Picking up another pair of dirty panties off the floor, Ryuko began to wonder two things: what the hell had she been drinking when she agreed to share an apartment with Rumi Usagiyama, and where the hell could she find some more?
Cause damn, could she use a drink right now. Preferably as a strong one.
The sun had pretty much disappeared behind the horizon as the moon began it forward march upwards.
Having just finished a three-day shift of patrols, paperwork, fighting villains, and even more paperwork. Ryuko had come home looking forward to just taking a nice hot soak in the tub. Slipping into her more comfortable pair of sweats, and binge-watching all her of her favorite shows that she missed these past few days.
A new episode of House Heroes aired yesterday that she had been particularly looking forward to watching. The last few episodes had been meh, but this one they were supposedly supposed to be checking out some of the more exotic houses out there.
By then, it'd be time for her Soap, Heroes under the Starlight, to be on. Tonight was meant to be the season finale. She had specifically put in those extra hours just to have tonight off.
Except now she couldn't do any of that. Why? Cause when she opened the door, what did she come to find but an absolute disaster of a mess. Clothes, all over the floor, beer cans, spread across the coffee table, and onto the couch. Unwashed dishes piling up in the sink, trash towering out of the trash can, and left on the floor. And one measly note tacked on top like a cherry.
And, worst of all, a couple of - ugh- toys, that she could see through the open door to her room, just lying around.
Come on, girl. Have a bit more class than that. Does she even clean them like she's supposed to?
Throwing the discarded bit of cloth into the laundry basket, Ryuko looked out over at the rest of the mess and sighed. Well, there went her evening of rest and relaxation.
Ryuko looked up as a few tears threatened to fall. And she had really been looking forward to seeing whether or not Toma ever found out that Mimi was actually his mother, sent to the future from a past in which she had never met his father, or was actually just a clone of his long-lost sister turned villain.
But she couldn't. There was just no way she could relax in all of this. Much less sith through the smell. Cleaning this place was going to take her the rest of tonight and probably a good portion of her day tomorrow. Which was supposed to be one of her days off.
Man, was this what her mother felt when she was a kid? Cleaning up after a messy child that refused to do it themselves, all because you yourself couldn't stand things not being clean.
Surely not right? She hadn't been this bad. She knows that she's not the cleanest person in the world, but even she couldn't stand living like this.
Seriously, what kind of person would?
Ryuko snorted. Her roommate, apparently, that's who. Which brings her back to her early question, how the hell did she end up here?
Brushing the hair out of her face, Ryuko grabbed a trash bag and started collecting the many Beer cans left out.
She guesses it started just like it does for anyone. With the dream of finally moving out of their parents' house.
It hurts you know, on a deeper, emotional level. Going out as this big bad dragon. Knocking down the big boys, saving people in need. Signing autographs for all the little girls who look up to her.
Only to go back home to her parents' house at the end of the day. Lying down in her tiny little bed, staring up her star stickers that she put up when she was six. All 'cause she can't make enough money to move out.
Most people would assume, what with her having her own agency, 6 sidekicks, and numerous sponsorships and ad deals, plus the royalties she still receives from that one music video she starred in, that she'd be out living it rich.
They probably thought she lived in one of those big mansions, with maids who'll clean the mess for her, butlers to bring her food.
But nope, she didn't have any of that. She was living just like anyone else. Paycheck to paycheck, scrounging it out with cup noodles and instant ready meals.
She felt like one of those 2000s pop stars that people thought had all the money, only to find out that they made worse than a McDonald's janitor. All that money, just went right back into feeding the machine. Rent for her Agency building was killer, especially casue she had the bright idea to have it right in the middle of downtown.
Not only that, but wages for her sidekicks, the interns, staff, janitors, administrators, receptionists, the monthly HPSC membership, plus the Collateral Damage Tax, made each month another tightrope balancing act between red and black. Sometimes dipping more into the red than she liked.
Ryuko groaned, running her hand down her face. She just remembered the fight from last night with those two twins. The CDT was really going to take a big chunk out of her wallet this month.
In fact, the only person who might have a higher collateral damage pay than her this month was that new chick, Mt. Lady.
But what could she do? When you can turn into a giant Dragon, most of the people that you're sent after are the ones that can take a punch and still get back up. And in those types of fights, collateral damage can change from a few cars to a couple of toppled buildings in an instant.
Honestly, they're lucky that she could end that fight as quickly as she did. If that cement truck hadn't been there, she didn't know how she could have held both of them down while having to wait for some stronger cuffs.
Though she did have to pay for the cement as well.
Ryuko sighed as she grabbed another crushed-up beer can. Her only lucky break had been finding this place.
Recommended to her by one of her Sponsors, this five-room, two-bathroom luxury penthouse had everything. A state-of-the-art kitchen, a wide-open living area with wall-to-wall windows, and a balcony overlooking beautiful Hiroshima. And best of all, it was sitting just two blocks away from her Agency. It was perfect.
The only problem was the price.
Unfortunately, even with the Hero discount the company was offering, the rent would still kill her within a year. Personally running the numbers herself, rent and utilities, plus a few thousand yen for food/entertainment, put her in the hole for just shy of ¥100,000.
She only makes about ¥80,000 a month, and that's after paying for everything else. Rent plus the deposit would eat up enough of her little nest egg that by 6-12 months, she'd be broke. And with the CDT hanging over her head, even that number wasn't a guarantee.
If she had just one bad month, one too many crushed buses or broken hydrants. Her and her Agency would be bankrupt, out, gone, like dust in the wind.
That's probably when the idea of having a roommate first came up. She'd never had one before. Again, living with her parents. But also, she never went to college either, so it really hadn't occurred to her that that could be a solution.
It was only after she overheard one of her receptionists complaining about her own roommate that she remembered.
It had been so obvious that she nearly knocked herself out, slamming her head against her desk. So many nights in her childhood room, worrying about whether or not she'd be able to scrape up enough cash when just having someone to split the rent with would have solved all of her problems.
They would have to be another Hero, of course. Worrying about random attacks on the street was stressful enough, thank you very much. She didn't need to worry if her new roommate was a villain coming to slit her throat in the middle of the night.
Better not to tempt any would-be villains with an open invitation into her private life.
Immediately, she posted on the Hero messaging boards, advertising for any Heroine in Hiroshima who would be open to sharing an apartment with her.
Thankfully, she was well known enough that she had twenty-five offers by the end of the day. She had been prepared to interview each one of them when a new reply popped up on her screen.
Rumi Usagiyama, better known as the Pro Hero Mirko, was asking to see if the room was still available. When Ryuko first saw her message, she had thought that she was dreaming.
Obviously, she knew who Mirko was. Hiroshima's very own Leotard Rabbit, kicking in the teeth of crime one hop at a time. She just never thought that she'd be interested.
Ever since her debut, Rumi had put out that she would not be teaming up with anyone. That team-ups were for the weak. Ryuko was sure that same mentality would have stretched out into her personal life, but she guessed that even ol'thunder thighs herself had trouble finding a good place to sleep.
The two of them had gone to U.A at the same time. Though they weren't in the same class. Rumi, with her devil-may-care attitude, and general love for mayhem, had immediately been shoved into 1-A. While Ryuko, the more calm and rational of the two had been assigned to 1-B.
They didn't really know each other that well, but from what little she knew about her, Rumi seemed like she would be a great roommate. Not only that, but Ryuko knew that she had the money.
Enough that she even agreed to handle two-thirds of the rent and utilities so long as Ryuko used her connections to get them that discount.
With no Agency tying her down, no salaries to pay for, and surprisingly little collateral damage hanging over her head, Ryuko couldn't have accepted her faster than if she had flown over and picked her up herself.
She really didn't want to lose this place, and she knew, she just knew that other Heroes were eyeing it.
Tying the bag, Ryuko moved on to the kitchen. This was the last bit that she was going to clean today. She'll leave the dishes for tomorrow, not like one more night of sitting in the sink gonna make any difference.
Not even gonna bother watching her shows, she has it all recorded and can watch it later. Right now, though, she's just tired and wants to lie down.
Ryuko looked up. Someone was singing out in the hall. Her hearing wasn't as great as, say, Rumi's with her rabbit ears, or any other Heteromorph Quirk, but they were still better than the average guy.
It sounded like Rumi, but it also sounded like someone else. Strange, her note said that she'd be out today, 'handling some personal shit' as she said. Ryuko had taken that to mean that she'd be staying over at some guys place or something. She she hadn't expected her to be back tonight.
But you know what, this was perfect. Ryuko thought. Slamming the bag of trash down Ryuko marched her way to the front door. This meant that she could clean her own damn mess for once.
And after that they were going to have a talk. Obviously, she wasn't gonna kick her out; she can't, she's paying for most of it. But she was gonna give her a piece of her mind.
And if she didn't shape up after that, then she was gonna get… creative.
Habanero on those toys of hers would be a good place to start.
As she got closer to the door, she could start to make out the words. She was right, it wasn't just Rumi, she brought back some guy with her, wasn't that just great. And- were they singing in English?
"~ng us a song you're the piano man, Sing us a song tonight~"
They sounded drunk. Oh, dear God, did Rumi drunkely bring home another boytoy back to their apartment? Dammit, she thought she explained to her that she can't keep doing that.
Everyone in the building knows who they are. If people start talking about strange men visiting at late hours, soon enough, they'll have sleazy paparazzi camping outside the building, drumming up fake sex scandals for money.
And the last thing she needs is more rumors floating around, especially during Ranking season. It's bad enough they think she and Rumi are in a relationship just cause they moved in together, now this?
The door handle started rattling as she got closer. Obviously, Rumi was too drunk to even get her keys out: either that or she just assumed that it'd still be unlocked like she left it. And hadn't that been a surprise when she got back.
Ryuko grumbled as she grabbed the handle. Unlocking it, Ryuko threw open the door. Already mentally preparing to ruin both Rumi's and her newest captures' night, Ryuko opened her mouth, only to stop when she got a good look at them.
First thing she noticed, were the ears, second was the antlers. Not unusual enough by themself. While Japan didn't have the highest ratio of Herteromorph Quirks in the country they still had enough that it wasn't that strange to see various body types out on the streets.
Two arms, six arms, wolf head, shark tail. She's seen it all.
But both rabbit ears and antlers. On one person. That could only be the Jackalope Quirk. The Quirk that belonged to one of the more well-known families in America. The Conejos. The family that made a Dynasty acting as Caretakers to one of the world's largest Haven Sanctuarys, protecting its borders inside and out for generations.
The Conejoes have been on the World's tongue since forever. They were constantly making waves. With each new member of the family branching out across the globe with their iconic Jackalope Quirk.
And in more recent news, last year, one of them even made headlines over here when they dropped out of America's premier Hero School, Atlas Academy, before their Freshman year even started.
That same kid, who, if she's not mistaken, is now currently standing on her doorstep, badly singing some song in English with her roommate. Arms wrapped around each other like best friends, stumbling and slurring their words as they used their whiskey bottles as Mics.
…Wait - what? Whiskey!
" ~Casue where out in the mood for a melody..~ Oh dooze opem. Hey DM!" Rumi cheered as soon as she saw Ryuko.
Ignoring the potential career ending image in front of her, Ryuko turned her gaze to Rumi. Picking out the healthy red splashed across her face, half-lidded eyes, and drooping ears, she could immediately tell what she already suspected. Rumi was drunk off her ass.
Great, she's drunk again. That means a hangover for her tomorrow, and a headache for Ryuko. Never mind getting her to clean the dishes, she'll be lucky if she doesn't break another one of her coffee tables while watching reruns of that stupid cartoon of hers.
The career bomb of a kid raised his eyebrow with an aggravating smirk plastered on his face.
"DM?" He asked, intrigued. His rainbow colored glasses glinting in the hall light
Rumi laughed. Pulling him down so that he was eye level with her, she raised her bottle in the air, brandishing it like a sword. "All hail Dragon Mom. Destroyer of fun, Ruler of Timeouts."
Ryuko grimaced. Dammit Rumi, she knew she hated that nickname. The name popped up two years ago after she was filmed scolding some kids at a playground in her Dragon state. They had apparently been playing heroe's and villians when she swooped down in her dragon state, smashing a perp into the ground under her claw.
Having seen that and wanting to be a part of the action, every single one of those little brats ran up to her and started kicking the villain in the head while she held him down. Afterwards she had been too angry to turn back when some mom got her phone out.
She assumed she had wanted to use it to blast her online for scolding her kid, but instead, the internet loved it. And someone coined the phrase DM, or Dragon Mom.
Dragon Mom was actually a more generous translation nowadays. She couldn't even begin to think about what else people have come up with.
Whether it's on HO, Facebook, Click, Raven, or any other social media platform. That damn name keeps following her.
Snickering, the kid dragged the stumbling Rumi inside. Ryuko glowed at him, so he thought that was funny, did he? Well, we'll see how funny it is when she throws his sorry ass onto the street.
Didn't matter to her how famous this kid's family was; in fact, publicly throwing him the boot would do wonders to fix up this mess that Rumi had placed her in.
Did Rumi not even think about what this looked like? Her, a sexy, older woman, bringing a clearly drunk underage kid back to her apartment. Which, she just so happened to share with another roommate, who people have speculated is also sleeping with her.
Not to mention the fact that both of them are fairly recognizable, famous, up and rising Heroines at the start of their careers. Women in this industry have been brought down for way less.
Oh, boy. This was bad, this was super Bad.
How many people have seen them? How many videos or pictures are now being spread all across the internet of Rumi, drunk off her ass, bringing an equally drunk 14-year-old back to their place?
Ugh, the headache was coming back.
Unaware of the proverbial storm razing across Ryuko's mind, Rumi tripped her way over to the couch. Not even making it to the nice, plush cushions, she crashed onto the hardwood floor with a thud.
Rolling onto her back Rumi waved a hand over to Alex.
"By the way, tha's me cousins. He'z goona be staying while."
A record scratch echoed inside her head.
Slowly lifting her head, she turned toward Alex. Sending her a bright smile, he grabbed the bags hidden behind him and started walking to the rooms like he owned the place.
Following him with her eyes, she watched as he turned the corner into the hall. Over his shoulder, she saw four little brightly colored musicians hanging onto the back of his shirt. Waving at her with their instruments, all five of them disappeared behind the wall.
Turning her dead gaze back to Rumi Ryuko took a deep breath.
Ok, you know what, she realized, I'm way too tired for this.
Grabbing Rumi by the front of her hoodie, Ryuko dragged her over to her room. If she was gonna pass out drunk, then she was gonna do it inside her own room. Cause if she had to throw out another rug stained in vomit and alcohol, then she really was gonna bring out the habanero.
Pulling onto Ryuko's arm, Rumi clambered her way up towards Ryuko's face.
"Hey," Rumi gazed half-lidded at her. Breathing hot, drunk breath into her face.
Scrunching her nose at the smell, Ryuko glared back at Rumi.
"What?" She asked, kicking Rumi's things back into her room. Freezing only when she felt Rumi's clammy hands rub against her cheek
"It gets cold at night. And I hear Dragons are pretty warm."
Ryuko felt her eye twitch.
Nope. No, nuh-uh. She was not dealing with this right now. She was too sober and tired to even consider something like that, and that goes double if it concerned Rumi.
Lifting Rumi higher, Ryuko threw her into her room, not even bothering to check to see if she made it on her bed.
"GO TO SLEEP!"