broadcast-happy, possibly sentient piece of cosmic spyware.
His fur bristled. "Do you, do you know what it is?"
꧁𓊈𒆜༺⚜༻𒆜𓊉꧂
Phantom your way through a treasure trove of chapters waiting on P@treon!
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