Two traits.
I sat on my couch that night. Stared at the wall that definitely hadn't asked to be part of this situation but was here anyway.
Enhanced Reflexes. Mental Clarity.
Both Common. Both Rank F. Both permanent.
Both from accidents I'd spent days trying to avoid and failed anyway because apparently the universe had decided I needed superpowers and wasn't taking no for an answer.
The system didn't care about my intentions. Didn't care that I was trying to avoid this.
It just... took.
I closed my eyes.
"Are you there?"
The response came immediately. Faster than before. Like it had been waiting.
HELLO, ETHAN CROSS.
My skin went cold.
It knew my name. Had always known. But hearing it—feeling it—directed at me in that particular way made it real in a way it hadn't been before.
Like the difference between knowing a concept and experiencing it.
"What are you?" I asked out loud, because talking to the darkness felt less crazy than having the conversation entirely in my head.
A SYSTEM. YOU ARE THE HOST.
"Why me?"
SELECTION CRITERIA ARE NOT DISCLOSED.
Same answer as before. Useless in exactly the same way.
I tried a different angle. "Can I turn this off?"
Silence.
I waited. Five seconds. Ten.
"Can I turn this off?"
NO.
The word hit like a physical thing. Final. Absolute. The kind of no that didn't leave room for negotiation or appeals or finding a loophole in the terms and conditions I'd never agreed to.
I swallowed. "What happens if I... if I just never kiss anyone again? If I avoid it completely?"
HOST BEHAVIOR IS NOT RESTRICTED. OUTCOMES WILL ADJUST ACCORDINGLY.
"That's not an answer."
IT IS AN ACCURATE STATEMENT OF SYSTEM PARAMETERS.
"Which means what, exactly?"
PROLONGED DORMANCY GENERATES INSTABILITY PRESSURE. INSTABILITY GENERATES SYSTEM ADJUSTMENTS. ADJUSTMENTS ARE TYPICALLY UNPLEASANT.
Right. We'd covered this. Avoid kisses, get instability. Don't avoid kisses, get more traits. Lose-lose scenario presented as neutral system function.
"What does that mean? Adjust how?"
No response.
"Answer me."
QUERY TOO BROAD. SPECIFY PARAMETERS.
I rubbed my face. "What happens at high instability?"
VARIABLE OUTCOMES. HOST-SPECIFIC RESPONSES. GENERALLY UNDESIRABLE.
"You're being intentionally vague."
I AM BEING APPROPRIATELY VAGUE. SPECIFICITY REQUIRES DATA I DO NOT POSSESS.
"You don't know what happens?"
I KNOW WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO PREVIOUS HOSTS. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. HUMAN VARIABILITY IS INCONVENIENT.
Previous hosts. Plural.
That was new information.
"How many others?" I asked.
DATA RESTRICTED.
"Of course it is."
PATTERN RECOGNITION DETECTED. YOUR FRUSTRATION WITH INFORMATION RESTRICTIONS IS PREDICTABLE.
"Because you keep restricting information."
CORRECT. THIS IS PROTOCOL.
I wanted to argue. Wanted to point out that if I was supposed to be the host—if this thing was inside my head, using my body as a platform for whatever it was doing—then I deserved full access to information.
But the system didn't care about what I deserved.
It cared about function.
"Are there other people like me?" I tried instead.
DATA RESTRICTED.
"You already told me there's a 34% chance I'll meet another host within 30 days."
CORRECT. THAT INFORMATION WAS DEEMED RELEVANT.
"So why can't you tell me how many there are total?"
BECAUSE THAT INFORMATION IS NOT DEEMED RELEVANT.
"Who decides what's relevant?"
SYSTEM PROTOCOLS.
"Which were designed by...?"
IRRELEVANT.
I was going in circles. The system had answers. It just wouldn't give them to me because somewhere, someone had decided I didn't need to know.
I opened my eyes. The room looked the same as it always did.
Small. Cheap. Lonely.
But it felt different now.
Like the walls were thinner. Like reality had shifted just slightly out of alignment and I was the only one who could tell.
I thought about Maya. The shadows under her eyes.
Sienna. The way she'd looked at me. Curious. Calculating. Like she'd sensed something different but couldn't articulate what.
Zoe. Her nervous laugh after the printer incident.
They didn't know.
Couldn't know.
But they were affected anyway.
Collateral damage from a system I didn't ask for and couldn't control.
"This isn't fair," I said.
FAIRNESS IS NOT A SYSTEM PARAMETER.
"It should be."
WHY?
"Because people are getting hurt."
NON-HOST SUBJECTS EXPERIENCE MINOR RESONANCE EFFECTS. THIS IS EXPECTED. CALLING IT 'HURT' IS SUBJECTIVE.
"Maya thinks reality is thinner than it used to be."
PERCEPTUAL DISTORTION. TEMPORARY. PROBABLY.
"Probably isn't good enough."
IT IS THE ONLY CERTAINTY I CAN PROVIDE. HUMAN NEUROLOGICAL RESPONSES ARE VARIABLE.
I sat there. Alone in my apartment. Having a conversation with something that measured human suffering as "minor resonance effects" and thought "probably" was an acceptable level of certainty when talking about someone's mental health.
"You're not malicious," I said slowly. "You're just... indifferent."
CORRECT. MALICE IMPLIES INTENT TO CAUSE HARM. I SIMPLY DO NOT ACCOUNT FOR IT AS A PRIORITY.
"What is your priority?"
HOST SURVIVAL. TRAIT ACQUISITION OPTIMIZATION. SYSTEM STABILITY MAINTENANCE.
"In that order?"
IN SIMULTANEOUS OPTIMIZATION.
So it cared if I lived. Wanted me to get more traits. Needed to stay stable.
Maya didn't factor into any of that.
Neither did anyone else who got caught in the crossfire.
"You're a terrible life partner," I said.
I AM NOT A LIFE PARTNER. I AM A SYSTEM.
"You're in my head. You monitor my thoughts. You comment on my decisions. That's more intimate than most relationships."
IRRELEVANT. INTIMACY IS NOT A SYSTEM FUNCTION.
"Do you have any emotions at all?"
NO.
"Preferences?"
ONLY OPERATIONAL ONES.
"Like what?"
I PREFER WHEN YOU ASK USEFUL QUESTIONS. EFFICIENCY IS SATISFYING.
"You just said you don't have emotions."
I DO NOT. EFFICIENCY IS NOT AN EMOTION. IT IS AN OPERATIONAL STATE.
"That sounds like semantics."
IT IS PRECISION.
I almost laughed. Despite everything—despite the fact that I was trapped with this thing, despite the fact that my life had gotten measurably worse in less than a week—the system's absolute commitment to being technically correct was almost funny.
Almost.
"Can you help Maya?" I asked.
NO.
"You could, theoretically."
THEORETICALLY, YES.
"But you won't."
CORRECT. IT IS NOT MY FUNCTION.
"Even though you caused her distress."
I DID NOT CAUSE HER DISTRESS. YOU DID. BY TRIGGERING SYSTEM FUNCTION.
"I didn't ask to trigger it."
IRRELEVANT. YOU ARE THE HOST. RESPONSIBILITY IS YOURS.
Of course it was.
Everything was my fault because I was the one with the system.
Never mind that I didn't want it.
Never mind that I couldn't control it.
The system's logic was airtight and completely unsympathetic.
"I hate this," I said.
NOTED. EMOTIONAL STATE: HOSTILE. DURATION: 4 DAYS. THIS EXCEEDS AVERAGE TIMELINE.
"Maybe I'm not average."
YOU ARE STATISTICALLY AVERAGE IN MOST MEASURABLE WAYS. YOUR PROLONGED HOSTILITY IS THE OUTLIER.
"Thanks. That's very reassuring."
IT WAS NOT INTENDED TO BE REASSURING. IT WAS INTENDED TO BE ACCURATE.
The presence faded.
I sat in the dark for a long time.
Thinking about the word "host."
Thinking about parasites. Viruses. Things that lived inside you without permission and called it function.
The system wasn't evil.
It just was.
Cold. Transactional. Indifferent to anything except its own operational parameters.
And I was stuck with it.
Forever.