Dear Diary,
I got back home grinning like I had just won a lottery.
I think this is the attention I wanted.
And maybe, just maybe
I should make the best use of it.
"Ezra… I think I'm going to love you more," I whispered to myself, smiling like a fool.
I don't even know when I slept.
Click. Click. Click.
The alarm was vibrating like it was angry at me.
5:00 a.m.
I couldn't even complain I set it myself.
I dragged myself up, took my bath, and got ready for school. But my mind? Still stuck on yesterday.
On him.On that moment.
Diary, I think I like it. I really do.
When I got to class, Ezra wasn't around yet.
I don't know why, but that disappointed me a little.
I picked up my bottle to go fill water at the school tap. I wasn't even looking where I was going when
Bam!
I bumped into someone.
A pretty girl.
"Oh! I'm so sorry," I said quickly.
"It's fine," she replied, calm.
"I'm Amara. Science class," she added, taking a sip from her bottle.
"Precious," I said quietly.
"I know," she smiled. "Mr Alex made sure of that yesterday."
We both laughed.
Then silence
"Are you always this quiet?" she asked.
"I guess," I shrugged.
She looked at me for a moment like she was trying to figure me out.
"You're not dumb, you know," she said.
I frowned. "You don't know that."
"I do," she replied. "Dumb people don't look that stressed over a question."
I didn't even know what to say.
Nobody has ever said something like that to me before.
"Look," she continued, "if you're struggling, you can ask for help."
He...lp…
The word felt strange.
Like it didn't belong to me.
"I don't even know where to start," I admitted.
And for the first time it didn't feel like weakness.
It felt like truth.
"Then start small," she said. "After school, we can go over what he taught today."
I blinked. "You'd do that?"
"Why not? Unless you enjoy suffering."
I almost smiled.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
The bell saved me.
"See you after school," I said.
When I got back to class, Ezra was already there.
"Heyy bae," he said playfully.
My heart skipped.
"Em… I'm fine," I muttered, blushing like I had no control over my own face.
I quickly sat down and brought out my books, pretending to be serious.
But my mind was everywhere.
Especially on what Amara said.
Then Chioma came.
"Precious," she called softly.
That tone… The one people use when they want something.
"Can you help me talk to Daniel?" she said. "I like him."
I already knew.
I sighed inside.
"I'll try," I said, not looking up.
At least I should help her this once.
Ezra leaned closer to me. "You're actually going to help her?"
"Yeah," I said quietly. "I'll try."
After school everything happened fast.
Chioma pulled Daniel aside near the staircase. I stayed close but not too close.
"I like you," she said.
Straight, Bold.
Daniel blinked like his brain paused.
"Ah… Chioma… you're nice… but I don't like you like that."
Silence.
"I thought maybe"
"You're just not my type," he said.
That one was sharp.Even I felt it.
Chioma nodded quickly. "It's fine."
But it wasn't.
She walked away fast, pretending she was okay.
She wasn't.
I don't know why but I ended up at the guidance and counselor's office.
Maybe everything was just too much.
I knocked.
"Come eennn," a voice said.
I entered.
And Diary, I almost laughed instantly.
The woman was serious but the way she talked?
Everything was coming out through her nose.
"What eez your neeem?" she asked.
"Precious," I said.
"Pweciousss," she repeated.
I bit my lip hard.
"I am your guidance and counse-low," she said. "Tell me your pwoblem."
I almost forgot my problem.
"I… I feel confused," I said.
"Eez it acadeeemic… ow womantic?" she asked.
Womantic??
I nearly laughed out loud.
"Everything," I managed.
She nodded like a wise woman. "Life eez like that. Do not wush. Take eet one step at a time."
Then she said it again
"Pweciousss… you are stwonger than you think."
That almost finished me.
But somehow…
She was right.
After that, I met Amara. I almost didn't go.
But I did.
And that matters.
We sat under a tree, and she opened her notes.
"No escaping," she said.
"I regret this already," I muttered.
She laughed.
And then…
She taught me.
Slowly, Patiently.
For the first time, math didn't feel like punishment.
"See?" she said. "You're not dumb. You were just lost."
Lost.
Maybe that's what I've been all along.
Not stupid.
And maybe
I'm starting to find my way.
And Ezra…
He kept looking at me today.
Like he had something to say.
I don't know what that means yet.
But something is changing.
I can feel it.