It's been a sobering couple of weeks.
Ever since coming back from the incident at the palace there's been an awkward atmosphere in the penthouse. Sekai has tried to assure me that no one feels a type a way about what happen but nothing that has happened since has convinced me otherwise.
Before leaving the palace initially, after hearing my story, Queen Mariam didn't give me any real answers to my situation. Even though they told me that what happened was very odd and unheard of, nothing further was done.
I was to be monitored, and I was supposed to continue as if nothing happened. Since we were already being monitored closely, absolutely nothing has changed. After skipping class that first day, I stopped going to class altogether and just worked out in our inhouse facilities to keep my mind busy.
I was afraid to let my mind be clear for fear I would bring any building I was in down. The more I thought about it the more I was sure that Kifo was nothing to play with. It wasn't worth it to me just to gain power that would just be used as a magic trick.
I saw no real-world application to it. Queen Mariam wasn't sharing what she used her powers for either. So, I just avoided it and focused on other things. Talib would always come back after our lessons to recap to me what happened.
What the material was and who awakened from the meditation that particular day. Sanna awakened with dark emerald eyes two lessons after me, she hasn't spoken to me since our time on the balcony, but she's constantly been stealing curious glances at me.
Her brother, Femi and Sekai awakened the lesson afterward. Femi with lime green eyes and Sekai with dark sapphire eyes. Femi has made it a point to glare at me whenever we're in the same vicinity with each other.
Amara, Imari, and Talib all awakened in the same lesson. Amara and Imari both awakened with deep orange eyes. It was rare to manifest the same eye color at the same time but not unheard of. Especially for siblings. When Talib awakened he was practically jumping off the wall recounting his story to me.
"It was cool as hell, I was talking to some old guy but he told me he was our grandfather and our mom's father. He complimented my intellect and we started talking tech and the old guy knew his stuff and…"
He rambled on for a bit but I was glad he was excited. He said he exuded a sky blue aura when he manifested. Sounds like it would be very serene to feel. I couldn't help but be a bit jealous. None of the other royals had the problem of self-control that I did. None of their awakenings were as violent as mine.
As I wallowing in my own self depreciation, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned my head to see Zalika behind me looking slightly annoyed.
"I need your help with something."
I imagine it was to help her spar, messing with this battle junkie. Zalika's behavior hasn't really changed towards me after the incident. She didn't avoid me but she didn't go out her way to talk to me either.
Which was pretty consistent of how she acted before then as well. She would catch me in the training dojo every once in a while, and she didn't hesitate to spar with me whenever she had the chance.
That's the only time I see her having an enjoyable time. When she's mercilessly beating me up. I followed her to the training room as she lead with a heavy demeanor. She sat down cross legged adjacent to the mirror on the wall.
I followed suit and sat across from her, we sat in silence as I watched her struggle internally ask me what she wanted to ask. I really didn't mind, her calling me out gave me a sense of ease that I haven't felt in days.
"So, I called you here because I need your help, no one else seems to be better than you." I didn't answer waiting for her to continue for specifics, but she just stared at me. It was a full ten seconds before I broke the awkward silence.
"Okay? What is it that you believe I'm the best at that you need my help with. You haven't given me any specifics." Her face started to burn red, and I saw shame painted on her face. She answered me quietly, barely audible to hear.
"Meditation, I need help with meditation."
I looked at her incredulously. All she did was meditate why would she need my help with that? Every time I came into the gym she was sitting meditating, steam coming off her back. I was about to rebuke her for messing with me, but I stopped myself.
She was the last one who hasn't awakened and for someone who meditates religiously that was weird. To be honest to meditate so intensely was weird in itself. There shouldn't be any physical reaction for any normal human. Especially steam to escape from you.
"When you sit in here every day, what are you thinking about? Is that meditation for you?"
I tried to say it as gentle and as quizzical as possible. I was genuinely curious, but I didn't want to come off mockingly. She seemed to take it well because she answered me calmly and inquisitively.
"I thought that was meditation because that's what has always enhance my martial ability. Given me a foothold to defeat my cousins, sparring partners, or any family that challenged me that I couldn't beat."
It sounded like more of getting fired up or active mental training than calm meditation.
"What is going through your head when you're in your version of meditation?" She hesitated, debating if she should divulge her secrets but it didn't take her too long to respond with her truth.
"When I meditate, I go through all possibilities of the next actions I want to take, I access risk, reward, and consequences of my next actions that I want to do." Expecting this response, I gave her an honest assessment of what she's been missing.
"What you're doing sounds more like simulation than meditation, meditation is a practice that involves training the mind to achieve a state of calmness, focus, and awareness. You're supposed to be chasing peace of mind.
What you have been doing, is still training of the mind but instead of calmness your achieving enhanced action. It explains the intensity I see from you when you do simulate, causing steam to come from your body. You have other worldly focus and highly analytical mind."
She started to blush from my expression of compliments, but it quickly disappeared and became focused.
"So, with that being said could you coach me through meditation?"
If it's just that I don't see why not. She has the focus and awareness down. I just have to reach her calmness. It probably could be done quickly if she's coachable enough.
"Yea, of course we could start now if you like." Zalika gave me a rare smile.
"Yes, Plea-"
"If you don't mind, I would like to hop in as well." Sanna entered the room smirking as she sat down in between me and Zalika facing both of us, she was wearing baggy workout clothes with her braided hair unusually down.
It's the most dressed down I've ever seen her but it's also the most comfortable I've seen her. I looked to Zalika to gauge her reaction for the intrusion. I was surprised to see a face I was familiar with when we first interacted.
Her face was pensive and guarded; she looked to be sizing her up. Instead of completely dismissing her. She just nodded her head and looked to me to begin. Slightly taken back, I recovered and addressed Sanna myself.
"It's fine because Zalika approves but to my understanding you don't need any help learning to meditate, you awakened very quickly." Now smiling softly, Sanna nodded her head.
"Yes, I was but I haven't been able to enter that state without Queen Mariam's influence since. My ancestor won't talk to me otherwise."
So, Kifo wasn't the only one that felt this way. I wonder if this was standard. I sighed, I didn't feel like I was an expert on meditating and certainly didn't want to teach. However, Zalika sought me out despite my reclusion and I felt like I owed her for that.
"Okay, first off, to make things easier assume a pose that's comfortable for you. Don't try to be traditional or classy what we're seeking is peace."
Out of habit all three of us shifted to being cross legged with our arms close knit. A traditional pose for royals, which has been expected of us since infancy.
"Now, close your eyes, immerse yourself in the darkness. Succumb to it and let go of your thoughts."
I left my eyes open and observed their movements. Zalika followed directions physically, but I could tell her mind was still racing because I could still see her eyes moving under her eye lids. She was way too tense. Sanna was doing perfectly her body was in a relaxed state and she had a sense of peace to her.