My face sank into disbelief.
I slowly pivoted my neck to Headmaster Xiang.
Gulping i barely managed to let out my next words.
"A-are you sure " my voice sounded with grievance.
Headmaster Xiang looked up from the page of documents—with obvious irritation, ready to go off at me, but at a glimpse, seeing the pain reflecting off my gaze he seemed to soften.
He looked at me with a gaze as firm as a monolith.
"I'm sorry," he said, his gaze firm—but he couldn't hide the small flash of sorrow in his eyes.
I froze—his confirmation making the reality of the situation settle.
"Now please step out of the stadium," he said in an irritated manner—though he seemed to be holding back in an expression of condolence.
I felt my body sway with dissatisfaction and regret.
Turning around i walked to the edge of the stage, my shoes scraping across the soiled marble floor.
Cutting my way through the crowd, I felt the overwhelming indifference the students seemed to portray, and yet—simultaneously,
The parents seemed to stare at me with an eye of pity.
Then I saw him, he made his way up the stage— his back straight as an arrow.
Luo Si.
A pretentious smirk layered across his face.
Without waiting for the headmaster's go he decisively placed his palm onto the stone.
Headmaster Xiang leered at him, seemingly mad at the blatant disrespect, but fascinatingly, he let it slide, perhaps out of a sense of fear for his backing or something else.
But all of a sudden he looked down—at that moment all signs of anger seemed to melt out of him replaced by pure visceral joy.
"B-B RANK TALENT! " he shouted at the top of his lungs. His eyes filled with an abundance of exaltation like a child.
After hearing those three words the crowd seemed to buzz with excitement.
" A B rank talent that's the first in nearly a decade!"
" What an amazing youth he's not just bringing glory to Red Plum School but to the whole providence. " a man said with jubilation.
All manner of compliments and praises were thrown his way
And me?
I felt sick to my stomach.
Valiant, kind do they not know him? All of the atrocities he's committed against me and everyone else.
It had been swept under the rug as soon as he showed any form of talent.
Seeing the smug grin on the bastard's face I was filled with seething rage—to the point I almost felt like acting on it.
Almost.
Seeing the praises being sung his way he conceitedly waltzed down the stairs making his way past the crowd.
People parted all around him as if making a walkway for a king, except me.
Seeing Luo Si approach me I tensed up with fear not daring to move out of the way.
A step—I flinched
Another—my body tightened in fear
One more—I shut my eyes
The clicking of his shoes against the floor sounded like the drums of an army to me i felt pure fear of what was coming my way.
But...
He just walked straight by me— the clack of his shoes fading into the distance.
I should've been elated, happy I would not be struck or insulted.
So why did it hurt—the utter dismissal and indifference?
-----------------------------------------------------------
I walked far, very far as if trying to get away from what happened today.
Looking up at the sky it was a lovely mix of red orange, and blue, the sky seemed to swirl with different colours and hues it was truly magnificent.
If it were a normal day I'd stop to marvel at its beauty, Unfortunately, the taste had been taken out of my mouth.
Dragging my feet across the asphalt floor my mind was blank, the whole hour walking here felt like a blur as if someone else was walking not me.
But it was me I was the one dragging this vessel forward, for what purpose and reason I don't know, but I kept moving forward.
Step after step
One foot after another
My body kept pushing on, even though my mind felt broken.
Slowly I advanced.
eventually reaching a bridge it was decently long and well built but the architecture had long degraded—cracks marred every surface of it—as if a beast had tried to claw chunks out of it, and succeeded.
Underneath it, a raging river flowed past seemingly making its way to the horizon, and at the other end was a grassy plateau leading into the woods surrounding the city.
Where my home resides.
After the pause, my mind seemed to slowly collect back the fragments that shattered—and I started thinking again.
Thinking back to the day.
Thinking back to my life.
Walking across the degraded bridge my mind churned with thoughts of anger, malice
But also of sadness and anguish.
" What..." my voice cracked into a million pieces.
" What did I do to deserve this, was I a serial killer in a previous life? " Desperately my mind tried to find ways to explain it but there was no explaining it.
It was just bad luck.
"No, no, even serial killers would be treated better than this" I mumbled.
I turned my body, gazing out into the distance.
All those looks.
Looks of pity, compassion.
Looks of sorrow, mockery.
And looks of utter indifference.
My eyes trembled, staring out into the cold expanse.
I slammed my fist down onto the cobblestone railing of the bridge with all the force I could muster.
" AHHHHHHHHH!!!" Opening my mouth I let out a blood-curdling scream.
" WHY, WHY ME " I repeated.
My eyes trembled, tears flowing down my face like a waterfall.
My voice shaking barely managing to speak, "What did I do to deserve this ".
My heart started beating wildly, breath after breath I slowly tried calming down.
" You are someone " I mumbled it, as if I didn't even believe in my own words.
" You have a life that has worth, " I said firmly trying to get myself to believe it.
"You can get a job, turn yourself around, live in Central city and build a family," I told myself, but who was I fooling, I couldn't before so what would change, the only thing I had going for me was useless.
My talent.
After leaving the ceremony I thought maybe just maybe my talent could be useful in a niche area, and that maybe I could get a specialised job to do with it and turn my life around.
How naive.
A passive increase in my senses that's all it gives me, it's so weak I didn't even notice it, when I first got it took me hours to even realise I had it.
" You are someone " I repeated this phrase like a mantra—desperately trying to get myself to believe in it.
You are someone.
You aresomeone.
Youaresomeone!
The words without fail always unpleasantly brought me back to that moment with Luo Si when he ignored me, the pain and despair I felt.
In that very moment repeating my ' mantra ' I had slowly come to realise the reason I felt so anguished in that moment.
He didn't even see me as someone worthy of his attention anymore—that was it.
It was so simple.
My primal want to be affirmed my existence had been completely denied.
Luo Si and his crew were the only people who proved I existed who interacted with me on a daily basis, to everyone else I was like a piece of dust in the air— one they'd only see occasionally.
They were the only thing keeping me tethered to this world and once they stopped noticing me, I became nothing a being who doesn't exist.
My eyes filled with tears again, staring into the horizon I climbed up on the rail.
" I am nobody. "