Man… was my dramatic entrance really that shocking? The three behind me were all making the same dumbfounded faces. Whatever. No time for that now, it was time to wipe out my best friends who clearly wanted to hug me (TL; Kill me).
So, out of pure kindness and love… I will return the favor with violence.
Lots of violence.
"Do not worry, ladies!" I said, glancing back at their speechless faces. "I will handle the rest."
I turned my attention to the five Shuuki charging straight at me. My claws extended , and I slashed the air. An energy blade shaped like a tiger's claw tore forward, erasing them completely in a single stroke.
"Let's get this party started, my friends," I shouted at the Shuukis who clearly couldn't understand a word I was saying. "The Kamen Rider Cleaning Service is now officially open for business!"
I sprang forward, tearing into their ranks, demolishing bodies as I moved. Their attacks were sloppy, predictable, easy to dodge, and even more easier to punish.
That stalker woman, at least that's what my partner calls her, the one in the kimono was commanding the Shuuki. They obeyed her without hesitation, just as Isadora had said.
Honestly, I might've been flattered. A cute woman sending me a gift like this? Is this how appreciation works now?
Summoning an outrageous number of Shuuki from a freaking card?
I twisted past four of them as they lunged for me, then answered politely by beheading them one after another.
From a distance, the Seventh Unit was completely short-circuiting, their minds struggling to process what they were seeing.
Shushu snapped back to her senses and pointed at the figure tearing through the horde.
"Where, who, when, why and lastly, what the heck is that?!" she shouted, staring between Himari and Nei.
Himari was in the same boat as Shushu; she couldn't offer any plausible answer. She could only shake her head in disbelief. But honestly—who was that? He was slaughtering the Shuuki, shredding them like paper.
Yet the biggest question gnawing at Himari wasn't that.
It was how he was moving like that.
Even through her initial confusion, one thing was unmistakably clear: the voice echoing from inside that suit was male. And that alone made no sense. It was common, everyday knowledge and an unshakable fact that men couldn't receive blessings from peaches.
That very limitation was the reason the gender balance of the world had shifted in the first place.
So how, in any possible world, could a man pull off even half of the absurd stunts this guy was performing?
None of it added up.
"I don't know who he is," Nei said, staring at the battlefield as the fight—no, the massacre—continued to unfold. "But he's kinda cool!"
Her eyes sparkled.
Himari and Shushu turned toward the girl perched on the jeep, their gazes filled with curiosity.
"Cool?" Shushu echoed, eyeing Nei's beaming expression. "Why though? I mean, his suit is kinda neat, but is there another reason?"
Nei laughed shyly and scratched the back of her head.
"It just reminded me of those mysterious warriors I used to watch," she said. "You know, a group of guys and girls in a suit who fight bad guys to defeat the great demon amazonian king… Jeff Musk!"
Himari offered a wry smile as Nei punched the air in an adorably enthusiastic display, then turned her attention back to the man in question.
Noticing a small cluster of Shuuki breaking off and heading toward them, Himari decided to provide a bit of support. She raised her weapon and fired, cutting them down while the suited man dealt with the main course.
"I really need to report this later," Himari muttered as the sharp crack of gunfire rang in her ears.
Back to the man in the suit—the Shuuki numbers were nearly depleted. Realizing how dire their situation had become, the remaining creatures began to converge, clumping together in desperation.
"Oh?" I snorted. "They wanna go giant?"
A grin tugged at my lips beneath the helmet.
"Well, that works out. Saves me the trouble—I can wipe you all out at once."
As they crawled over one another, fusing into a single mass, I couldn't help but feel a flicker of fascination. Even now, their instinct was the same: merge into one entity when cornered.
I slowly lifted my gaze. The number of individual Shuuki dwindled, but in exchange, a massive form began to rise
Taller, bulkier, and far more imposing.
"Damn," I muttered. "That thing's gotten long and thick after growing."
The towering Shuuki finished forming, looming directly in front of me.
It looked at me, I just looked at it back.
"You wanna go big, boy?" I said, craning my head upward. I raised my hand and flipped the Shuuki off with a middle finger. "Suck your mama's tits—your size doesn't scare me for shit!"
The Shuuki, naturally, ignored every word and verbal abuse I gave it. It reeled back its massive arm and swung.
I leapt backward just in time. The punch slammed into the ground where I'd been standing, and in an instant a massive crater burst open in front of me.
"MUAHAHAHAHA!" I laughed, pointing at the destruction. "What, you triggered, mama's boy? I knew that soggy bitch I saw in the convenience store yesterday was your mom!"
I kept laughing, fully aware that the Shuuki couldn't understand a single word I was saying and me being fully aware of how stupidly corny it all sounded.
Still, if I was going to kill the thing, I might as well enjoy myself.
Reaching to my side, I pulled out two Core Medals.
"Up you go," I muttered, swapping out my current set and bringing the scanner across them.
[𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕒]
[𝕂𝕒𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕣𝕚]
[ℂ𝕙𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕒𝕙]
The familiar rings of light spiraled around my body as the symbols of the scanned medals appeared before me, merging into a single emblem before slamming into my chest.
My suit shifted instantly. My torso transformed into pure green—distinct from my previous yellow tiger. Sharp twin blades extended from each forearm while the cheetah medal reshaped my legs, coating my feet in bright yellow built for speed.
I rolled my shoulders, blades glinting.
"Alright," I said, staring up at the towering Shuuki. "Round two."
The Shuuki tried to punch me again. But this time, the moment its fist slammed into the ground, my legs flared with light—and I took off.
I sprinted straight up its arm.
"Get ready to turn into Shuuki sashimi!" I shouted as I ran, the blades on my forearms igniting with a sharp glow.
I became a living whirlwind.
Like a tornado of steel, I tore through its body as I moved towards its arms, back, torso.
Nothing was spared.
Every step carved another line of destruction into the massive creature.
"ORA ORA ORA ORA!!"
My voice echoed as I butchered the mountain of flesh beneath my feet.
The Shuuki thrashed wildly, trying to shake me off, but it was useless. I only smirked and slashed across the back of its neck to end it—
Then froze.
"…Shit. I forgot this isn't a Titan."
Yeah. Wrong series. Why the hell did I even try that?
Whatever. I'd just finish it properly.
I kicked off, hit full speed, and tore down its body, running along its legs while slicing through every last piece of it. Flesh parted cleanly under my blades, the massive form collapsing piece by piece.
With one final dash, I cleaved through its head like a ripe fruit.
Not a single sound escaped it.
The enormous body tipped forward and crashed into the ground with a thunderous thud, the impact shaking the field as dust billowed into the air.
Silence followed.
Himari, Shushu, and Nei coughed lightly, waving the dust away as their view finally cleared.
"Is it dead?" Shushu asked. Even with the Shuuki reduced to… that, it was better to be safe than sorry.
"I'd be more surprised if it did survive after that," Himari replied as the dust slowly settled. She let out a quiet breath. "Still… that guy is strong."
She hates to admit it. The man who had appeared out of nowhere had defeated a giant Shuuki as if it were nothing—no hesitation, no visible struggle.
"There he is!" Nei suddenly shouted, pointing.
Standing atop the fallen corpse was a lone figure.
Looking down, I saw the defense force unit staring up at me.
It's showtime baby.
I coughed lightly and struck yet another ridiculous pose. God, I hated how I was starting to enjoy this.
Isadora had definitely done this to me.
"In the blackest day, in the brightest night!" I shouted dramatically. "No Shuuki shall escape my sight!"
"Kamen Rider OOO! At your service!"
"..."
Shushu and Himari stared in silence.
"Oh! Kamen Rider!" Nei clapped enthusiastically. "Thank you for helping us!"
…Damn it. The kid was adorable. Too adorable.
Why the hell were you even here, girl? This is Mato, not a playground!
Shushu's eyes suddenly widened as something clicked in her head.
"Wait a goddamn minute!" she shouted, pointing at me. "That's the Lantern Oath!"
"Lantern oath?" Himari asked. "What's that?"
"A superhero thing from comics," Shushu said. "That's all you need to know!"
As Himari and Shushu launched into their own argument, Nei tried to get their attention.
"U-uhm, you two?"
"What?" they asked in unison.
"…He's gone."
"...WHAT?!"
Shushu and Himari whipped their heads around, scanning the area—but the Kamen Rider was nowhere to be seen.
"Tch!" Shushu cursed. "We got distracted."
"Can you use your eyes, Nei?" she asked.
"I tried," Nei replied, shaking her head. "But something's interfering."
That made Himari pause.
Something interfering with her?
With the gate finally closed after hours of defense—and a mysterious individual appearing and vanishing just as suddenly—the day left Himari with more questions than answers. Standing around here wouldn't solve anything.
"Guess I'll be having a fun conversation with our chief later," Himari sighed.
She glanced back at Nei in the passenger seat. "You buckled up?"
"Yes!" Nei replied.
"Ready here too," Shushu said, revving her motorcycle.
"Then let's head back," Himari said, starting the jeep and pulling away.
======
======
From a distance, I watched the defense force vehicles disappear. My coat fluttered in the wind as I stood there, one hand tucked into my pocket.
"Well," I muttered to myself, "that was something."
I glanced sideways at Isadora standing nearby.
"Let's call it a day."
"Damn right," Isadora replied without hesitation. "I wanna watch the new season trailer of Ouran High."
…Wait.
Ouran High?
I froze.
"You're lying," I said slowly. "You have to be lying. Please don't give me hope like this."
"I'm deadass serious," she said, completely unfazed. "It was announced just last week, though."
My eyes widened.
"Then what are we waiting for?!" I snapped. "Let's go home—now!"
I swear, if this woman was bluffing, I was banning her from buying popsicles and ice cream for a month.
No exceptions.