The music pounds through my skull.
My fingers are wet and tacky, gripping a glass that holds half of a drink iv'e already spilled over myself and the floor.
Isobel is opposite me, eyeliner smudged under one of her eyes. Lipstick more around her mouth than on it.
Her dress sits comfortably on her body, black and full of straps and chains to match those combat boots she seems to wear everywhere. Her once straightened hair has now fallen victim to the humidity, and it's about three times as puffy as it was when we walked through the door.
She pulls on one of my arms, lifting it into the air as we dance to the music. All the others are nowhere to be seen. One by one they slunk away until only Isobel and I were left dancing by ourselves.
Cam thrust a drink in my hand before he disappeared, and I've done nothing but let it spill as people barge me around since.
There's a man behind isobel trying to dance with her.
She lets him every few seconds, and then giggles and pushes into my body some more.
He's handsome, with strong features and big, dark eyes. His head is shaved though, and I briefly think about Noah's full head of curls as my lips meet the glass of Cam's drink.
Isobel tips it toward my mouth, grinding against my front playfully. I laugh with her, leaning in so she stumbles against the handsome man behind her.
He says something in her ear, and my entire face lights up as she blushes and places a hand over her mouth.
= =
"I like them skinny and dead-looking," Isobel winks.
"Shut up, no you do not!" I laughed back with her, spinning in my chair.
My tablet lights up with a message from Danny but I choose to ignore it, looking back at her manic expression as she scrolls through the company Instagram.
"Dead-looking?"
"Yeah," she grins. "Little skinny, geeky, gamer boys."
"And that makes you what? Their Goth girlfriend?"
"Gamer boys love that."
"Dead-looking," I repeat, as I take a sip of my vanilla latte. "You're insane."
= =
The memory fills my head with warmth - or perhaps that's the amaretto sour I've just finished off, making my stomach hot and my lips dry.
The man behind her does look a bit gaunt, now that I'm looking. His cheeks are sunken, and his eyes have dark circles under them.
I almost want to ask him what his favourite video game is, just to see if this is the 'little, skinny, geeky, gamer boy' she's looking for.
He kisses her neck, so I turn away from them, dancing by myself and thinking about the conversation at work all those months ago.
As I reminisce, a large body slips in front of mine, gently turning me back towards Isobel.
I let him, because I'm drunk and Izzy is still laughing when I look at her.
She reaches out a hand and I hold it, swaying my hips with hers as the guy behind her continues pressing against her, kissing at her where he can.
The person behind me presses against me too and Isobel nods enthusiastically when my eyes widen.
"Hi," his voice is saying near my ear. I crane my neck to look back at him, and he immediately looks to my now gloss-less lips.
I pull back a little.
"Mackenzie!" I shout near his face, over the music. He nods and his eyes crinkle at the sides with his grin.
He looks as if he shouldn't be able to smile like that. There's a scar that runs down the side of his nose and over his lips. A deep, faint wine colour that I'm now squinting at. His head is shaved too, and there's a teardrop tattoo underneath his eye.
I spin back around and continue giggling with Isobel, letting him dance against my back but pull away whenever he gets too close.
The music thumps in my head. The flashing lights dance against my body.
The intense smell of alcohol feels familiar as it clouds my mind.
"Drink?" isobel shouts. I nod frantically, so she grabs the hands of the man glued to her back, and then my own, and begins pulling us towards the bar. I turn and grab the other man, but he's already following, eyeing us both as he says something into the other guy's ear.
The song changes, and Isobel begins shouting a drink order to the bartender.
The alcohol courses through my veins. My head feels fuzzy and warm.
I'm sweating in places that haven't seen sweat for years.
My hair feels like it's sticking to my neck. I'm sure the foundation I carefully placed is wiped onto the back of my hands, but the man that danced with me still reaches over me when the bartender holds out the card machine, pressing his bank card to it.
I look at the tattoo on the back of his hand. It's not as nice as Noah's clock face at all. Instead of the clock that I wish I was seeing, there is a black tally chart. A tally of five, all the same deep black colour, and then one long line next to them in a more faded dark grey.
There are words tattooed above his knuckles. Love. Hate.
I stumble over his feet trying to thank him for the drinks, and he picks me back up with an arm under mine.
His hand takes mine, leading me back towards the dance floor with a new drink in my hand. I reach blindly for Isobel and pull her with me, through the throngs of other drunk people squirming against each other.
The room spins and I dance some more.
My drink is mostly gone within a few minutes, so I get more into the dancing. I lift my arms and move my hips, jumping up and down with isobel in excitement when a song comes on that i recognise from uni.
Teardrop, as I will nickname him, dances with me, and whenever I pull away from him, he smirks and watches me until I return.
He isn't overbearing; doesn't try to kiss me like the other guy with Isobel, and so when his hands circle around my shoulders and he leans over me to shout something at the other guy, I let him.
He smells like alcohol too, towering over me like this. Like cheap cider was spilled all over his clothes and dried off before he started dancing with me.
It makes my eyes water, but I blink the feeling away and try to focus on Isobel's silent communication.
I shake my head when I don't understand her mouthed words.
You have a type, she's drunkenly mouthing, smirking at me.
My thoughts instantly go to Noah. I'd like to think it's because he's just the most recent guy that I've fallen over my feet for, but lately I can't seem to get him out of my head at all. Glancing at Teardrop's face next to mine, I compare them.
She's wrong.
Noah looks much sweeter than this guy - Teardrop's dark eyes and shaved head make him look like a criminal, and I'm starting to second guess the tally chart on his hand too.
He continues shouting at his friend, huffing when said friend continues to kiss Isobel's neck and ignore him. His body presses further into mine, arms around my midsection.
And then I catch Cam's eye.
He's got Mia plastered to his front. Emily is to their left, dancing like I am but against a girl I've never met. Cam frowns and shakes his head, looking almost a little alarmed as his eyes scan the club behind me.
Suddenly, he smiles, and then the body around me disappears.
Teardrop is gone.
I spin around as Cam mouths something to me, and there he is, standing centimeters away with Noah's hand on his arm. Noah side-eyes me, scowls, and then holds out his hand.
I take it. Because it's Noah and he looks hot when he's mad.
Are you jealous, Noah?
I'd be jealous.
Teardrop and he both laugh together. Noah doesn't even look at me as he pulls me into his side and snakes an arm around my front. His free hand is wrapped around the neck of a beer bottle, and there is a half-smoked cigarette tucked between two of the fingers that press against my midriff.
The clock tattoo is soothing to see again.
"Hey!" I hear Isobel yell. "We're trying to dance here, Zeus!"
I laugh at her as she attempts to pull me from his grasp, but he continues speaking to Teardrop, letting his arm secure me in place.
Teardrop briefly looks at me. The second he looks away, Noah's arm tightens even more.
I put a hand on the wrist across my stomach, feeling the soft skin there. My thumb rubs against the clock-face in circles.
"Kenzie!" Isobel whines, trying to pull me away from him. "Dance with me."
I could probably pull away from him if I wanted to. I doubt he would try to keep me here against my will.
But being pressed against him like this, feeling the solid chest press into my back and the bare skin of his arms against my own, is even more intoxicating that the alcohol I've been consuming all night.
Teardrop walks away with his friend, not speaking another word to myself or Isobel. She steps in front of me and laughs, swinging her hips; already forgetting they were even here.
Cam, Mia and Emily appear next to us, speaking to each other. Noah starts shouting in my brother's ear, eyeing me warily, speaking words I can't hear. Cam gives me a look that I haven't seen since I lived with our mother, and I had no idea that they shared this furious expression with each other.
Noah's arm doesn't release me, so I start dancing against him.
My skin is hot to the touch and I'm still overheated and dizzy. Definitely drunk. More drunk than I probably should be, but I remember the praise that my boss gave me after my meeting, and it feels well-deserved.
I earned being this drunk.
I finish my drink, depositing the cup on a nearby table, and continue swaying my hips, holding Noah's wrist in one hand and threading my fingers through Isobel's with the other.
Noah and Cam speak next to me, but his attention should definitely be on me.
I need his attention on me, now that he has scared Teardrop away.
I wish I could smell that nice aftershave he uses, or hear his deep voice in my ear. I'd even settle for just feeling his body a little firmer against mine.
I give Isobel a wink and press my bum back onto him.
His arm loosens but doesn't leave my waist. He still speaks to Cam, ignoring me, and I turn and give him an angry look.
Isobel steps closer to us, swaying her hips and sipping on her drink. She's smudged even more eyeliner under her eyes but she doesn't seem to care at all.
She's still giving me that cheeky grin and giggling as she pulls my arm into the air and loops it around Noah's neck.
Cam gives me a pointed look and I pull it back down again.
I'm drunk enough that it makes me laugh too, resting my forehead against Noah's chest. I stumble backwards into Isobel when Noah finally releases me.
"You're free! Let's go!" she screams, pulling on my arm almost manically as she begins running towards the bar.
Noah appears behind me again as she's screaming her order to the poor, young bartender.
His breath fans over my ear, and he loops a piece of my hair out of the way so he can speak to me properly.
"He's bad news, stay away. I mean it."
I bite my lip. "So you're jealous?"
"What?" he asks.
I turn to him, stumbling into his chest. He steadies me but keeps his face close to mine, his mouth going towards my ear again. Isobel hands me a shot before he can say anything and I drunkenly squeal and wiggle my shoulders.
We take them together, arms interlinked, as Noah watches.
"You have a staring problem," I tell him once the shot glass is out of my hand.
"You're blackout."
"How dare - more shots?"
Isobel and I take another. Noah rubs his hand down his face and looks back into the crowd of people.
He still looks incredible. His hair looks as bouncy as ever, falling over glassy green eyes that I want staring back at me right now, instead of the fleeting looks I'm getting as he searches for something beyond the waves of people in front of us. His t-shirt hugs every curve of his upper body, accentuating those muscles that I can't seem to get away from.
"Stop drinking now," he commands, pulling the empty shot glass from my hand and placing it back on the bar.
His authoritative tone goes straight to my thighs.
"Stop being so hot now!"
Isobel bursts into a fit of hysterics next to my ear.
It is funny.
Very funny, because I know I shouldn't have said it. Cam wouldn't like it at all, but I can't help the laughter that bubbles up from my chest either.
"That's going to be embarrassing in the morning," I tell Isobel. "Do you think he heard?"
She looks between Noah and I, bites on her lip, and then spins back to the bar to order more shots. Her dress rides up a little, so I reach down to smooth it out over her thighs.
Noah is still next to me when I stand back up straight.
I press my chest against his, smiling up at him through my lashes. They're long and thick tonight, and I made sure that there were no mascara clumps to distract from them.
He should feel privileged to be looking at these beautiful, long eyelashes.
I should tell him as much too.
I wrap my arms around his neck.
"What're you doing now?" he asks, wrapping his own arms around my midsection cautiously. His head tilts away from my own. "Mackenzie?"
"My name sounds nice like that."
"Like what?"
"When you say it."
His eyes blow wide. His bottom lip disappears into his mouth, and I reach my hand up towards his jaw.
"You're wasted."
"You're-" the room spins.
I shouldn't have done those shots - Isobel certainly shouldn't be ordering more right now. My throat burns, my stomach feels hot and bloated and too full of liquid. "Im going to be sick. . . Maybe-"
His eyes widen again, and my arms drop down from his neck.
I grin at him, and then I turn around and spew, covering Isobel's bare legs.