"Marge the Barge has a pet supposedly prize-winning bulldog named Ripper. She's trained it to attack me pretty much on sight. I have the scars on my lower legs to prove it.
"During dinner - which, though I cooked, I was not allowed to partake of it much - The Barge just kept insulting my parents. She, the fat obnoxious bitch that she is, claimed that my father was a drunk who should have been locked away long before I was even born, and my mother should have been put to death because she was obviously unable to breed anything worthwhile. No second guesses for who she meant by breed.
"And, from that, I had one of the strongest bouts of accidental magic I've ever had. I caused her to inflate like a balloon. She drifted out the door and away into the night.
"Of course, I knew what would happen if I remained. Or, at least I thought I did. The first part would be my fat uncle again attempting to beat me to death. The second, would be ignorant naffwits from the Ministry turning up to snap my wand.
"So, I fled. Both in fear of my life and fear of losing the only part of my life that mattered - my life in the wizarding world.
"I quickly grabbed my cloak, my school trunk and the very few and meagre muggle possessions I own, plus Hedwig's cage. Hedwig's my owl. I sent her off telling her to find me later. And, dragging my trunk down the stairs and out the front door as quickly as I could, I took off into the night.
"Accidentally, I summoned the Knight Bus and used that to go to the Leaky Cauldron. There, I met for the first time Cornelius Fudge. How the Hell he knew that would be where I was heading, I have no clue. But, he clearly did.
"He told me I wasn't in trouble for what had happened, but I was to stay at the Leaky for the remainder of summer. He mentioned something about Black, but I was so relieved not to have to return to the Hell that was the Dursleys I wasn't really paying as much attention as I should.
"The big advantage of staying at the Leaky, though, was I now had weeks to stay in the wizarding world without the constant threat of Dumbledore watching every move I made. And I made very good use of the time.
"The next day after arriving at the Leaky I went directly to Gringotts. And there I learned just how much of a thiefDumbledore was. And just why he was making such a big effort to keep me away from the wizarding world when not at Hogwarts, and clueless of my true heritage. "From the goblins I learned the so-called Leader of the Light was, in fact, my Ministry-appointed magical guardian. It was the first time I'd been told.
"Yet another question: Why didn't anyone tell me before that? Apparently all the teaching staff of Hogwarts knew, as did all the sitting members of the thrice-damned Wizengamot of November 1981, plus everyone who read the Daily Prophet of the next day. And not one of them bothered to let me know Albus 'He-Who-is-Above-the-Law' Dumbledore was my magical guardian? Really?Personally, I find that both hard to believe and suspect magical compulsions not to tell me, in play. "From the goblins I learned the old bastard was then using that authority to drain the Potter accounts dry. I learned of my parents' wills - which Dumbledore, using his authority as Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, had sealed and their express wishes for dispensation of their assets and me. They were blatantly ignored.
"I learned that my true and rightful magical guardian, the one who swore the Godfather's Oath before both my parents and Dumbledore himself, was in fact Sirius Black. The same Sirius Black who had been thrown into Azkaban, without even a naffing trial, at the express orders of then Minister Bagnold, Director of the DMLE Bartemius Crouch Senior and - you guessed it - Albus frigging Dumbledore!
"Are you starting to see a pattern here? I bet not."
"It quickly became obvious to me Dumbledore wanted Sirius out of the way so he had control of me and my assets. However, by this time I was not surprised at just what Dumbledore seemed to be up to. You'll learn more of just what steps Dumbledore is, or was, willing to go in a little while.
"Oh - and, Madam Bones - I have the full goblin-certified records of everything to hand to you once I'm finished here. Have no fear of that."
Up in the VIP box, Dumbledore closed his eyes, groaned and slumped his shoulders forward.
Amelia Bones viciously grinned at his back. The young Mister Potter, whatever his reasons, had just well and truly destroyed Dumbledore's reputation. The old man would be very lucky to escape a period of long term incarceration in Azkaban for this. Merlin, she thought the boy was leading up to evidence that would see the old codger forcefully tossed through the Veil.
He also seemed to be destroying not a few other reputations, while he was at it. Minerva McGonagall, Filius Flitwick, Pomona Sprout, Severus Snape and Rubeus Hagrid would also be answering rather direct and pointed questions of their own roles; especially McGonagall and Hagrid.
If he kept it up, Hogwarts might well have to close its doors for the foreseeable future.
That he had decided to use a situation where he had both a large audience and no one could lift a finger to stop him or risk their magic, she thought, was astounding.
She quietly muttered, "The boy is more Slytherin than any Slytherin I know."
"Anyways," continued Memory-Harry, "I was being told Sirius Black, the Azkaban escapee, was loose and looking to find me to kill me. After reading he was both my godfather and had taken the Godfather's Oath, I knew the second part of that wasn't true.
"I also knew that, while he had escaped Azkaban, he was not a convicted felon. As such, and according to law, all he did was escape from illegal incarceration. And that, I assure you, is not an illegal act. Check your own laws and records for proof of what I'm telling you."
After a pause to allow that to sink in, he continued, "After my three weeks of freedom in Diagon Alley, I was now better informed of just what was going on. And it was also time to return to Hogwarts.
"On the first of September we, of course, boarded the Express back to Hogwarts. We had our usual visit from Malfunction Malfoy and his two human bookends looking to make trouble before we even left the metropolitan area of Greater London. Then we settled back to relax for the rest of the journey.
"Of course, as most of you know, we were boarded by dementors. I had no idea why they had such an interest in me, but one of them entered our compartment; where it proceeded to suck all the happiness out of us.