The sunlight was the first thing to betray me.
It wasn't a gentle, golden warmth. It was a sharp, accusing glare that pierced through my eyelids, vibrating inside my skull like a rhythmic hammer. I groaned, burying my face deeper into my pillow, but the movement sent a sharp, stinging fire shooting up my right leg.
Memory is a cruel thing. It doesn't come back all at once; it arrives in jagged, distorted shards.
The smell of cheap alcohol. The heavy, suffocating shadow of Jung Kai following me toward the darkened corridor. The panic—cold and sharp—rising in my throat as his hand reached for my wrist. The sound of my own breath, ragged and terrified, as I bolted. The slip. The hard, unforgiving impact of the tile floor. The blood.
And then... the blue.
My eyes snapped open. The ceiling of my own room stared back at me, but I wasn't thinking about the ceiling. I was thinking about a pair of eyes—dark, intense, and filled with a worry so deep it had felt like a physical weight.
Jeon Hanbin.
I remembered the heat of my palms against his cheeks. I remembered calling his name—not once, but over and over, like a prayer. I remembered the feeling of his back—broad, steady, and safe—as he carried me through the night.
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
The scream ripped out of my throat before I could stop it. I thrashed under my blankets, mortified, my face burning with a heat that had nothing to do with the morning sun. I had touched his face. I had cried into his neck. I had been carried across campus like a protagonist in a tragic drama, smelling of soju and desperation.
The door to my room flew open with a bang.
"What? Is it a cockroach? Did the house catch fire?"
My younger brother, Doyoon, stood in the doorway, still in his school uniform, looking half-alarmed and half-annoyed. Behind him, my Uncle Dohyun appeared, holding a spatula, his expression immediately softening into one of relief when he saw I was just sitting up in bed.
"Danoh-ya," Uncle said, leaning against the doorframe. "You're finally awake. Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Uncle," I croaked, my voice sounding like it had been dragged through gravel. "How... how did I get home?"
Uncle Dohyun crossed his arms, a small, knowing smirk playing on his lips. "A very dedicated young man carried you into the pharmacy, refused to let anyone else touch you until he was sure I was actually your uncle, and then carried you all the way back to our living room."
I pulled the duvet over my head, wanting the earth to swallow me whole. "Don't say it. Please don't say it."
Doyoon let out a loud, obnoxious cackle, hopping onto the edge of my bed. "Oh, I'm saying it. I didn't think you had it in you, Noona. First day of university and you already managed to find a 'boyfriend for a few hours' to shuttle you around? Efficient. I'm impressed."
"He's not my boyfriend!" I screamed from under the covers. I grabbed my extra pillow and launched it at his head with pinpoint accuracy.
Doyoon ducked, laughing harder. "He looked pretty committed for a stranger! He looked like he was ready to fight Uncle if he didn't show ID. Very 'Knight in Shining Armor.' Very romantic."
"Get out! Both of you!" I yelled, though my face was so hot I felt like I was melting.
Uncle Dohyun chuckled, stepping into the room to usher Doyoon out. "Alright, Doyoon, leave her alone. She's suffering enough." He turned back to me, his gaze turning serious but kind. "But Danoh-ya, in all seriousness... that boy, Hanbin. He stayed until I promised him you were safe. He's a good one. Make sure you find him at campus today and thank him properly."
"I know, I know," I muttered, my heart doing a strange little flip at the mention of his name.
As the door closed, the room fell silent again. The humor of the morning faded, replaced by a cold, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I looked down at my leg. It was neatly bandaged, the white gauze a stark reminder of the night before. But the physical wound wasn't what was bothering me. It was the reason behind it.
Jung Kai.
The memory of his face—twisted with a predatory grin before I ran—made me shiver. But there was something else. A blurry memory of the moment before Hanbin found me. I remembered Jung Kai catching up to me in the hallway, his hand grabbing my shoulder, and then... a sudden, heavy thud. I remembered the look of shock on Kai's face as he was shoved back. I had kicked him. Hard. Right in the stomach.
I had defended myself, but now, in the sobriety of the morning, terror took hold. Jung Kai was a senior. He had influence. He had friends. And I had humiliated him.
I couldn't tell Uncle. He would close the restaurant and march to the dean's office, causing a scene that would make me a target for the rest of my four years. I couldn't tell Doyoon; he'd try to act tough and get himself hurt. This was a burden I had to carry alone.
But then there was Hanbin.
How was I supposed to look at him? The "Ice Prince" of the department. The guy who never spoke to anyone. He had seen me at my absolute worst—drunk, bleeding, and sobbing like a child. He had touched my messiness, and I had touched his perfection.
"How am I going to face him?" I whispered to the empty room.
The thought of walking into the CSE building made my knees weak. I imagined the whispers. There's the girl who got drunk and had to be carried. I imagined Hanbin's cold, indifferent gaze returning, as if the warmth from the night before had been a hallucination.
I forced myself out of bed, limping slightly. I had to go. I couldn't hide forever. I had to be brave, not just for my pride, but because I owed him that much.
I dressed in the most inconspicuous outfit I owned—a baggy hoodie and a cap pulled low over my eyes. I looked in the mirror. I looked like a fugitive.
"Perfect," I muttered.
The commute to campus felt like a march to the gallows. Every time I saw a senior with a department jacket, my heart skipped a beat, fearing it was Kai. I kept my head down, my eyes fixed on the pavement, navigating the familiar paths of SNU like I was walking through a minefield.
When I finally reached the CSE building, I lingered outside the main doors. My palms were sweating. I needed to find him, but the embarrassment was a physical barrier, a wall of lead I couldn't climb.
What if he regrets helping me? What if he thinks I'm a nuisance?
I took a deep breath, clutching the straps of my backpack until my knuckles turned white. I had to do this. I had to say the words.
Thank you, Jeon Hanbin. For saving me. For carrying me. For being the only light in my darkest night.
I stepped through the doors, the cool air of the lobby hitting my face. And there, standing near the window, bathed in the same harsh morning light that had woken me up, was Hanbin.
He was alone, staring at his phone, his expression as unreadable and steady as a statue. He looked like the boy I had admired from afar for years—distant and unreachable.
My heart hammered against my ribs. One step. Just take one step, Danoh.
I started to walk toward him, my limp more noticeable now that I was nervous. He hadn't seen me yet. I opened my mouth to call his name, but my voice died in my throat.
Because just then, a group of seniors walked past him, laughing loudly. And in the middle of them, looking perfectly fine but with a dark, simmering look in his eyes, was Jung Kai.
I froze. My world narrowed down to the space between us. The danger, the embarrassment, and the boy who had carried me—all colliding in a single, suffocating moment.