"Alright. Now again. What came over you?" I interrogated the little devil while sitting on the edge of the bed and buttoning my shirt.
"It's that time, what's so unclear?" Vessira muttered from under the blanket, mortified—so much so that goosebumps ran down my spine. "We have a period like that, when hormones override your head, and it lasts about half a takedu. And I already liked you, and you even admitted you like my company, and you've been teasing me for a long time, and… and… well, I couldn't hold back."
"Mmm…"
"You could call it a species trait."
"What the kriff kind of 'trait' is that. That means you can lo—khah…" I don't manage to finish before I catch a light elbow to the gut, and a red-faced—yet furious—Ves peeks out from under the blanket.
"No, it doesn't. We get very strongly attached to our life partners. When one spouse dies, the other doesn't rush to build new relationships."
"What?!"
"Bantha-brained genius—one of the best in the cohort, and sometimes you're so stupid," she fumed. "Are all those hints really that hard to understand? We have high moral values, you know. That's why I watched you at first, and what I saw… I loved. And then I played. And you were no better—always handing out compliments and showing attention. By the way, if you didn't notice, you're the only one who gives compliments like that at all. The only one. At first I thought that since you do it to other girls in our group too, you must be with one of them, but still—more attention goes to me. So I decided to try my luck. And, by the way, among my people, licking your partner means recognizing them as an equal. It's also a sign that the one who licks you is showing care and love," and then she got very quiet, "and if a young Cathar does that to someone… it's a direct proposal for… intimacy."
"Sorry. Didn't know," I spread my hands. At least now it's clear why some of the older guys started grinning lewdly and even winking at times.
"Yeah. Though… we've got a small problem in that regard."
"Hm?"
"I… don't need much to enjoy myself. Unlike a male. So… sometimes Cathar take several girls. And I was really afraid I wouldn't be able to satisfy you. As a woman. And since you compliment other girls, I thought…" She got completely embarrassed and wrapped herself in the blanket.
"Mmm," so that's where the fear came from. And here I was thinking… "What's so bad about it? Is it really wrong to tell a girl she's beautiful?"
"Usually you say that to your (!) girl," she peeked out. "No one does that except you. Literally no one. The girls and I even talked about it once. But we agreed it's just your manner."
"So you were jealous?"
"That too. But I can understand it, because, like I said, we don't need much, and we get… well, that… you know. So I could understand if you were keeping an eye out for someone else. But judging by your face, you didn't know about any of that…"
I didn't answer—just looked at her like, How would I even know that?!
"So… did I succeed?"
"Hm?"
"Well… satisfying you. You."
And that look—like the fate of the galaxy depends on it. No, if you look at it from another angle, it really is a big problem, but…
"You did," I smile, remembering how I rolled her over pretty quickly, and then just took pity and didn't keep going. Well… Ves handled one round, yeah, but the second was already too much for her. Still, that drawback was more than compensated by her looks and her cuteness—enough to just sit there and melt.
"Yeah?" I got a suspicious once-over.
"Yeah."
"Really?" She didn't believe it.
"Really."
"Really-really?"
"Ves…"
The stare got even more intent.
"Ves, calm down. It's fine. And anyway, for a first time it was great."
"Mm-hm."
"But so you know, I have absolutely no idea how to handle girls!"
"I figured," she nodded seriously.
"I can barely talk about random stuff—only what's there."
"And I know that," nod.
"And I'm always disappearing somewhere."
"You're telling me?" she lifted her eyes at me.
"Ahem. Basically, yes. And that's not even counting my manners. Which I can't say I have a lot of," I lean toward the Cathar.
"And don't," she snorted. "I still remember our first meeting, when you called me beautiful in front of everyone. Cathar aren't exactly considered the beauty standard. And anyway—who says things like that so freely, to what is basically a stranger… being?!" She sounded either outraged or impressed.
"Exactly, that's what I'm saying. Do you really need this?"
"I do!" she answered at once, confidently—and grabbing me by the neck, pulled me onto the bed, kissing me.
"Mmm… you learn fast."
"I'm more interested in where you learned it," and the look was like I was under interrogation.
"Well… there was experience. In the past," I dodge the answer as hard as I can. "Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter anymore."
"Sure?"
"Absolutely. So what now?"
"Nothing." She lay down on my stomach and, unbuttoning a couple buttons, traced the pigment lines on my chest with a clawed finger. Ves's claws are very sharp—she keeps them filed, and they can retract, too. My back felt them perfectly well, but thank the Force. "I just couldn't keep myself in hand. And I didn't want to. I really liked you, after all. If you were around more, you'd know how sick I already made the girls with my talk about you."
"Yeah. And they both stayed quiet."
"They didn't stay quiet. You just didn't listen," she poked me accusingly.
"Mmm. Can't argue," I nod, remembering how I got carried out of training a couple times. In moments like that, there was only one desire—someone finish me off.
"You'd better not," she snorted softly into my chest.
"Ves."
"Hm?" Big, big pupils looked up at me. Another one of her specialties: copying Puss in Boots. Literally.
"Oh," unable to resist, I scratch that darling behind the ear.
"Mrrr…"
"And still—you acted very recklessly."
"Why?" blink-blink. And then it hit me.
"You… you sly devil, you planned everything! You calculated me, and prepared yourself," she smiled back, full of cunning. "So what does that make you?"
"Your kitty, mrrr," she answered impishly, licking my lips and purring, "who just decided to take matters into her own paws."
"Hm. Agreed. Completely agreed. But! It's still not fair. Charging in that brazenly, head-on… even I don't do that. When I'm supposed to!"
"Would you have come to me first?"
"Given how busy I am, it's more no than yes," I weigh that option. And then I got scared. Trading training for girls at my age? Something is definitely wrong with me. Where's the nearest therapist?
"Exactly. And where are your hormones when they're actually needed? I tried this way, that way, the tail, the ears—I even learned to walk from the hip—and you still wouldn't budge! You didn't catch a single hint. So what does that make you?"
"A very busy Togruta half-blood," I snort, lightly flicking her nose and returning my hand to her head for more scratching. Bliss. "So busy that I'm just happy to crawl to the bed, let alone think about girls."
"Yeeah, Shade, you can't drive yourself like that."
"I have to, Ves. I just have to," I tell her, and reassure myself. Great. Just great, Shade. Look how far we've sunk.
"Why?!"
"I'm not going to yield to anyone anything that I rightfully consider mine," I hug the little devil tighter, "but to have that option, I need power. And I definitely don't consider myself someone who has it…"
"Yeah-yeah, tell me that," the Cathar snorted.
"You haven't seen my mother. Between us, there's a huge abyss—and I dream of at least shrinking it. You know, like an obsessive goal that appeared in my head and won't go away."
"You're an idiot. Yes-yes, and you don't deny it," she waved it off. "And what a shameless one."
"Well, what can I say? Nerve is the second happiness."
"For you, it's the first."
"Mmm. If you say so."
"There!"
Then the bell rang.
"Looks like it's time for class."
"And that's coming from the temple's most notorious rule-breaker."
"What rules?" I was genuinely surprised.
"Back in Padawan Kesh… ah, right. You stood out there too—spitting on the rules and staying on home instruction," she smiled. "Anyway, every temple has a code of rules: what, how, and when to do things, and what you can't do. And even though you're considered the most notorious offender, that's only because there haven't been any truly serious offenses behind you. You just don't act like the others. More… competently, or something."
"Oh. Mom explained the basics and the boundaries of what's allowed."
"Then that explains it. By the way, what we did is forbidden, and it only becomes allowed once we become Travelers," she thought something over. "Well—meaning in a few takedus."
"Yeah. Should read up on it sometime."
"Pha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha…" she exploded into hysterical laughter.
"Ves?"
"Ha-ha-ha…"
"Ves!"
"Oh… I'm fine. It's just, the guys in the group were asking: did you deliberately set a goal to break the entire list of rules? And it turns out you just never even remembered them."
"At least I feel alive and free," I spread my hands. "No, I get it—ignorance of the rules doesn't exempt you from responsibility, but I know the approximate boundaries."
"Heh."
"Alright, let's go. Though yeah—reading up is definitely worth it."
She rose to her knees, finishing off my confusion about her completely. She's Cathar, but a half-blood. Soft, short, silky fur covered almost her entire body, and it was so short and gentle that if you didn't look closely, you couldn't tell it from skin. The only thing that gave it away was the colored pigments, adding patterning.
And the curves on her, mmm… a refined waist, tender hands that make you melt, and that "mrrr" of hers—oof. Unable to resist, I put my hands on the waist of that sly devil, and she isn't against it—on the contrary, she catches my hand and guides it higher. And the playful look of those vertical pupils gave away the mistress's intentions without any empathy at all.
"And you don't mind this is Ramira's room too?"
"I have an arrangement," she whispered, leaning in and pressing her chest right to me, "and full carte blanche."
"Everything's clear with you."
"Well, what? Catching you in your own room is a feat, and negotiating with Ramira is way easier than with Gris…" she said with sincere indignation, that sly mug. "Female solidarity and insight—such a thing."
"And where's Rami?" In response she just looked at me like… well, it's obvious who. "Ah. Right. Question withdrawn."
"Shh. Want to be late?" she shot me a look, drawing closer to my face.
"Hm… I don't know. We've got a lesson with… mmm… mmm!"
***
We did get a reprimand for skipping, and we were sent to meditate for six hours straight. For fun, we agreed to try to connect. And the shock was— it worked! I'm sitting there, meditating, thinking about Ves, when I start hearing her voice. To my surprise, it wasn't Basic, but most likely her native tongue. And what's most surprising, I understood it. More or less the same happened from my side, only…
"Shade, I don't understand. I can clearly hear Togruti, but rougher words keep slipping into it. And strangely, I feel those words a lot heavier. What language is that?" Well. That's a twist. So my mind can't decide which language is native to me? Interesting…
"It's a language of one people. It's dead, because no one speaks it here. No one at all."
"Then how do you know it?"
"That's the problem—I have no idea. I shouldn't know it, but… it's with me."
"Strange… very strange."
"You can say that. The Force must be joking. Listen—did I understand right that you're speaking Catharese?"
"Yes. I read about this kind of communication. In it, each person speaks only their native language. But the strange part is that you're speaking two different languages at once, which shouldn't be possible."
"Let's… drop that topic?"
"Okay. What do you want to ask?"
"Why does it have to be a question?"
"Shade, I've gotten to know you too well. And besides, I can clearly feel your emotions," I froze, "oh, and I didn't realize you hide your feelings that strongly." A rush of emotions and thoughts knocks my concentration off, and I slip out of the trance. Turning to Ves sitting three meters away, I raise an eyebrow questioningly. "But now I know I wasn't wrong," and then something in me clicked.
"You… wait. You set up our lateness on purpose so they'd send us to meditate. Right?" She smiled. "How do you have so much cunning in you?!"
"Well, I'm a ki-i-tty. And cats are hi-i-ighly cunning," she drawled with an audacious grin.
"Fair. But where did you get telepathy? Even I can't do that, and Mom tried to teach me."
"Dad taught me," she shrugged. "He's a Trailblazer, overseeing the security of the colony I'm from. And you hide your feelings very well, Shade. Deep in your heart. Good or bad. If I touched something I shouldn't have—please forgive me. I just wanted to see them. You even hid them in bed…" she whispered. "But you read mine like a book."
"Heh. So what did you see?"
"Kindness. Care. The desire to hug. To protect," she blushed and looked away, "and you aren't afraid of death. Not at all. Like someone sentenced to die, who's already accepted it," her gaze turned thoughtful, like she was seeing me from a new angle. "And there's a lot of anger and hurt in you. But what it's aimed at, I couldn't make out." She tilted her head, as if asking. I inhale deeply and answer on the exhale.
"Death… I have a special relationship with it, let's say. Believe me, dying isn't scary. Living is scary. I… know what I'm talking about," I darken, looking at the floor.
"Sorry."
"It's fine. You did the right thing trying to see what I hide. You can—and should—see what reigns in my soul."
"Anger?" she nodded.
"I'm angry at the world, Ves."
"Mmm?"
"It has no mercy. The weak become food for the strong, or they become stronger themselves. But often it doesn't give them that chance. That feeling when you want to live, when you want to be free, when you want to see your child's eyes. But you understand you won't have it. You've got only a few takedus left, and you'll die. Death pain torments you, and you wait for the day of death not as an end, but as release from pain. And besides, you know the saying: you can't breathe your fill before death?" She shook her head. "Now you do. It means that in a short span you'll try to do everything at once, but in the end nothing will work out. But you'll still try. In my case… you'll try to give someone joy—a moment in which they'll be truly happy. Then they'll understand life has bright colors, understand there's good in the world… even if there isn't much…" I pull myself up short and look into Ves's tense eyes.
"You… you're dying?!" Ves whispered in horror.
"What? No! Not at all," I shake myself hard, looking into her truly worried green eyes. "It's just… I know that feeling. I know it perfectly. I had an experience… and moreover, it's like I lived that person's life. Saw the world through his eyes in those last moments. And I'll probably never be able to get rid of it. But I'm fine. Honestly. I just understood and rethought a lot, that's all."
"Really, you're fine?"
"Yes, Ves. It's… my little secret. Even Mom doesn't know."
"I understand," Ves nodded seriously.
"And otherwise everything's fine." After studying me a moment, she believed it. Sitting for a bit, turning thoughts over in her head—flaring with all kinds of emotions—she got up, walked over, sat beside me, and wrapped my arm.
"Listen, Shade… sorry I got crafty here. I was just a little scared. Not many people decide to tie their fate to Cathar, and you… you addressed me so many times like… like something precious, as if I was already yours. You showed attention—even if strange. And every time in passing!" On those last words she raised her voice, and I felt a tiny bit ashamed. Just a tiny bit. "Shade, you really won't leave me?"
"What do you mean?" I didn't understand, snapping over. The gears in my head jammed hard trying to build a chain.
"In two takedus we leave the temple. For two years we'll be in the field with personal Masters. I already found the one I want to share my life with, and I even saw his feelings, but… I still worry whether he wants it. I understand how stupid it sounds. And looks. But I can't help it. It's just… hard for me to believe."
"Don't worry," with my free hand I brush her bangs away from her eyes. Two green eyes lock onto mine. "Now…" leaning closer, I lick her lips, "we'll always be in touch," I whisper into her ear, allowing myself to scratch behind that ear. She smiled, and after a moment I add, "so I'll always know who to call when I need to satisfy my carnal desires."
"BAM!"
"IDIOT!!!" Ves exploded, landing a fat punch into my side, then unleashing an entire storm—now into my shoulder. "You… you… ill-mannered, rude, insolent, shameless—"
"Phe-he-he-he," I grab her waist and flop on top. "Okay, okay—can't even joke anymore."
"You can't!" Oh, how ruffled… and angry. The sheer adoration radiating off her made me stretch into a stupid grin.
"Gotta joke like that more often—you look so funny… and hey, maybe I really should get myself another kitty?" I shouldn't, shouldn't pull the tiger's tail, but I can't help it.
"Oh, is that so? Then I'll—!"
***
At the same time, outside the door
"…So you're saying they want to give him to Master Irbis?"
"Yes. What do you think?"
"I don't understand why him, specifically. He follows the Code like a law," the Togruta shook her head. "And he's not even a fighter. My son will be a hunter, like me—what will Irbis teach him? How to talk a victim's ears off before cutting their head off?"
"You're exaggerating. I think it's not such a bad idea."
"Why?"
"Shade is very hot-headed. And Irbis is the opposite—calm like a monk. I think he'll be able to cool him down a little."
"Maybe you're right," the Togruta mused.
Meanwhile, the two longtime friends stopped at the entrance to one of the meditation rooms. From behind the door came loud noise—furniture thudding, a girl's yells, and someone's laughter.
"What the—"
At that moment the door opened, and a disheveled Togruta half-blood flew out. Burning eyes, tousled hair, a crumpled shirt…
"Mom?!" he blurted, seeing the woman in front of him. But then, as if sensing something, he sharply moved aside, pulling both the Togruta and her friend with him. A moment later, a specialized meditation chair flew out of the door. "Hello, Master!" he rattled off at high speed, and then in the same breath, "Mom, you asked—I'm introducing you. This is Vessira, my girlfriend. That's it, I have to go, we'll talk later!" He was already shouting those last words while running.
Then a Cathar half-blood appeared in the doorway—ruffled, very, very angry. Paying no attention at all to the Temple Master or her guest, the girl tore off after the laughing boy.
"I'LL KILL YOU!" she screamed down the corridor.
When the teenagers vanished around the corner, the temple's mistress was the first to recover.
"So—any more questions about why Irbis, specifically?" the Sith asked her friend. The Togruta at that moment just stood there smiling. "Aala?"
"Well. It's not just the Force, Force, Force," the Togruta said. "I was even starting to worry about him. I thought I'd have to вмешаться—step in, find someone. But no, it wasn't needed." She turned to the Sith. "What were you saying?"
"I'm saying you owe me now."
"Nooo. Consider that I've cleared one of your two debts."
"And your conscience still hasn't woken up," Master Tsikuna sighed. "So what do I have to do for you to clear the second?"
"Don't worry. I'll definitely come up with something," the Togruta assured her. "So—will you introduce me to your invisible man? As far as I know, he regularly complains to you about Shade."
"If only it were just him… and anyway, it's still a question of who should be complaining about whom. Since enrollment, he and your son have been playing a game: who finds whom, and then they take apart the opponent's mistakes together. You can't even imagine how irritating it is when you're walking down a corridor and right under your nose a blurred shadow jumps out of nowhere and immediately vanishes. I'm amazed at how they learned to distract other people's gaze or hide themselves in the Force. Good thing they can't actually become true invisibles!"
"Khah, khah… pha-ha-ha…"
You think it's funny, but I get complaints regularly."
"Then why don't you rein them in? You're the Temple Master!"
"Yeah, you'd have to find them first," Tsikuna muttered. "And even if you do—scold yours, don't scold, it's all the same. But let Bagi learn—he hasn't met any worthy opponents within these walls yet, he's gotten too relaxed. He'll be teaching others later, so let him. Besides, I haven't seen him like that in a long time."
"And the other instructors?"
"Eh… come on. We'll discuss everything over a cup of soya. Maybe by then they'll cool down."]