09:03
Xiao stood up from the table, unwilling to listen to any more of Venti's excuses. His "departure" had been almost predictable, but somewhere deep down there still lingered a hope that the guy would come to his senses and not destroy the band that had become, for at least one person, a chance to pursue something he genuinely loved. So watching the one who had once dragged both Kazuha and Xiao into "ANEMO" now ruin all their plans by leaving, abandoning his friends to swim alone in this mess, was simply unbearable. Xiao felt his own helplessness, which echoed inside as irritation and a stab of guilt: he'd known, he'd suspected, that sooner or later Venti would leave the band. Because that's just who this guy was—an unreliable, carefree idiot who loved dragging others into his adventures and then just bailing.
Xiao left the café, stepping out to his usual smoking spot where, just five minutes ago, he and Kazuha had stood discussing the upcoming conversation that turned out to be so short and absurd it was almost laughably stupid.
Xiao pulled out his cigarettes, lighting another and taking a quick drag, trying to at least slightly, even if just for a couple of minutes, ease his already heavy head.
Venti…
He hadn't been able to talk to him back then, and he wouldn't be able to now. He had to suppress the disappointment that had settled in six months ago when Venti announced they should break up. The problem had been so banal that when Kazuha and his sister asked, Alatus only replied, "We're too different," because Xiao really didn't want to delve into the details and figure out how it had happened. And where this resentment and this… lump in his throat had come from, reminding him every time he recalled what Venti had meant to him.
"I'm not sure if this will help, but… it's worth a try!"
Xiao was hit by another memory. Words once spoken by the bard on one of those empty, unremarkable evenings. When they sat on the balcony, drinking beer and chatting about nothing, meaningless and simple things. Xiao remembered those meetings too vividly because that's when he'd found the reason…
The reason he'd agreed to become part of "ANEMO."
Once, Xiao had been the guitarist in "Yaksa," and all the problems still haunting Alatus stemmed from there. From the once-famous rock band, or rather, from the tragedy tied to it that happened a couple of years ago. A year of therapy, care from his uncle and stepsister, and then Venti with his spontaneous desire to start a "club for lovers of drinking music"—all of it had delayed the aftermath of a serious trauma.
When Xiao accepted the bard's offer to become the guitarist in "ANEMO," he hoped it would help him get through the boring university routine he'd enrolled in at the urging of his doctor and relatives. And… the new band succeeded. Largely thanks to Venti's and Kazuha's care. The latter had a full-blown savior complex, but Xiao could hardly mention it. Who was he to criticize someone else's head issues when he himself had a standing appointment with a therapist for the next couple of years? Kaedehara was too kind and polite, and his openness became one of the reasons Xiao even left the house and dragged himself to this damn university.
This year Xiao had spent with the "ANEMO" guys in an endless stream of rehearsals had passed so carefree and easily only because of his friends. Their group of four students had started very spontaneously: they found a rehearsal space at the university (thanks to Hu Tao, who had connections in the student council) and began meeting two or three times a week. And they probably would've just kept having fun, drinking, and hanging out if one day the student council hadn't shown up, announcing they'd have to perform at the fall university festival. The news hit like thunder on a clear day because the musicians weren't ready—at all. Venti's first thought was, of course, to refuse, but… it wasn't that simple.
The guys had to come up with a setlist in a short time, rehearse, and get used to real work instead of casual hangouts. It turned out to be fun: now the band had a goal, which everyone realized to varying degrees. Kazuha and Xiao, as the most responsible, were very focused on rehearsals. Kaedehara was also the most nervous because it was his first real time on stage as a backing vocalist. Venti took it easier, and Heizou just enjoyed it. He was in such constant excitement that he barely messed up during rehearsals and was ready to practice every day. They really had to meet every evening after classes for the last week before the festival.
Finally prepared and naming themselves "ANEMO," the guys took the stage and absolutely killed the festival. Unexpectedly even to themselves, they performed so well that at the end they were asked to play a few more times. A flood of photos and stories quickly spread across social media, and the next day the band got its first fan account. Such rapid popularity came from Xiao's presence. He already had a fanbase that had been closely watching him for the past year because of… what happened in "Yaksa."
That thought still wouldn't let Xiao go. He didn't want to think about what had driven him back to public music because it would mean giving in to that sticky feeling of guilt again…
"Albedo, wait!"
Xiao was pulled from his thoughts by someone's overly bright voice, but he didn't raise his eyes to the source of the noise. The guy just kept standing silently, smoking, hoping he wouldn't draw anyone's attention while pondering what to do next. As he'd promised Kazuha—Xiao wasn't leaving the band; he wouldn't abandon his friends, not until they decided otherwise themselves.
And Alatus guessed why Venti had decided to leave. With the contract coming, their "garage rock" and all its romance—these evenings with optional rehearsals and drinking whatever, their endless talks, complaints about studies and personal lives, their relaxed and free, simple routine—would all just disappear. Venti didn't want to change anything, didn't want to accept offers from agencies, venues, or studios, didn't want to follow anyone's rules.
He was abandoning "ANEMO" for the same reason he'd once abandoned… Xiao.
Alatus clenched the cigarette pack in his hand, squeezing it so hard it seemed it would collapse into dust. He didn't notice the bustle of people coming and going from the café because a wave of anger was crashing over him. That damn bard had to ruin everything again…
A sudden dull pain pierced Xiao's temples. It came on so sharply that the guy nearly choked on the cigarette smoke; Xiao opened his amber eyes, staring at the ground, trying to grasp reality so he wouldn't just pass out from the crushing pain. His skull felt like it was squeezing his brain, and a suffocating lump formed in his chest, stuck somewhere at the level of his jugular notch.
"Fuck…"
Xiao closed his eyes again, furrowing his brows, trying to push through this moment pierced by the loudest, deafening ringing in his head. The guy didn't understand what was happening, why his body was simply being crushed by air, as if he'd become a thousand times heavier…
"Xiao… hey? You okay?"
Hearing his name spoken with such obvious tenderness made the guy open his eyes and lift them to the source of the gently approaching calm. Breathing immediately became easier, as if someone had filled his lungs with fresh air.
The hazy, almost indistinguishable events that followed left only a feeling of loss. In an instant, Xiao saw nothing more. He flinched sharply and flicked away the cigarette.
Fuck it. He'd really hit rock bottom. His head was gone.
How much had he slept today? An hour? Two? Yesterday? Probably not much more. Lately he'd been sleeping even worse than before. He could've slept, but the conversation Venti had called them to…
Xiao slowly ran a hand over his face, feeling such deadly exhaustion that even his limbs trembled from weakness. He needed to leave, needed to sleep urgently or take a sleeping pill (because Xiao slept very restlessly and woke up every hour), ask Heizou to punch him hard enough to knock him out for a couple of days. His damn body was playing tag with him: when they went to bed, not a wink of sleep, but the moment he left the house—trips and hallucinations from sleep deprivation.
"Xiao…"
The image of a person appeared before his eyes again; the brunet shook his head, turning and scanning around him for anyone. A golden glint flashed somewhere between the tree shadows and the not-so-warm light of the autumn sun. Xiao froze because a familiar voice reached him. The same one that had asked if he was okay. The guy tried to catch the fleeting reflection with his gaze—a soft wheat color, like a field bathed in the evening sun setting beyond the horizon—but everything swam before his eyes again, as if after a powerful blow to the head.
Xiao squeezed his eyes shut, trying once more to endure the terrifying surge of dull pain that now rolled through his entire body stronger than before. Existence became a heavy burden, and his head pulled toward the ground like ballast. Xiao felt the ground beneath his feet turning into unstable swamp, and he lost balance, giving in to the suffocation and terrifying, unbearable exhaustion.
"Xiao!"
12:15
"Shit!" Kazuha bolted out of the café doors and rushed to Xiao, whom a… guy? had caught just in time. Kaedehara watched for a moment as the young man (whom he'd mistaken for a girl) with a long golden braid and his friend—a guy with a short light ponytail—tried to hold the guitarist up. Kazuha reached them along with Heizou.
"Alatus, what the hell are you doing?" Shikanoin lightly shook his friend by the shoulder, but he clearly wasn't in a state to respond. A few people had already gathered around the café entrance with worried and curious looks. The guys decided to carry Xiao's body to a nearby bench to sit him down because in this state the brunet's body was impossibly heavy.
"Probably a faint," the second blond with the short ponytail calmly concluded as he helped seat Alatus. Beside him on the bench sat the young man with the braid, supporting the sleeping brunet by the shoulders and resting his head on his own—so caringly, as if he'd known Xiao for years and allowed such closeness.
"He didn't sleep today," Kazuha added, watching this and trying to ignore the golden-haired one's actions. Something else was more important right now.
"And probably not for three days before that," Heizou snorted, pulling his phone from his jacket pocket. "I'm calling an ambulance."
"Wait, don't," came a confident voice from the guy with the long braid. His face showed so much worry that Kazuha felt uneasy. Who was this guy? How did he know Xiao? "He hates doctors and hospitals, just… take Xiao home," his voice trembled slightly, betraying all the anxiety he was trying to hide. Heizou and Kazuha exchanged silent glances, evaluating the stranger's words, both skeptical of the suggestion, which didn't go unnoticed by the speaker. Kazuha immediately remembered this guy's face—he studied international relations, and Kaedehara had definitely seen that long blond braid at one of the university parties. Hard to forget something like that.
"If he wakes up in a hospital bed, he'll bolt immediately. Just trust me."
"Aether's right!" came a loud voice from the crowd, followed by a familiar figure with twin braids pushing through the onlookers. Venti looked very worried and jittery; he rushed to Xiao, taking him by the shoulders:
"Look at me, Xiao…"
"He's asleep," the blond standing nearby declared—the one with the ponytail. "Take him home, let him sleep it off."
"Heizou, call a taxi," Kazuha asked him.
"This is fucked. How long do you have to not sleep to pass out right on the street?" Heizou opened the app to call a car.
"You keep going like that, you'll crash too," Venti frowned, to which Heizou took a deep breath:
"Better shut up," the drummer tapped his phone screen. "If not for your stupid ideas about early morning meetings on a weekend, we wouldn't be here with a half-dead Xiao in our arms."
As harsh as Heizou was, he was damn right again.
The guys waited for the taxi, and Kazuha and Heizou tried to get Xiao into the back seat. A couple more people watched, worried the two might make their friend worse. Carefully, with combined effort, they laid the brunet's heavy body down, trying to position him as gently and comfortably as possible in a seated position.
"I'll text," Kaedehara threw to Venti and the new acquaintances, then sat beside Xiao, supporting his friend and resting his head on his own shoulder. Heizou silently walked around the car and sat on the other side, knowing Kazuha couldn't carry their friend to bed alone.
Venti, standing the whole time, watched his bandmates anxiously. He didn't know what to say or do to help, so he just tried not to get in the way, occasionally glancing at Xiao's face in hopes of seeing signs of consciousness.
"Kazuha," the one with the long braid called to the guy as Kaedehara was about to close the door.
"I texted Hu Tao," the blond looked very worried. "She'll meet you at home."
Kazuha just nodded briefly, expressing some gratitude in that nod, not even wondering how this guy knew Xiao's sister.
Unknown time
Alatus woke to a sharp pain in his neck. He opened his eyes wide, almost fearfully staring into pitch darkness. His gaze tried to focus, to latch onto something, but there was no light in the room at all. Xiao closed his eyes again, giving himself a few seconds to come to. The pain in his neck reminded him of its presence again, rolling unpleasantly somewhere at the base.
What the hell… what happened?
Xiao slowly opened his eyes and exhaled noisily, catching sight of the familiar ceiling light fixture. Everything was fine—he was home. The guy tried to sit up in bed, but the pain in his back and neck wouldn't allow even that. Hissing quietly, the brunet grabbed the aching spot at the curve of his neck with his palm and still lifted himself. He began to understand the cause of such sharp pain: his head had slid off the pillow while he slept, and from the wrong position, his neck had stiffened. How much time had passed?
Xiao reached for his phone, which by habit should be on the nightstand. He had to strain because his bed was too wide, and he couldn't just reach it. Finally hooking the gadget with his fingers (which was charging next to a thoughtfully left glass of water), the guy lifted it to his face, wincing at the sudden bright screen light. The clock showed "16:59" in big numbers. He hadn't slept that long, just… his gaze caught the day of the week. "Sunday."
He'd slept over a day.
Xiao sighed, setting the gadget aside, and ran both hands over his face, pushing back the hanging strands of hair. From his memories… fucking nothing. How had he gotten home? How had he gone to bed? What happened yesterday? It seemed Venti had called them to the café… Right, that idiot did something yesterday that made Kazuha… Kazuha.
Xiao quickly returned to his phone, checking notifications. From Kaedehara there were three missed calls and a couple of messages. Xiao opened the app to read and try to piece together yesterday's events. Besides Kazuha, Xiao noticed messages from his uncle, sister, Heizou, a few unknown contacts, and some group chats. Xiao noted that the "ANEMO" group chat had way too many messages, but the brunet didn't open it. He was only interested in one conversation.
Kazuha, 11:08
Xiao, how are you? Text me when you wake up
Kazuha, 13:22
Hu Tao said you're still sleeping, please don't forget to reply when you wake up. I'm worried…
Xiao quickly typed a response: "I'm awake, everything's fine. What the hell happened yesterday? Did I pass out?" Since his friend wasn't online, the brunet decided to reply to the others. Zhongli promised to visit tomorrow, Hu Tao asked what Xiao wanted for dinner, Heizou promised to beat up Venti because "that bastard acts like it's not his fault you got fucked up yesterday…"
Fucked up. That's how it was.
The drummer also asked about his well-being, and his last message read: "Now I'm definitely fixing my sleep schedule because this is fucked."
Xiao replied to everyone with short, one-word messages and was about to set the phone aside to put his head back on the pillow when one of the unknown contacts with the nickname "Sora" caught his eye, asking: "Hey! You okay?"
Alatus opened the chat, and besides that message, there was nothing else—not even a profile picture. Xiao had no idea who it was and didn't reply, but before he could let go of the phone, a call came in. It was Kazuha.