I did as I was told. The building was much bigger than I expected, with a thick wooden door I didn't even get the chance to knock on before it was yanked open.
The tallest woman I had ever seen stood before me. Her mouth was pressed into a sneer, her hair pulled back so tightly it looked painful. Lean muscles stretched beneath red-black leather armor, one hand resting casually on the hilt of her sword. Surprise flickered across her face when she saw me, but it vanished just as quickly.
"Yes?" she barked.
I gestured to myself, but the boy stepped forward before I could speak. "Yes! We're here to join the fight in the Borderland!"
The woman's severe, dark eyes snapped to him, and he shrank back immediately. Disappointment tightened her face as she took us all in. "I asked for more muscles, and they send me what? A half-starved man, a kid, and a madwoman."
"I'm not a kid! I'm....."
He didn't finish. Her hand blurred forward, striking him hard enough to spin him to the ground. "You are nothing but flesh to do as I tell you," she said coldly. "And there's a standing instruction to keep your mouth shut."
The boy scrambled up, touching his swollen, bruised cheek. The woman rubbed her temple, then pointed at him again. "You, kid, you're useless. You'll stay here and make yourself useful. You, madwoman, I don't know what to do with you, maybe the fortress will find some use for you."
Then she turned to me.
Her gaze would have made stronger men flinch but I didn't. There was nothing left in me to react to. My eyes stared back at her, hollow and empty.
She was the first to look away, frowning slightly before the sneer returned.
"You," she finally said. "You look like a stray wind could carry you off. Like your bones will snap under effort. Too bad. You'll be doing a lot of effort."
She paused. I stayed silent.
"You'll join the labor camp under my wing. Go inside and we'll leave tomorrow."
I nodded and walked past her toward the building. As I passed, I heard her mutter, "Why can't they at least send me someone with some life? This one will die in no time. At least a Squire would've helped my quota."
The building was just as large inside, filled with straw mats and a small sealed-off section in one corner.
She returned later and gestured vaguely. "Find somewhere to sleep. We're heading to the Barrens later. And you, boy, someone will come for you soon."
Then she disappeared into the sealed room.
Some time later, she emerged and nodded at me where I sat near the door. "Let's go."
She led me back the way we'd come, curving around the fortress and across dry, cracked ground. The sun dipped lower as we walked.
She didn't talk much. Neither did I. It gave me time to think.
I'm here now. This is where I'll die after failing at everything else. What choice do I have? Run away? Then what? Try to become a Knight? Advance on my own? The monsters out there would kill me long before that.
I stopped walking, a frown forming on my face, the first real expression I'd made since leaving the prison.
Either here, back at the prison, or in the Barrens… death is still death. Why haven't I tried to die?
The thought disturbed me more than it should have. It touched something I didn't want to examine. Bitterness swelled inside me, and I shuddered.
No. Impossible. I'm not afraid of death. I want to die. Yes, I want to die! Eager for it even! I clenched my teeth. What is there to live for anyway?
I forced myself forward again and then I saw it.
A ruin rose ahead of us, rusted glass and metal, massive, almost as large as Steelclaw's fortress. It had already been sacked, stripped bare and abandoned, but its sheer scale stunned me.
"You know," the woman said, stopping when she noticed I'd paused, "most people are shocked when they see a ruin. You're staring at it the same way you stare at everything else."
I gave it one last look and kept walking. She raised a brow, muttering under her breath before finally speaking. "I'm Taiwo."
I nodded.
Silence stretched until I realized she was waiting. "Vale."
"Well, Vale...."
Something suddenly exploded into motion.
A monster rose beside her and slammed a clawed hand into her so fast I only saw a blur. She was hurled sideways, bone snapping loudly as she crashed into the ground.
I didn't worry about her.
The monster was looking at me.
I'd seen monsters in books and stuffed trophies too but never a living one. Shaggy brown fur matted with red. A twisted humanoid frame, hunched back and clawed hands. A dog mouth split wide, revealing rows of gleaming fangs.
It didn't matter what it was, all that matters was that it was dangerous.
It growled.
Finally, death, I thought. I forced myself to step forward. This is it. You want death, don't you? It's right there. Embrace it, welcome it!
But my feet wouldn't move.
My eyes locked with the monster's, and something surged inside me, something I hadn't felt in a long time. My heart thundered. Cold sweat soaked my skin.
The monster roared, warm rotted breath washing over me and I stepped back.
The realization hit me like a blade. I'm afraid to death! I don't want to die!
I'm afraid of death… even when there's nothing left to live for.
The monster coiled and pounced, crossing the distance in a single leap.