Chapter 11: Pardo: Su Mu, I Curse Your Ancestors!!
Thus, Pardo immediately switched to work mode and discussed the relevant matters with Kiana.
"Um, well, Pardo... that friend of mine is making a game for the first time, so..."
"Mhm! I understand, leave it to me!"
"Don't worry too much about it. To be honest, he'll humbly accept any criticism! In fact, he hopes you'll criticize him harshly!"
"OK!"
Pardo sent a cat emoji, but she found it strange—asking for harsh criticism during a promotion... that was a very odd request, wasn't it?
Ding-dong! Alipay receipt: 20,000 yuan!
"What!?"
Pardofelis jumped up on the spot. Although she wasn't a stranger to paid promotions, 20,000 yuan just for one game stream?
"What is going on here...?"
Somehow, looking at that 20,000 yuan gave Pardofelis a bad premonition. There was no such thing as a free lunch; she had thought this would be an easy task, but the price tag made her feel a mountain of pressure!
Kiana: "Pardo, please, do your best!!"
Looking at the message on her phone, Pardofelis slowly typed out a mental question mark. What did she mean? Why was Kiana telling her to "do her best"?
Pardo shook her head. Well, since the money was already received, it was time to prepare for the stream. She posted an update on her account about the broadcast scheduled for the following night at 7:00 PM.
Time quickly reached 7:50 PM the next evening. Pardo opened the stream early to interact with the chat.
[Pardo! Pardo Pardo!]
[Pardo is the cutest in the world!]
[Where is Can? Where is the streamer's true form? The true form isn't at work, report her!]
[I want to see Can!!]
[Streamer, you're blocking my view of Can!!]
Whenever Pardofelis did outdoor shop-vlog streams, she always took Can along. Over time, appearing with Can became one of Pardo's trademarks. Most of her popularity was brought by Can. Therefore, it was absolutely true that Can was her little lucky star.
Of course, many viewers were also attracted to Pardo herself. After all, Pardo was a beautiful girl—an extroverted, lively, and energetic streamer. Who could help but love her?
"Hello everyone, I'm Pardo! I'm so happy you could come to my stream!"
Pardofelis greeted the audience with practiced ease.
"For today's broadcast, because Pardo rarely gets paid promotions, it hasn't been easy! Now Can's cat food for next month is finally sorted!"
[? Pardo's selling out?]
[Brothers, the streamer is finally begging for food! I'm moved to tears!]
[Can: I'm so small, do you really have the heart to make me take such a big blame?]
Pardofelis didn't reply to the playful comments and skillfully opened the HOMU Game Platform to find the recently released game. In her spare time, Pardo played games too, though she was hardly a hardcore gamer since her focus was on running around for her shop-vlogs. She rarely streamed games—or rather, almost never.
Thus, when they saw Pardofelis open the HOMU Game Platform, many viewers were surprised.
[A gaming stream today?]
[Holy cow! Pardo is going to stream a game?]
[I'm new here, isn't Pardo a beauty streamer? When did she transition to being a gaming streamer?]
[Old fans here, Pardo has streamed games before! Her skills aren't bad!]
[No way! For real? I've never seen it!]
[Hmph! Don't underestimate me, I've watched every single one of Pardo's streams!]
[Big bro, besides saying 'awesome', I don't know what to say!]
Pardo quickly found the newly listed *Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy*. It was priced at ten yuan—an unexceptional price for an indie game. Looking at the man swinging a sledgehammer in a cauldron on the promotional image, Pardofelis couldn't help but feel bewildered.
I mean, even if her cat was named Can, what was with this "Canned Man"?
[Pffft! Is he Can's long-lost brother, Canned Man?]
[What kind of cursed game is this? Are you sure it's not some weird parody game?]
[Streamer's paid promotion? Which 'genius' company made this game?]
Pardo's current mood was just as speechless as the comments. Did she really have to play this game? Right here, right now? Just looking at it gave her no desire to play.
But adhering to her professional ethics, Pardo gritted her teeth and bought the game. After the download was finished, she opened it. The game content was almost identical to the promotional art. The canned man, the sledgehammer... the man's eyes showed a look of determination, but also a strange, dead-fish-like glint.
"Well, it's their first time making a game, it's normal..."
Thinking of Kiana's words, Pardo sighed. She didn't say more and immediately began the trial play.
[So it's a game about moving with a hammer to climb to the top?]
[A rock-climbing game?]
[Feels like it'll be boring. There are plenty of level-based games on the market; this art style isn't impressive, and the gameplay doesn't show any highlights. Will people really buy this?]
[No selling points? Isn't that 'special' canned little man the selling point?]
Pardofelis tried to control the canned man. Just like Bronya during her first trial, she quickly figured out how to move him.
"Seems pretty simple?"
Pardo looked at the rocks ahead. Anyway, all she had to do was climb up, right? Something like this wouldn't stump her! Thus, a confident Pardo began her ascent to the summit!
However.
An hour later.
Pardofelis felt her clothes were soaked with sweat. She stared fixedly at the canned man on the screen, her palms covered in perspiration. Even then, she didn't forget to interact with the chat.
"Going this way should be fine, right? If I fall again, my mental state is going to collapse."
"One turn, two turns, three turns..."
"Oops!"
"GAIA—!!!!"
Seeing the little canned man return to the starting point in a second due to a single operational mistake—seeing all that effort go to waste—Pardo could no longer hold back and let out a painful wail!!
She couldn't take it anymore, she really couldn't!!
Pardo now felt a sense of chaotic beauty in her madness. What kind of game was this! Why was it so difficult!
No saves, no hints, and a mistake could send you right back to the beginning. Unplayable! It was simply unplayable! At this moment, Pardo really felt the urge to smash her keyboard!
[New here, is the streamer about to turn into Ultraman?]
[How many times has the streamer returned to the start?]
[Can a game really be this hard? Is the streamer just too bad?]
[Is the streamer's temperature rising? Holy cow, it's the first time I've seen her get this heated!]
[This game has depth; it tells us to visit home often!]
[Came here for the fame, is the streamer back at the original point again?]
At the same time.
In Su Mu's office at miHoYo Studio.
Bronya watched the streaming Pardo. Somehow, seeing Pardo wail in suffering, she couldn't suppress the corners of her mouth. Beside her, Su Mu's mouth was already harder to suppress than an AK-47.
In the stream, after Pardofelis took a tactical sip of water, she glanced at the popularity count in the top right corner. She was shocked by what she saw.
The popularity had inexplicably broken one million? What was happening?
An hour ago, when Pardo started the broadcast, the popularity was only around a hundred thousand! An absurd thought flashed through Pardofelis's mind as she looked at the little canned man on the screen.
Were all these people really here to watch her play a game?
If Su Mu could hear Pardo's inner thoughts, he would have burst out laughing. Pardo was completely wrong!
These viewers weren't here to watch her play the game; they were here to watch the game play Pardo!
No joke!
*Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy*... was a new genre of game following RPG, ACT, FPS, and sandbox—the Streamer-oriented game! UPG!
Watching others play makes you die of laughter; playing it yourself makes you die of anger!
END OF CHAPTER