So…
You lot are probably wondering what happened after I caused a mass cave-in, right?
No?
Well, considering how I'm monologuing this section, it's clear I survived, right?
Fine…
I'll give you the short version, and we can get on with the next misadventure.
After I blew up the crystal, everything came crashing down, literally.
I poured a few shots into the Detonite cluster and the thing blew up in an instant, lighting up the cave in a mix of crackling green and fiery orange blaze.
Crystals, rocks and ores fell from the sky and squashed the goblin miners to death.
The critters ran all over the place, desperate to escape the disaster, but their uncoordinated, selfish instincts of self-preservation only served to hinder them.
Even in the face of imminent death, they bickered and fought one another.
They bit, clawed, hit and shoved.
Goblins died one after another.
Some were crushed by falling crystals or ores, others fell down the ravine and some were trampled underfoot by brethren also wishing to escape.
All around me are the sounds of screaming and falling debris.
It seems the explosion was too effective. A large, turquoise, crystal pillar skewers the ground right next to me.
One look at the pillar in the ground sends me running.
Hopping off her perch, Alin follows behind and catches up to me. Together we scamper up the tunnel we came through in a frantic attempt to escape the mass cave-in.
Unfortunately, the explosion I caused was more powerful than Alin and I had ever envisioned.
Two steps into the tunnel and rocks are falling all around us, threatening to give us a lethal concussion before we can die from suffocation.
Left with no other options, I use my new spell, Glyph of Protection.
I hold my hand above us and shout out, "Glyph of Protection!"
A large glowing green symbol appears above our heads. I care little for its appearance beyond its function.
Under the cover of this spell, we continue frantically running up the hill.
Rocks bounce off the glyphs as we desperately escape the underground disaster we caused.
Reminds me of the scene from that paranormal series where a girl was running through a collapsing mental dreamscape with a Kate Bush song playing in the background.
Pretty good song, but I enjoyed the meme of WWII soldiers storming Normandy more.
Now I get to live through the experience myself.
Instead of charging through a hail of bullets, I'm running from a cave-in.
Quite frankly, it was fucking hell.
I'm so sorry for making fun of Americans for being obese.
But being sorry doesn't solve anything.
As we continue to run, the cave keeps collapsing further and further.
Up and up we ran. Our lungs, more specifically my lungs, ached. They scream for me to stop running, to slow my pace and catch my breath.
Then the stitches kick in. Each step I take makes me wince in agony.
Luckily, the tunnel doesn't collapse immediately, so we have some leeway- but not much.
Bit by bit, we grew ever closer, in the last stretch of ground
'Phew!'
The moment we see the exit, we throw ourselves at the ground.
'Cough!' 'Cough!'
We cough out our lungs from the dust and lay on our backs, at least I did.
Alin is being a lot less dramatic than me. Her back simply stooped over and she put her hands on her thighs.
Apparently, her definition of weariness is just panting slightly.
"I thought we were goners."
"And I thought you said you only knew Appraisal and that Mote spell."
"Just learned it. Didn't think I'd use it at once."
"Since when?"
"After killing those goblins."
She stares at me, "What sort of spellcaster are you? The average wizard takes a month to learn a new spell."
I don't bother to reply, I have no idea how the magic system works in this world. Alin drops the subject and focuses on recovering her stamina.
Having successfully escaped the cave-in, we take a few minutes to catch our breath.
After we've gotten our bearings, we grab an unconscious Serena, drag the corpses of Kael and Eric behind us, and go back to the ride waiting for us.
Want to know about how the work is split?
Alin, being the same gender as Serena, is responsible for giving the priestess a piggyback.
I am stuck dragging the corpses behind me.
Eric barely weighs anything, no surprises there.
Kael, on the other hand… Let's just say, you don't want to be in charge of carrying the corpse of a fighter unless you're a barbarian or fighter yourself.
We lugged the two corpses and an unconscious priestess to the cart.
The driver takes one look at us and mumbles, "My condolences," before whipping the donkey and getting the carriage started.
I have a feeling he was going to say, "How did the adventure go?" if he didn't notice the bodies earlier.
The journey was quiet throughout, a stark contrast to the beginning of the adventure.
When I set out with them earlier, the last thing I envisioned was them turning into corpses before the day was over.
Upon our arrival at Tros, we reported the results of the extermination to the Guild, as well as the colony we discovered and the crystal caverns buried beneath its ruins.
With the Kael and Eric dead and Serena out of commission, our party is considered disbanded.
Not like I was close with them in the slightest.
Though I definitely won't be going on big adventures anytime soon. Not that goblin slaying counts as a big adventure.
Actually, we did kill like several hundred goblins and uncovered a large crystal cavern/ravine, but that's besides the point.
Whatever.
On the bright side, we did earn quite a bit. We were compensated with seventy-five silver for reportedly destroying the goblin colony. The guild promises to give us the rest of our dues after they've dispatched another team to locate and investigate the collapsed caverns.
With the hectic request pretty much wrapped up, I had no further business in the outpost.
I said my goodbyes to Alin. We half-heartedly promised each other we'd see one another in the future.
Okay, that should be everything, but I feel like I'm forg-
Right! How could I forget the bodies!
Now, what did we do with the corpses of our former companions?
Did we give them a makeshift burial? Send them to a church? Sell their organs and belongings to a graverobber?
Nah, we just handed them over to the guild.
From the freckled receptionist with either a speech impediment or serious social anxiety issues, I learned that they actually offer basic funeral services for low prices.
It surprised me, although it makes a lot of sense the more I think about it.
Adventurers throw their lives away all the time for the promise of wealth and fame.
Not much of a surprise if death tolls are high. I mean, this is a fantasy world for crying out loud.
Anyways, I'm back at the ranch, my back against a tree in the field.
'Phew!'
I'm feeling beat.