Three days of sailing aboard The Iron Belly, and I began to realize one thing: the Sea of Regret was not named for poetic reasons. It was called that because everyone who entered it would eventually regret ever being born.
The waves here didn't roll normally. The seawater was a murky gray, and sometimes you could see faint faces screaming on the surface before being swallowed by foam. The sky was perpetually covered in slowly rotating storm clouds, as if the world itself was holding its breath, waiting for disaster.
"Chef! Where's my lunch?!" Captain Barbarossa shouted from the bridge.
I was in the swaying ship's kitchen, trying to stir-fry vegetables while stopping my pan from sliding across the floor. "Be patient, Captain! This squid is really tough—it's still trying to strangle the carrots!"
Thanks to my gacha item, Seahorse Blinders, I was no longer vomiting nonstop. Unfortunately, the goggles made the ship's kitchen look like a rolling grassland. As a result, I often tried to step onto what looked like "flat ground," only to discover it was a tilted floor, causing me to slam into the walls repeatedly.
Lila sat on top of a barrel of gunpowder (her new favorite spot), fishing through the kitchen window.
"Big Bro Lian, the fish here are weird. Earlier I caught one with human legs. It said 'Hello' and then ran away."
"Don't listen to it, Lila. That was a hallucination fish. Just throw it back," I replied, pouring Kraken Broth into the soup.
My black pan vibrated happily. Ever since it had eaten the Kraken's tentacle, it had become more… active. Sometimes, when I wasn't looking, it would slowly scoot itself closer to the kitchen knives, as if preparing for a street fight.
Suddenly, the temperature dropped sharply. The steam rising from my pan crystallized into tiny ice shards.
BOOOOM!
Thunder roared—not normal thunder, but green lightning splitting the sky. The ship shook violently, spilling some of my soup (which the pan immediately licked up with its shadowy tongue).
"EVERYONE ON DECK! THE GHOST STORM IS HERE!" Barbarossa shouted in panic.
I turned off the stove, grabbed Lila, and ran outside.
The sight was terrifying. The sea, once gray, had turned pitch black. Thick fog engulfed the ship, and from within it emerged floating, translucent figures.
They were Drowned Souls—sailors who had died in these waters. They wailed, cried, and muttered their regrets.
"I never should've bought those meme stocks…"
"Why did I cheat with the captain's wife…"
"I forgot to turn off the stove at home…"
The voices buzzed in my ears, making my head spin.
[SYSTEM ALERT: Psychic Attack Detected.]
[Enemies: Drowned Souls (Level ??).]
[Effect: Sudden depression and an urge to jump into the sea.]
[Suggestion: Think happy thoughts. Like payday.]
"Attack them! Don't let them board the ship!" Barbarossa ordered, swinging his massive axe enchanted with fire magic.
The axe passed straight through the ghosts.
"Damn it! Physical attacks don't work! We need holy damage! Elena! Where's Elena?!"
I looked around. Lady Seraphina was busy forming a thin barrier of light to protect herself and Lila. But Elena—the Holy Knight who should've been the MVP in a situation like this—was nowhere to be seen.
"Miss Elena?!" I shouted.
"Big Bro Lian! Over there!" Lila pointed toward a pile of empty wine barrels in the darkest corner of the deck.
I ran over. Between the barrels, I saw a glint of silver armor. Elena was crouched there, hugging her knees, hands clamped tightly over her ears. Her eyes were shut, and her body was trembling even harder than when she first saw my Hell Pan.
"Elena? What are you doing? We're being attacked by ghosts!"
CRACK!!!
Green lightning struck the mast. Elena let out a small scream—"KYAA!"—and buried her face deeper into her knees.
I froze.
The Valkyrie Knight who had fought golems and demon cultists… was afraid of lightning?
"M-Miss… are you scared of thunder?" I asked in disbelief.
Elena peeked up slightly. Her face was deathly pale, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. All her dignity was completely shattered.
"I-I'm not scared! This is… this is technical trauma!"
"What kind of technical trauma?!"
"My armor! This armor is made of pure mithril! The best electrical conductor in the world! When I was young, I got struck by lightning during training and—and my hair turned frizzy for a whole month! It smelled like burnt chicken! I refuse to become roasted chicken again!"
I facepalmed. It actually made sense. But the timing was terrible.
"But they're ghosts, Elena! Your holy sword is the only thing that can hurt them! Barbarossa's axe is just decoration!"
"I can't! My hands are shaking! I can't hold my sword!" Elena shook her head as another bolt of lightning struck.
While we argued, the ghosts began climbing over the ship's railing. They closed in on the overwhelmed Barbarossa. One of them had already latched onto Seraphina's back, whispering words of despair.
"Damn it! I have to do something!"
I looked at the pan in my hand. Then at the kitchen supplies I had grabbed earlier.
Salt.
In many cultures (including anime I'd watched), salt could exorcise ghosts. The problem was that normal table salt probably wouldn't be strong enough.
"System! Emergency Gacha! Category: Exorcism Seasonings!"
[Ding!] [1 Gacha Ticket Used.]
[Congratulations! You have obtained: "Super Knockoff Himalayan Salt (Blessed by Ancestors)".]
[Description: Coarse salt with low-level Purification effects.]
[Note: Extremely painful if it gets in the eyes—especially spiritual eyes.]
A large bag of pink coarse salt appeared in my hands.
"Alright, Pan. Fan Mode!"
I poured the salt into the pan. It understood. It rapidly heated itself, making the salt pop like superheated popcorn.
I ran to the center of the deck.
"HEY! WHINY GHOSTS! STOP BOTHERING MY FRIENDS!"
The ghosts turned toward me, their horrifying faces drifting closer.
"Join ussss… at the bottom of the seeeaaa…"
"No thanks! The water's cold!"
I swung the pan with all my strength in a spinning motion.
"Secret Chef Technique: Salt Bae Exorcism!"
The hot salt flew out like shotgun pellets. The moment the grains touched the ghosts' transparent bodies, a spiritual chemical reaction occurred.
SREEEEET!
"AAAAARGH! IT'S SALTY! IT BURNS!"
The ghosts screamed as the areas hit by salt smoked and disintegrated.
[Critical Hit! Holy Damage (Low) + Physical Disrespect.]
"It's working!" Lila cheered. "Come on, Big Bro! Salt them again!"
I ran around the deck like a madman, flinging salt everywhere.
"Salt for you! Salt for you! You too—yeah, you with the ugly face—have some salt!"
Barbarossa stared at me, mouth agape.
"He's… he's exorcising a ghost storm with kitchen seasoning?"
But my salt supply was limited. And there were hundreds of ghosts. In the sky, the clouds gathered into the shape of a giant skull. The Ghost Storm King began to manifest, opening its mouth to fire a massive green lightning bolt—straight at Elena, who was still hiding.
"This is bad! Elena!"
I ran toward her, but I was too far. The lightning launched.
Suddenly, the pan flew out of my hands on its own, shooting through the air like a bullet. It positioned itself directly above Elena's head, expanding just enough to cover her head and shoulders like an iron umbrella.
BOOOOOOM!!!
The green lightning struck the pan's scorched bottom.
Normally, metal would conduct electricity. But this pan wasn't ordinary metal. It was a sentient item connected to the Void.
The pan absorbed the lightning. The red eye on its underside glowed brightly, flickering wildly.
CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP.
Yes. Chewing sounds. In the middle of the storm.
Elena slowly opened her eyes. She was alive. She looked up and saw the black pan hovering above her, smoking—and… burping?
BUUUURP! (An electric burp.)
"That pan… ate the lightning?" Elena whispered in disbelief.
Seeing their king get eaten by a kitchen utensil, the other ghosts froze. They looked at each other (if they even had eyes), then slowly retreated.
"This place is weird…" one ghost muttered. "Let's just go home…"
The fog gradually thinned. The sky returned to its usual gray. The ghosts vanished back into the sea.
I collapsed onto the deck, completely exhausted. My salt bag was empty. The pan shrank back to normal size and clattered onto the deck in front of Elena.
Elena stared at it for a long time. Then she looked at me. Her face was bright red—not from fear, but from overwhelming embarrassment. She had just been saved by a burnt pan.
She stood up, adjusted her armor, and walked stiffly toward me.
"Rian."
"Y-Yes, Miss?"
She grabbed my collar and yanked my face close. Her eyes were sharp, but there was gratitude in them.
"If you ever tell anyone… about me hiding behind barrels… or about me screaming like a little girl…"
She didn't finish the sentence. Her grip tightened until I nearly suffocated.
"I won't, Miss! I swear! I didn't see anything! I only saw you… uh… conducting a barrel quality inspection!"
She released me.
"Good."
She picked up the pan and gently patted its scorched bottom, like patting a dog's head.
"And you… thank you, ugly pan."
The pan vibrated happily.
Captain Barbarossa came down from the bridge, laughing loudly.
"Bwahahaha! Incredible! The ship's cook banished ghosts with salt, and his pan ate lightning! I've never seen a crazier crew in my life!"
"Captain," Seraphina interrupted, emerging from her barrier. "Look ahead."
We all turned toward the bow. In the distance, the fog of the Sea of Regret was lifting. Land appeared—towering white ice cliffs piercing the sky.
"The Northern Continent," Lila whispered.
[Location Detected: Frostbite Coast.]
[Temperature: -20°C.]
[Warning: The Second Seal is guarded by 'Something That Never Sleeps'.]
"Finally," I muttered, hugging myself as the cold seeped in.
"Goodbye ghosts, hello hypothermia."
As our ship approached the frozen land, I felt my Corruption Meter pulse again. But this time, it felt different. Not murderous… but nostalgic. As if a part of me had been left behind in that eternal snowfield.
"System," I asked silently. "Who's guarding the seal there?"
[Access Denied.]
[But here's a hint: She is the Demon Lord's ex-girlfriend from your previous life.]
"…Huh?! Seriously?!"
I looked at Elena, who was busy polishing her sword.
If the Demon Lord had an ex-girlfriend…
and Elena was the reincarnation of the hero who killed the Demon Lord…
This was going to be one very awkward reunion.