During the three months since Shen Huanzhi's death, Liu'er had noticed that the relationship between Shen Hui and Xue'er had been steadily deteriorating, largely due to Xue'er's cold and indifferent attitude toward her mother. Although Shen Hui did her best to find chances to talk more with her daughter, Xue'er always either turned away or completely ignored Shen Hui's words. What worried Liu'er even more was that, as soon as school was over, Xue'er always locked herself in her room and rarely came out except for meals. Both Liu'er and Nanny You were deeply concerned. At Nanny You's suggestion, Liu'er decided to have a serious talk with Xue'er. So she asked Xue'er:
"Xue'er, are you alright? Why do you keep locking yourself in your room every day? What are you doing inside?"
"Nothing, just reading."
Liu'er glanced at the book which Xue'er was reading. It was a Russian novel, "How the Steel Was Tempered", not exactly something suitable for a girl her age. So she asked:
"Do you understand what it is about?"
Xue'er replied:
"Not really. I'm just flipping through it. Actually, I mostly read the textbooks you left behind and the books M...Mom bought for us. I can understand those."
Liu'er noticed that Xue'er lowered her head slightly when she mentioned "mom" and spoke in a much softer voice. So Liu'er said:
"Xue'er, my little sister, actually I don't quite know how to say this, but seeing the way things are between you and Aunt Hui really breaks our hearts, both mine and Nanny You's. I don't know how you think about Aunt Hui. But to me, she's like a real mother, no, more than that. She is even closer to me than my birth mother ever was. You know I never met my dad and my real mom died when I was very little. I was raised by my grandma and relied on her completely until I came to live with your family when I was seven. But what you don't know is why my grandma told me to come find Aunt Hui before she died. She told me Aunt Hui was a good person and your father, that American, was also a good person too. To be honest, I barely remember what he looked like. But I do remember most that every time he came back with things, he had quietly given me a sweet, dark piece of something that tasted like candy. He told me 'Don't tell anyone. It's our secret.' But I had never eaten that kind of candy since he left. My grandma told me that if it weren't for your parents' kindness back then, she and I would have lived terribly. Maybe we wouldn't have survived until the Liberation. That was why my grandma insisted I find your mother. Now I know that she was right. Since I came to your home, Aunt Hui has treated me like her own daughter ---- everything she does for me is the same as for you, sometimes even better than yours. Grandpa Shen and Grandma You also treated me like their own grandchildren too. They gave me, an orphan, a home... and a family."
At this point, Liu'er couldn't help but shed tears for gratitude. After hearing her words, Xue'er wiped gently away the tears on Liu'er's face, and then lowered her head and spoke in a very soft, quiet voice:
"Sister Liu'er, I understand what you mean. But that's exactly why I have been so lost. I don't know what to do. I know my mom is a good mother but everyone outside says she is a bad person, a rightist. That's not the mother I know. What is the rightist? Why did my mom become one? If everyone says that the rightists are the bad people, does that mean my mom really is a bad person? I'm so scare. I don't know whether to believe what people say outside or the mom I know in my heart. I don't know. And I don't understand why she married an American and why she gave birth someone like me. I feel I am a freak. None of my classmates want to play with me and I don't dare try to play with them. Now I understand why my grandpa never let me go outside when I was little, why he made me memorize poems, learn traditional medicine and recite the traditional herbal formulas. He was afraid that other kids would bully me. And I think Grandpa died because of me. I am a curse. That's why I hate myself. And I hate the person who gave birth to me."
At these words, Xue'er burst into tears. Liu'er gently held her in her arms and softly comforted her:
"My dear little sister, don't ever think of yourself that way. You're a good child, my wonderful little sister. We all love you. At home, Grandpa Shen, Grandma You and I have never looked down on you. Never. We all love you very, very much. And at school, you told us that your teacher likes you a lot. She didn't let others judge you by your appearance and even harshly criticized those students who bullied you. As for the foreigners, not all of them are bad people. Look at Dr. Norman Bethune, the great internationalist who came all the way from Canada to offer his support, saving the lives of our wounded soldiers. And think of the great Marx, Engels, Lenin and Stalin, they were also foreigners whose appearance were different from ours. But they have become the role models and guiding lights for all the Chinese people. So Xue'er, never belittle yourself because of how you look. Many of your classmates congratulated you when you won first place in the 400-meter and 800-meter races on Sport Day. Your teachers also praised you for being not only an excellent student but also outstanding in sports. You're able to recite many of Great Chairman Mao's poems and essays. You see, my sweet sister, you'r such an amazing girl. I'm proud of you. I think we all are proud of you. As for Aunt Hui, I really don't think you should hate her. We are still young and sometimes the adult world is just too complicated for us to fully understand. But there is one thing I do know, that is that your mother truly loved your father. And I believe she still loves him. That means something important to you. There were some reasons they couldn't stay together. Maybe when we grow up and become their ages, we'll understand it much more. So don't be too quick to judge Aunt Hui, or you might hurt her feelings and damage your relationship with her forever. To be honest, I can see that sometimes Aunt Hui also avoids you deliberately because she is afraid that her own troubles might bring pain to you. And that's exactly why you should try to comfort her. Let her know that you still care about her. Can you do that for her and for yourself?"
Xue'er nodded, a faint smile appearing on her face. Seeing that smile at last on such a sensible and precocious child, Liu'er couldn't help but smile too, as if a great weight had finally been lifted from her shoulders. To prepare for this conversation, Liu'er not only asked Nanny You but also sought advice from Uncle Tao. Although You Tao had advised her to use simple words suited for someone Xue'er's age, she had honestly struggled to find the right ones. In the end, she had no choice but simply repeated what Uncle Tao had taught her, word for word. She had been worried that Xue'er might not understand it. But judging from Xue'er's reaction, it was obvious that her worries were unnecessary. Xue'er's smile made her at ease. So she gently pulled Xue'er back into her arms again and said:
"My sweet little sister, I am really glad to see you smile again. We are still just children. It's okay if we don't understand the adult world yet. All we need to do is enjoy our childhood and be happy."
Xue'er nestled against Liu'er's chest and said softly:
"My dear sister, thank you for talking with me. Some of what you said felt a bit beyond what I thought you could come up with. But I understand what you mean. I'll get along better with Mama, I promise. Please don't worry, and tell Grandma You not to worry either. I can see you two are concerned. My sister, don't treat me like a little child anymore, alright?"
Liu'er chuckled and tapped Xue'er lightly on the forehead with a finger, pretending to scold her:
"You little rascal. By the way, do you want to come out now? Uncle Tao and Aunt Hongjun are here."
Xue'er was startled at this and asked:
"Aunt Hongjun? What is she doing here? She has always looked down on this place and never even bothered to come before."
Liu'er replied:
"She comes here for a check-up. I overheard the conversation between Grandma You and Aunt Hui. Grandma You is getting anxious because she wants to hold a grandchild but Aunt Hongjun isn't pregnant until now.
"She's here for a check-up," Liu'er replied. "I overheard Grandma You and Aunt Hui talking. Grandma You is getting anxious because she wants a grandchild, but Aunt Hongjun still isn't pregnant. So she asked Aunt Hui to take a look."
So Grandma You asked Aunt Hui to take a look." Paused, Liu'er gave Xue'er a teasing look and said, "Look, Aunt Hongjun has always looked down on Aunt Hui and spoke all sorts of awful things about her. But Aunt Hui never said anything in return. Maybe it is because of Grandma You, but Aunt Hui keeps calling her 'sister-in-law' so warmly and treats her with such kindness. Don't you think your mother is actually a good person?"
Xue'er gave a little pout but still asked:
"Uncle Tao also knows the medicine. Why didn't he examine Aunt Hongjun himself?"
"I heard he doesn't has practiced for many years, especially not gynecology. I don't know the details. Right now Aunt Hui and Aunt Hongjun are still talking outside."
Xue'er's eyes lit up with curiosity and said:
"Then I will go take her pulse too and see if my diagnosis is the same as my mom's. "
With that, she tugged at Liu'er's hand. Smiling, Liu'er let herself be pulled along as they walked out of the room together.