I usually found her where the smell of old books hit me hard. She imitated the sun in the dark, kindling the warmth when the cold winds were harsh.
Looking back, aside from my family, she was always there— a constant presence in the times I felt happy, sad, confident, uncertain, excited or nothing at all. I just had to close my eyes and wait for her to appear.
"...Yet you're unable to picture her, are you?"
As if she could read my mind, Doctor Sarah cut through the echo only to pinpoint what I found so hard to accept.
"A missing detail isn't proof of fabrication, Doctor..." I thought I was a logical person as I replied in a way foreign to even myself. Words just slipped out of my lips without consulting my brain, defending my side of the story how an advocate would. "...It's proof of incomplete data."
"Then let me rephrase my question: was there anyone familiar?" She looked straight into my eyes in an attempt to dig deeper into my thoughts.
"Seraphina." It took me a while to force that name out.
"By Seraphina, you mean the Empress? Your wife?" She looked genuinely surprised for a brief second before she continued. "Who does she resemble?"
"...You."
After a mental fight over whether to be honest with my psychologist ended in a short, awkward silence right after the word left my mouth. I instantly regretted my decision.
Doctor Sarah smiled politely, as if I were a child spouting cute little nonsense. Then glanced down at her left-hand, showing off a sleek, simple yet beautiful platinum band on her ring finger.
"Let me tell you, in case you're unaware..." She twisted her platinum band around her ring finger gently."...that I'm already married, with a child."
"I noticed that ring during our very first meeting. I knew it was a wedding ring." A subtle smirk emerged on my face soon before the words left my mouth. I don't know how, but I had just known she would say something like that.
"Hahaha..."
Maybe it was the mood? Or maybe because of something tied to those memories— I don't know how it belongs to me?
"Hahaha..."
By the end of that session, the room was filled with chuckles as we both burst out laughing together for a reason neither of us could name.
I guess she didn't just resemble Seraphina in appearance, but in personality, too. If these memories truly were mine, then I know— why she felt as if I already knew her, and how we ended up as good friends before I even realized.