I was on the floor, clenched fists to the floorboard.
My little brother. My poor, poor little brother. What have they done to you? You never got a chance for real action, and already your future has been taken from you.
So. Halfling-sized male genitalia is appropriately-sized to fit halfling-sized women. Who would have thought? I would have to stick to halfling women from now on.
EXCEPT I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE! I'm not! I'm not into! Halfling! Women! Who look! Like children!
I flopped over onto my back and let out a stifled groan. My dreams of my own harem, dashed. Well, no, that wasn't in the cards actually since all the romance options available are monogamous. Players sometimes install mods to the game to allow for multiple romances at once, but as a person actually living in this world, I didn't have such an option in the first place. The harem thing was just a vain hope.
Speaking of options, unlike CRPGs which came later, romance options in Baldur's Gate had their own tastes in what they liked and didn't like. In-character reasons trumped allowing a player of any race and gender to romance whoever they like. The bottom-line, if I recall correctly, was that none of the romance option were into small folks like gnome, dwarves, halflings probably. I distinctly remember my dwarf kensai playthrough being rather lonely.
So yeah, options. As in I didn't have any. Not that I could actually do the deed even if I had options, mind you. The female romance options were all regular-sized folks; humans, elves, dark elf, half-elves. Lots of elves, really. The parts wouldn't just wouldn't fit. The difference was that big.
I picked myself off the ground slowly, and regarded the ruffled haired halfling looking back at me in the mirror. Is black hair an unusual colour? I was kind of used to seeing the brown-haired hobbits in the movies. I picked black clothes which matched my black hair quite well. Can't imagine trying to sneak around in white clothes, in case it mattered.
How tall was I exactly? I know halflings are meant to be only half as tall as humans, but I seemed even shorter than I expected. And did halflings always look like children? Here I was considering romance options with my baby-face. What a stark difference from Elijah Wood in the movies.
So if I look like a child… Tentatively, I struck a pose of my arms crossed and gave a serious look on my face. I looked like a child who was pouting. Then I tried a thoughtful pose as if considering a serious problem. A child who was thinking seriously about something trivial was mirrored back to me, how cute! How about a threatening battle pose with my staff at the ready? A cuddly child was play-fighting with a big stick he found, so adorable!
I found myself back down on the floor with fists to floorboard.
Child, child, child. There's no way to look cool or imposing as a bright-eyed halfling! My aura was non-existent! Nada! I've got to be the lamest Bhaalspawn in all of Baldur's Gate history!
As I stomped down the stairs glumly, Winthrop flashed a big smile at me. "Done making sure you look good for your trip, little one?" Winthrop asked, "You'll be breaking hearts yet."
I gave Winthrop the side eye.
…did Winthrop always refer to the main character as 'little one'? No, that can't be right. The main character could be a half-orc. Wouldn't make sense if he did. I guess living in this world is a bit more reactive to my choices and circumstances than the old 1998 computer game would be. After all, the interaction we had earlier with the coin was totally off-script.
Some testing was in order. It was in my interests to check how much of this world followed the events of the game and how far I could deviate from it. Nearby Winthrop by the stairs, a sagely looking elf was sitting at a table drinking wine. That would have to be Firebeard Elvenhair. He really looked a lot more distinguished in person, with his greyed hair slicked back. He was always standing in-game, since the game generally did not render people sitting down.
In the original game, I would click on him to initiate conversation exactly 30 times in order to be awarded a whopping 300 gold pieces (gp). It was an easter egg, a gift from the game developer, rather than any reason for receiving the money. How would that work in-person compared to in-game? Would it even work, considering the canonicity of getting 300gp out of the sudden was really dubious.
I waved at Firebead who I had passed by earlier. "Hey, how're you doing? Do you remember me?"
Firebead put down his wine glass and gave me a look over. "How could I not! You're Gorion's ward, aren't you? My, you look so young and adorable as always, if you permit an old man to say so… Hmm, I left an identify scroll with Tethtoril, in the inner grounds. He should be done examining it by now, so if you could fetch it for me, I'd be grateful."
I… don't quite remember what exactly Firebead used to say exactly since I skipped through that conversation on subsequent playthroughs. But I'm almost certain he didn't say anything about the main character looking so young and ADORABLE.
"Sure, I can handle that," I responded.
Funny thing about the main character's life in Candlekeep. Everyone living there, EVERYONE, treated the main character like their personal errand boy. Because fulfilling these chores was essentially his role as a young orphan child growing up in the library fortress. So there was an actual in-game reason why the beginning of the game was filled with fetch quests, other than the developers easing in the players into the how to play the game.
Before any fetch quest though, I wanted my money. Or at least to see if I could get that 300gp or how this living in this world works.
"Uh… heya Firebead," I said again.
Firebead looked at me, puzzled. "Yes, hello again. Aren't you going to speak to Tethorial?"
Oh boy. "Hello Firebead," I said, stuttering.
Firebead crossed his arms. "I think we already covered that part. Twice already."
Oh gods it's so much more awkward in person! I can't keep just hailing him over and over. But I'm not willing to let go of that 300gp!
Maybe a different tact was in order. "You… have been away right? How was the trip here?" I asked, hesitantly.
Firebead caught himself and laughed. "Oh, where are my manners. I got straight to asking you to do things for me without having a proper conversation. I'm so sorry about that little one, we're all just so used to asking you to do things for us. Come, sit next to me." He turned to the innkeeper, "Winthrop, a glass of milk for the young man if you will."
"I'm not a child…ugh, nevermind." I sat down opposite Firebead obediently and sipped from the glass of milk when it arrived. Very fresh, straight from the Dreppin's cow no doubt.
"If I recall, you've always been couped up in here, never allowed to leave the castle grounds," Firebead started, "So it's understandable that you'd want to hear about the outside world and my adventures. Well, settle down because I have quite a lot to share."
Not that I didn't already know what was happening, having played the game so many times. I don't recall Firebead going into such detail back in the game. But it's not as if I could skip through the conversation though.
"There's an iron crisis going on outside," Firebead explained, "People use iron for all sorts of things, and there's suddenly a huge shortage. Well, shortage of good iron at least. Iron from the mines is brittle and doesn't work right. With raw iron being such an important commodity, bandits are raidng people for iron, if you can believe it. The trip from Beregost was more hazardous than I care to relate."
Beregost was a small town down south. I was definitely going to drop by there in the near future as they had a very good smithy there who sold magical weapons and armour.
"That's troubling," I responded. I had to try to make conversation. "I'm going on a trip with Gorion soon myself, as soon as I'm ready. And as luck would have it, my first venture out into the world, and the roads are hazardous as you put it?"
Firebead froze a moment. Just the slightest hint of a frown formed on his forehead. "Really? Of all times he finally brings you out, and he chose now?"
"He said it was very urgent, and we really need to leave as soon as I'm packed," I explained.
"Very urgent," Firebead repeated. The frown was very visible now, "Did he seem troubled, as of late?"
"As a matter of fact, he was. He's been kind of distant lately, something on his mind I suppose. And then he sprung this surprise on me. He gave me some money, but I'm really not sure what to buy. Especially with the iron crisis and the bandits. Will I need to, I don't know… defend myself?"
Firebead looked me up and down, pensive. It must have been hard to imagine one so small expected to fend off bandits on the road. He chose his next words carefully. "Bandits are not the only thing to fear out there, beyond the safety of this fortress. Your foster father must have thought long and hard about leaving, so there must be compelling reasons for him to leave such a secure location. Such difficult decisions are part of the burden he has chosen to bear."
He leaned forward and reached behind him. "You've been very kind to indulge an old man, little one. Please, take this. Spend it wisely."
Firebead really was holding out a bag of gold coins to me.
HUH?!? That's where the gold comes from and how I'm meant to get it? Wait-wait-wait, is that really the 300gp?
Some sense of decorum dictated that I should have rejected the money, but I found myself almost grabbing at the bag and counting out the coins instead. 300gp! It was all there!
"…Thank you! Thank you, Firebead, I won't forget this!" Thankfully, I had the piece of mind to actually thank him for it.
Firebead waved it away. "I have more where that came from. I'm certain you'll find better use for it than I. Don't forget to help me with the Identify scroll with Tethoril though."
"Yes, right away!" I secured my newfound money then ran out.
Then I walked right back in again. "Uh, I should buy my supplies for the trip first though."
"That would be wise," Firebead nodded sagely.