"To be fair, I always thought he was a piece of shit."
Hazel tipped back the shot glass, grimacing at the taste of whiskey. She shook her head and dropped the glass back on the table, narrowing her eyes at Brynn. "You couldn't have told me that before I found him balls deep in my cousin?"
Brynn gave an exaggerated shudder and took a long draw of the tequila in her glass, mumbling out, "Why climb the same tree, man? Pick a different tree."
"Would you have listened if we said something sooner?" Hazel shifted her eyes to Jaslyn. Jaslyn gave her a pointed look, eyebrows raised. Lifting the hand holding her glass, she pointed accusingly and said, "I love you, but you're stubborn. You dig in your heels on the weirdest things. Imagine if we told you that Sean gave us bad vibes when we met him. You'd already been seeing him for weeks at that point."
"Also a red flag!" Brynn piped in before going back to her drink.
Hazel groaned, forehead smacking the table. Shifting to where she could see the other two women, she honestly replied, "Probably not." Hazel squeezed her eyes shut and willed the burning sensation behind her eyelids to go away. It's just the whiskey, she told herself. Just the whiskey.
The day started out well enough. Having a career in graphic design meant most days, she got to spend her mornings at home in her pajamas. Others, like this morning, Hazel would need to emerge from her cozy little apartment for a face to face consultation. Clients wanted to see an in-progress product, ask questions and suggest alternatives. The alternatives were rarely included in the final product, but Hazel had to grin her customer service smile and at least listen.
Today turned out to be a customer service smile day when the owner of a small flower shop kept suggesting conflicting themes for her logo and pamphlet. So needless to say, by the time the consultation was over, she needed a glass of wine and a hug.
The detour from the apartment Hazel rented to the one her boyfriend, Sean, lived in was small enough that she didn't even think twice about making it.
Using the spare key Sean gave her a few months back, Hazel opened the door and let it click shut behind her. She gripped the bag holding wine and toed her shoes off.
Music drifted from Sean's room, a commonplace occurrence, and she smiled. "Good. I'd hoped he would be here." Setting down the bag on the counter, Hazel made her way to the bedroom, ready for a good afternoon of cuddling and making out. She needed every ounce of dopamine she could get after dealing with the clients she'd been forced to sit across from all day.
Hazel swung open the door. And stopped dead in her tracks. Music drowned out her entrance but there was no mistaking the vibrant red hair laying on the bed, Sean kneeling between her legs.
"Jessica?!"
Hazels' cousin yelped, sitting up. Sean threw himself off the naked woman and turned to stare at the doorway, his eyes wide. They both seemed to be at a loss for words, which Hazel assumed would be rather normal for the current situation. She really didn't know what to say either.
Frozen, Hazel looked between the two adults who felt the need to sneak around behind her back. Clearing her throat, Hazel stepped over to the bluetooth speaker playing and turned it off.
Silence tore through the room and Hazel took a long breath. "Well," she started, "I suppose I don't need to ask what's going on here." Ignoring the adults strewn across the bed, Hazel threw open the closet door. Yanking the hoodies she left there off the hangers, she picked up a stray pair of shoes in the bottom of the closet and shut the door. Without looking at the two, she turned and walked out the door, calling out, "The key's on the counter, asshole." Metal clanged against the countertop as Hazel dropped the key and picked up the bag with the wine instead.
Jessica didn't try to shout excuses. And Sean didn't come rushing after her. That almost hurt more.
The door to the bedroom was still open and she could hear whispers being exchanged. Whether they were conjuring up a story or deciding the next position to resume their activities in, Hazel didn't care. She slipped back into her shoes and opened the apartment door, stepping outside.
Just like that, her relationship was over. Dead. The crippling pain she read about in books wasn't there. Instead, her chest felt . . . empty. Steadying herself with a breath, Hazel steeled herself. Later, she thought. The breakdown can come later.
By the time she made it to her car, Hazel had her phone in her hand and a message typed out to the group chat.
Code Dumbass
Which led to where she was now. Well on her way to being drunk, live music in the background and her two best friends sitting across from her. Hazel didn't get into relationships often. She had too many hobbies, too many thoughts, and too much energy. Having ADHD never really felt like a burden or a problem. Hazel was just a little less focused than other people. The whole neurodivergent class of people steadily came from the woodwork with the assistance of social media. She wasn't alone.
But the potential boyfriends (and the almost girlfriend when she was questioning herself) all had very similar stories.
She was too much. Too much energy. Too much emotion. Too much distraction. Too much focus. Too much of, well, everything. Hazel gave her all. But the obsessions had a way of phasing out other things in her life and it shook the potential partners right off. Many times, she'd heard, Your obsession with me is going to end sooner or later too. And they would be gone, just like that.
Sean had lasted longer than she anticipated, but it ended all the same. Except…
"That bastard is the one who got bored of his obsession," Hazel yelled, finishing the inside monologue out loud. Several eyes turned towards them and the bartender narrowed his eyes.
"Okay, that's enough for you." Jaslyn stretched over the table and grabbed Hazels' glass, sliding it out of reach. "Look, I want you to have a clear head when you torch all the shirts he left at your place. So stop here and let's have a nice, cathartic anime movie session at your apartment, okay?"
Brynn was already gathering her items, the tequila finished, and tip on the table. She smiled, the softhearted nature coming out. "I'm thinking cookies. We can stop by the store on the way home, yeah?" She pulled out her phone and Hazel knew she would be texting her husband, giving him a heads up on how late she would be.
Maybe she wouldn't go home at all. Hazel wouldn't mind having a sleepover. Being alone in her apartment didn't feel like the best way to end the day; having the company of her friends would be a welcome feeling. While Hazel felt a little bad about taking Brynn away from her husband and daughter for the night, well . . . it was just one night. And she really didn't want to be alone.
Hazel stared at the table as Jaslyn and Brynn got themselves together, feeling a little numb and more than a little sad. She could see it in their faces, as much as they wanted to hide it. It was impossible to ignore the worry they carried. And she hated worrying them, even as she relished in having friends who cared so much. She didn't want them thinking she couldn't take care of a little heartbreak.
So she forced a small smile and nodded. "Yeah, let's go." Hazel stood up, grabbing her messenger bag and pulling the strap over her head. Sliding her phone out of her pocket, she added, "I'll call for a ride."
See? Responsible.
The three women headed outside and for not the first time, Hazel was thankful the two were in her life.
Hazel felt like Brynn could mostly be blamed for their friendship that began in a tattoo parlor. Jaslyn worked as a piercer at the parlor and it just so happened that the same day she was stabbing a needle through Hazels' ear, Brynn walked through the doors with an appointment for fresh ink.
The piercing Hazel selected for the day, a tragus, nearly KO'ed her. Despite her experience in getting needled, something about it made her dizzy and lightheaded.
As Hazel tumbled into a seat after receiving her care instructions, head between her knees and a throbbing appendage, someone tapped her on the shoulder.
Brynn, in all her tattooed arm and shaved sides glory, shoved a granola bar and a can of soda into her hands. "You literally look like you're going to pass out. Take this and chill for a moment, okay?"
Still feeling a little dazed, Hazel just nodded and under the watchful eye of this stranger, did as she was told. She was in no condition to drive at the moment, anyways.
When Jaslyn came out to check on Hazel, Brynn took the liberty of complimenting her piercings and tattoos and well, the rest is history.
Brynn passed out her phone number to Hazel and Jaslyn and insisted they meet up for lunch somewhere. Jaslyn and Hazel couldn't think of any real reason to object and so, they didn't.
After the first time hanging out and eating lunch together, it became clear they had much more in common than first assumed.
Hazel was single at the time, Jaslyn had her stray dog, and Brynn had her husband and daughter. The three of them exchanged frustrations and laughs. The group chat log grew to ridiculous proportions. And the three women were officially inseparable.
"Hazel? Dude, you alright?"
Brynn waved her hand in front of Hazels' face, startling her. Hazel jerked back and blinked, shaking her head. "No, yeah, I'm good. Our Uber will be here soon. We'll have to get another after we're done at the store though."
Brynn raised an eyebrow. "You seem a little out of it."
Hazel shrugged and slumped against Jaslyn, eyes slipping shut. Jaslyn patted her on the head absentmindedly, scrolling through her own phone as they waited for their ride. The sounds of the city filtered through the streets, music trailing from the bars and vehicles cruising down the lane. Late as it was, it all gave a scenic and calming vibe.
Brynn swayed in place, shoulders moving to a song playing in her mind and stared up at the sky. "There are literally no stars here and I hate it," she complained. "I want stars."
"We all want things," Jaslyn replied casually, Hazel letting out a bark of laughter. Brynn flipped Jaslyn the bird, a shit-eating grin on her face.
While they began their friendly bickering match, Hazel stood up straight, eyes straining with effort. The alcohol from the night had settled by that point, leaving her feeling a little fuzzy and with a bit of tingling in her fingers the way it always did.
Her gaze panned the street, taking in the little shops. She came to this bar quite often with Jaslyn and Brynn. It was tucked away on the edges of the downtown area, compact and surrounded by small businesses of different natures. A tattoo shop which boasted floral designs, a hole in the wall cafe, and . . . wait.
Hazel squinted, and once she confirmed the sighting, she jumped up, excited. "Guys! Check it out!" Jaslyn and Brynn stopped mid-squabble, the conversation having switched to proper pasta creating methods at some point, and followed where Hazel pointed.
"Huh. Has that bookshop been there long?" Brynn asked, her eyebrows drawing low in concentration. "I thought I would remember but . . ."
"No, no. That is definitely new," Jaslyn replied, already scooting down the block to get a better view.
Hazel, never one to let a bookstore pass uninspected, darted into the street with the intent of investigating.
"Hazel!" Jaslyn yelled, affronted, offended, and annoyed all at once. "Get out of the road! What the hell, dude? You can't just run into the street!"
"I can and I did!" Hazel sing-songed over her shoulder, stepping up and onto the curb in front of the bookshop.
"I swear to god, I am putting a leash on her," she heard Jaslyn promise threateningly.
Footsteps sounded behind her and Hazel peered over her shoulder with a grin. "You'll have to catch and hold me down to do that, you know."
"True," Brynn nodded solemnly. "Not that it will be hard if I'm helping her put the leash on, you goof." Brynn glared at Hazel, who held her hands up in surrender.
Jaslyn was already walking up the door, surprise coloring her features. "It's still open."
"What?"
Jaslyn gestured to the hours printed on the glass. "It's open. It's apparently open until midnight."
Hazel frowned and pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans. 11:26PM. "Well, then let's go."
Looking up and down the street, Brynn asked, "What about the Uber? Won't we miss it?"
Hazel waved away the concern, already pulling open the door. "We have, like, fifteen minutes. It's all good."
"You've met us, right?" Jaslyn asked, amused. "In fact, you've met yourself, haven't you? We aren't going to be out of here in fifteen minutes." The truth in her statement didn't prevent her from following Hazel and Brynn into the store, but at least she verbalized it.
Hazel stopped as soon as she entered the shop, feeling a shiver race down her spine. Bookstores always filled her with a sense of magic. The smaller and more indie the store was, though, the feeling of a fantasy come to life got stronger.
Here, though, Hazel could almost taste the tang of magic in the air, could feel it zinging through her fingers. The alcohol could definitely be to blame, but the feeling propelled her through the stacks all the same. The three women split off, going down different aisles. Despite how small the shop looked from the storefront, it was rather large on the inside. Books were shoved in what felt like no particular order on the shelves, only put into genre categories. The industrial style light bulbs hanging from the ceiling only added to the wonder.
Hazel ran her fingers over the spines of the books, feeling the texture and breathed deep. She would need to add this store to one she frequented more often. She wandered with no purpose or intent, satisfied to navigate the bookshelves with instinct alone. With a start, Hazel realized she could no longer hear her friends. Frowning, she turned around and looked behind her down the aisle. It felt so much longer than it did at first.
"Hazel?"
Hazel whirled, finding Brynn behind her. Motherly concern slid across the face of her friend and Brynn held the back of her hand to Hazels' forehead and cheeks. "Are you feeling alright? You look flushed."
Working to get the gears working in her brain again, Hazel slowly nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm fine. I think I'm still a little tipsy," she admitted. Truth be told, her mind was cloudy and foggy. It had gotten worse over the past few minutes.
Brynn nodded. "Okay, well maybe we should get going. The ride should be here soon, right?" Hazel nodded in confirmation. "Then let's find Jaslyn and get out of here."
Brynn and Hazel stalked through the shelves, peering down each one in turn as they hunted for their friend. "Y'know, this place didn't look so huge before," Brynn admitted with confusion. "I feel like we've been walking for ten minutes already."
Hazel nodded in agreement. An anxious feeling welled up inside of her, trepidation mixed with excitement. Without thinking about it, Hazel once again stretched her fingers out to stroke along the spines of the books she passed.
Her steps stuttered as her finger tips slid across a leathery volume, the lines on the side embossed. Hazel stopped and gripped the book, sliding it from its snug spot. She held it in both of her hands, the weight of the pages filling her palms. The cover was mostly blank. An outline of mountains, with a diadem circling the highest peak, filled a gold foiled oval. The entire drawing was embossed.
However, the one thing lacking was a title.
Frowning, Hazel turned over the volume in her hands, searching for any indication of the title or author. Nothing.
"There you are," Jaslyn's voice came from behind her, sounding rather annoyed.
"She's obsessed with this book right now. But we need to go."
The words mostly fell on deaf ears. In fact, their voices almost sounded dulled, underwater, faraway. She opened the front cover, scanning the pages. Still no title. No title, no author. Hazel began quickly flipping through the pages. She didn't pay much attention, just curious as to the content. But halfway through the book, the pages were blank. There were no words, no illustrations.
Just blank paper.
"That is so weird," she muttered, frowning at the book as she closed it and peered at the front again.
"Hazel! We gotta go. Are you buying that?"
Hazel snapped her attention to Brynn, who looked at her rather concerned. Jaslyn's eyes were narrowed and searching. Hazel couldn't bring herself to put the book back. Her fingers clenched around the leathery material, pulling it closer to her body. "Yes," she replied, wondering when her voice became so hoarse. "Yes, I'm buying this one."
The trip back to the front of the shop seemed to take less time than the trip to the back. The woman at the front of the shop, cigarette hanging from her mouth, glanced at Hazel as she tapped the counter with the book. She was still unwilling to release it, unwilling to let it out of her grasp even for just a moment.
The woman flicked her eyes back and forth, from the book to Hazel. Amber eyes shone with something Hazel couldn't place, something knowing. The long braid swished as the clerk took a step forward and pushed the book into Hazel's chest with red tipped fingers.
She smiled slowly, the barest upturn of her lips. "It's on the house. I've wanted that one gone for a while." Hazel frowned, about to protest. "Well, it's time for me to close. Have a nice night, ladies. Be careful." She stared at Hazel with piercing eyes as they left the building. Hazel shifted uncomfortably and hugged the book to her chest, breaking eye contact.
But she could still feel eyes burning into her back. As she followed Jaslyn and Brynn to their original spot to wait for the Uber (how had only ten minutes passed?) Hazel opened the first few pages of the book again with the purpose of reading.
The truth of the matter was, she did not know the first thing about this book. Only that she needed it, that she needed to take it home.
As she opened the pages and turned to the first page with handwritten words, it felt as though the world slowed, as if sounds were faraway, as if nothing could touch her.
Her eyes scanned the letters and her chest tightened, a slow and heavy breath leaving her lips.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away . .