[F-Rank Dungeon – The Weeping Caverns (Boss Room)] [Time until Dungeon Collapse: 14 Minutes]
"Tutorial over," I said, trying to sound cool.
I held the pose for exactly three seconds. The blood-soaked hero, standing over the fallen beast, sword in hand. It was the kind of moment they put on the cover of magazines.
Then, the adrenaline crash hit me like a freight train loaded with bricks.
"Oh, god," I wheezed, dropping the sword. It clattered loudly against the stone. "My knees. Why are my knees vibrating?"
I collapsed onto my butt, gasping for air. My nose was still leaking blood like a cheap faucet, and my head felt like I'd just headbutted a concrete wall.
[System: Congratulations on not dying! I had a betting pool going with the admin, and I just won 50 credits. Thanks for being less incompetent than you look.]
I stared at the blue box. "Did... did the interface just roast me?"
[System: Less talking, more looting. The dungeon is unstable. Unless you want to be buried with the horse-man, I suggest you hurry up.]
Right. Looting. The best part of the job.
I scrambled over to the Centaurion's corpse. Usually, porters aren't allowed to touch Boss drops. If Kang were alive, he'd probably cut my hand off for even looking at it. But Kang was currently a piece of modern art over in the corner, so finders keepers.
I reached for the glowing orb floating above the monster's chest. The Core.
[Item Acquired: C-Rank Dark Knight Core] [Market Value: ~15,000,000 Won]
"Fifteen million," I whispered, cradling the orb like a baby. "That's... that's five months of Mom's meds."
Tears actually welled up in my eyes. I was holding a small fortune.
[System: Don't cry. It's pathetic. Also, check the skill drop.]
"Skill drop?"
Bosses rarely dropped skill books. It was like winning the lottery while being struck by lightning. I patted down the corpse, ignoring the gross squishing sounds, until my fingers brushed against a black leather book tucked into the belt.
[Skill Book: Obsidian Skin (C-Rank)] [Type: Passive / Defensive] [Effect: Hardens skin to resist physical attacks.]
"Jackpot," I grinned. "I can sell this for another twenty mil—"
[System: Or... you could eat it.]
I paused. "Excuse me?"
[System: You have the skill 'Copy Conditions'. You can't learn standard skill books because your mana channels are trash. But you can 'Deconstruct' them to feed your Control stat or unlock specific sub-skills. Go on. Eat the book.]
"I am not eating a leather book," I said flatly. "It has monster blood on it."
[System: Metaphorically, you idiot. Just hold it and say 'Deconstruct'.]
"Oh."
I felt foolish. I held the book and focused. "Deconstruct."
The book dissolved into black dust and flowed into my pores. It felt like sticking my finger in a socket.
[Skill Deconstructed.] [New Sub-Condition Unlocked: 'Surface Tension Control'.] [You can now manipulate the hardness of your own skin for 1 second intervals. Mana Cost: Low.]
"Wait," I blinked. "So I can't turn into rock, but I can... stiffen?"
[System: Please don't phrase it like that.]
I ignored the rude AI and looked at the corpse one last time. There was one more thing. The [Copy Conditions] skill I unlocked earlier.
"System, how does this work? Do I just touch him and copy his moves?"
[System: Negative. You're not a ditto. You copy the 'Logic' of the target's existence. To copy a skill, you must fulfill a specific condition related to the target's life, death, or nature.]
I looked at the Centaurion. [Target: Doom Knight Centaurion (Deceased)] [Copy Condition: The target died while feeling 'Genuine Fear' of a weaker being.] [Condition Status: MET.]
"It was scared of me," I realized. "At the very end. It was terrified."
[Copy Successful.] [New Skill Acquired: 'Vector Charge' (Tier 1)] [Description: Instantly accelerate in a straight line by manipulating your own motion vectors. No build-up required.] [Mana Cost: High (Warning: Use sparingly or you will pass out/vomit/die.)]
"Awesome," I muttered, standing up. My legs were still wobbly. "I can run fast in a straight line. I'm basically a human bowling ball."
RUMBLE.
The cave shook. Dust rained down from the ceiling.
[System: Collapse imminent. Rescue team entering in 3... 2...]
"Wait, rescue team?" I panicked. "I can't let them see me standing over a dead Boss! I'm supposed to be F-Rank trash!"
If the Association found out I soloed a C-Rank boss, they'd drag me back to the lab. They'd realize my "Control" stat wasn't useless anymore. I'd be a guinea pig again.
"Think, Ash, think!"
I looked at the sword in my hand. Then at the dead boss. Then at the pile of dead party members.
I threw the sword across the room. I grabbed some goblin blood from the floor and smeared it all over my face (gross, gross, gross). Then, I dove onto the floor next to the Mage's corpse, curled up into a fetal position, and made my eyes go wide and vacant.
Act traumatized. You're good at this. You cry yourself to sleep every night anyway.
BOOM.
The sealed stone doors were blasted open. A team of fully armored Hunters stormed in—the Association's Emergency Response Team.
"Clear left! Clear right!"
"Mana levels stabilizing! The Boss is down!"
A tall woman in heavy silver armor, the team leader, marched into the center of the room. She saw the headless Centaurion. She saw the headless Kang. She saw the mess.
"Jesus," she muttered. "It was a massacre."
"Leader!" a scout shouted. "We have a survivor! Over here!"
The leader rushed over to me. She grabbed my shoulder and shook me. "Hey! Kid! Can you hear me?"
I let out a high-pitched, terrifying squeak. "I didn't do it! I didn't touch the cheese! The horse man ate everyone!"
I flailed my arms, slapping her metal chest plate weakly. "He chopped them! Chop chop! Heads rolling! Like marbles!"
I was channeling every bad horror movie extra I'd ever seen.
The leader looked at me with pure pity. "Poor bastard. He's in shock. His mind is gone."
"Who is he?" the scout asked, checking a tablet. "Oh. It's Ash. The 'Wasted Potential' guy."
"Ah," the leader nodded, her face softening. "That explains it. He probably passed out the second the fight started and the monster ignored him because he has no mana presence. Luck of the fool."
Hey! I thought indignantly. I am a tactical genius, thank you very much.
"Load him up," the leader ordered. "And bag the bodies. We need to figure out what killed the Boss. It looks like... a structural failure? The armor just fell off?"
"Maybe the dungeon was bugged," the scout shrugged. "Happens with these unstable Gates."
I let them drag me onto a stretcher, continuing to babble nonsense about "evil ponies" and "flying heads."
As they carried me out of the collapsing dungeon, I peeked one eye open to look at the blue sky.
I had the core in my hidden pocket. I had a new skill. I had a secret that could shake the world.
[System: Nice acting. You sounded exactly like a toddler who dropped his ice cream. +1 Charisma.]
Shut up, I thought.
I closed my eyes and let the medics load me into the ambulance.
Step one: Survive. Step two: Get paid. Step three: Figure out how to be a God without blowing my own brain up.
[End of Chapter 2]