Chapter 3: If You Don't Mind, I'd Love to Call You My Godfather
"Godfather! Just accept me already, Godfather"
At the Rubik Household
Rubik knelt beside Jiraiya, clutching his thigh tightly with both hands, his face smeared with snot and tears as he rubbed it against Jiraiya's leg.
Jiraiya, sporting a huge lump on his head, looked even more grim on his already bruised and swollen face."Get off me! You little brat! When you first recognized this sage, you didn't say anything like that. You came at me with a firecracker instead—look at this massive bruise on my left eye! And you kicked me again, probably to make it symmetrical. What, you want me to look like a panda?"
Rubik immediately stopped his wailing and switched to a cheeky grin as he sidled closer.
"My brain didn't catch up at first—it was pure instinct! Now that I've come to my senses, I'm here to apologize, right? And I put in a good word for you with Auntie Fragrant, too. That has to count for something."
"Bullshit!!! You were the one blocking my way, that's why I couldn't escape. Otherwise, how could that 200-pound lady catch up to this sage? And what good word? Didn't she find my wallet while frisking me and take it? All because of you, kid—I don't even have money for an inn now."
"Aw, come on, don't be so stingy. You're embarrassed that a famous ninja like you only had that little cash in your pouch? You might as well have handed it over directly. Besides, you were in the wrong first—giving her some compensation was the least you could do."
"Wah! I don't care! That was my key research funds! Without money, how am I supposed to sneak peeks at the hot springs in the inns?!"
"Uh, did you just say 'sneak peeks'?"Rubik jumped onto a stool and pointed at Jiraiya.
"Nope, you misheard. It's research—research!"
...Grrr~~
Their stomachs rumbled in perfect sync, protesting these two clowns. Come to think of it, they'd been so busy with the shameless pleading that they'd forgotten to eat.
Glancing at Jiraiya awkwardly rubbing his belly nearby, Rubik tilted his head and said,"You sit tight right there. I'll go fry up a couple dishes for you."
Jiraiya perked up instantly."Finally, some sensible words from you! Ahem, well, I won't stand during the ceremony then."
While Rubik headed to the kitchen to cook, Jiraiya didn't just sit idle—he wandered around the house."I only came to the Land of Water to investigate intel on that 'Akatsuki' group. Passing through this village, I figured I'd gather some material on the side. Never thought I'd flip the script like this—good thing no one who knows me saw. But weird... how does such a small village have a ninja kid this young?" Jiraiya mused.
He wasn't just goofing around with a kid for fun. Normally, he'd have used Body Flicker and bolted from a mess like this. But this brat felt different.Rubik had already refined chakra and mastered the Body Flicker Technique.
Even in Konoha, kids his age who could pull that off were rare. For it to happen in some remote backwater village? Way too suspicious.
That piqued Jiraiya's curiosity, so he'd followed the kid's lead and come to his house.Heh heh, you little punk. Feel honored—you've caught the interest of one of the Legendary Sannin, Lord Jiraiya.
Jiraiya continued his "investigation." He paused in front of a cupboard topped with a photo: a red-haired girl holding a 4-year-old black-haired boy. They wore simple clothes, but their faces beamed with bright smiles.
"This girl... an Uzumaki clan survivor? The kid she's holding must be him. Judging by the age, probably his big sister? Eh, I'll ask later. So is the kid Uzumaki too? Black hair, though. Whatever— we've got blondes, so no big deal."
In the Kitchen
While cooking, Rubik checked his system."System, you there?"
"..."
"Hey?"
"[DING] Sorry, lagged out. I'm here, Host."
"What the—do you have to make it this realistic?"
Rubik felt speechless. This system better not lag during a fight.
"Anyway, tell me your functions first."
"Sure. This system's main feature is Ninja Recruitment. When you encounter ninja from the game, it auto-unlocks their in-game forms.Forms are ranked S, A, B, C. Host accumulates shards by defeating or training with them to recruit and gain all their skills.Defeating one gets you 50 shards for that ninja's form plus an experience card. Every 10 shards after half unlocks a 3-day trial. Killing them outright gives a full card for their current era."
"Whoa, that's awesome! What else you got?" Rubik was hyped, expectations soaring for more features.
"Other abilities are still in development. No rush, okay, dear~"
"Huh? That's it? Fine, learn to be content—this alone is OP! My beef-free good life is here!"
Rubik brandished his cleaver, striking a cool pose with a flourish.
"Amaterasu~ Tch, I'm basically Sasuke."
"Oh yeah, didn't I just 'meet' Jiraiya? Close enough to count as a win, right? Can I unlock his form? Even a trial card works!"
"Yes, Host. Unlocked."
"Wait, that counts as a defeat? I was joking..."Rubik excitedly opened the recruitment interface.
Sure enough, Jiraiya's profile showed 50 shards.
"Nice~"
"System, activate the experience card!"He couldn't wait to feel a powerhouse's strength.
Jiraiya, not far away, suddenly shivered, sensing danger approaching.
He felt it! This immense power! A mysterious energy surged to his dantian—he could sense the force churning in his gut.
"Here it comes!"
A messy string of hand seals."Fire Style: Dragon Fire—"
Pffft~~ (fart noise)
Rubik swore a flock of crows flew over his head....Nearby,
Jiraiya:"What was that? Oh, a spider? This kid really doesn't clean up. Speaking of, when's dinner?"
...In the kitchen,
Rubik raged at the system. No doubt about it—he'd embarrassed himself."You trash system! One function, no newbie pack—fine. But false advertising? Where's my experience card? Did you pocket it? Speak up!"
"nno...i am innocent! I told you, I'm the Naruto Mobile Recruitment System. Unlocks are from the mobile game versions, obviously."
"Mobile game? What's the difference?"
Rubik puzzled over the new knowledge flooding his brain. Not bad—it was expanding his mind.Soon, he processed it all, then grabbed a potato from the cutting board and smashed it down hard.
"Dammit! Just two skills and an ultimate? Treating me like a damn Japanese player? Where's the full skillset?!"
"That's all they have in the mobile game..."The system sounded deflated, voice weaker.
"Shut it. With my bond to Godfather, when can't I learn these jutsu? Plus, I've got Sharingan—copy-paste any non-bloodline limit jutsu."
"Eh? Bloodline limits?" Rubik's face lit up slyly.
"System bro, my bad earlier. Quick question—can you clear it up?"
"Y-You ask."
"If I unlock Haku, even with just his three game skills, that means I get Ice Release bloodline, right? So I can train other Ice Release jutsu myself?"
"That's correct..."
"What if I unlock Tobi or Itachi? Can I use their Mangekyo abilities?"
Rubik asked excitedly."You can, but mastering them is on you. Only game skill forms are instant-use."
"That's plenty. Sorry, System bro—my mistake. Want a potato? Need a charge? We got tons of potatoes. Stick out your charging port if you want; I'll treat you big."
"H-How did you know we systems run on terminal potatoes?!"
"Damn, it really is potatoes?"