I stayed curled on the cold stone of the courtyard for what felt like hours, even though it was probably only minutes. The ash clung to my bare skin, mixing with sweat and the faint streaks of blood from where I had scraped my knees and elbows during my panicked escape. My breathing refused to settle. Each inhale came too fast, too shallow, like my body was convinced the air itself might betray me. The golden light inside me flickered erratically, sending random pulses of heat through my limbs that only made the trembling worse.
Liora knelt a few feet away, her small naked body trembling in the night air. Tears glistened on her cheeks. "Alex… please come back to us. You're still here. You're still you."
Kaia stood slightly behind her, arms wrapped around her own chest, her full breasts pressed together. She looked lost, almost frightened now. "You were different last night, yes. But it was still you. We felt you. We know your touch. We know your voice."
Morgana remained standing a short distance away, arms crossed beneath her breasts, purple hair shifting slightly in the cold breeze. Her expression was carefully neutral, but her eyes tracked every small movement I made, studying me like I was a puzzle that had suddenly grown teeth.
I rocked slowly, forehead pressed against my knees, trying to squeeze the flashes out of my head. But they kept coming anyway.
I had Veyra bent over the edge of the bed, her orchid braids wrapped around my fist as I fucked her with long, punishing strokes. She was moaning loudly, pushing back against me desperately. I slapped her ass hard enough to make her cry out, then leaned down and whispered, "You think you're so ancient and wise? Right now you're just another dripping hole for my cock." She came instantly, sobbing with pleasure.
I whimpered and pressed my forehead harder against my knees until it hurt. "Stop… please stop…"
Liora inched closer, her voice soft and pleading. "Alex, whatever you're seeing, it's not real. You were so good to us. You made us feel wanted. Needed. You kept saying how much you loved being inside us."
I lifted my head just enough to look at them. My vision was blurry with tears. "You don't understand. I don't remember any of that. I remember dying. I remember the knife going into my side. I remember bleeding out on the ground while that silver-eyed bastard watched. And then I woke up here… covered in all of you… and you're telling me I spent the night fucking you like some kind of animal."
Kaia took a hesitant step forward. "You were intense. Rougher than usual. But we wanted it. We begged for it. You made Liora scream your name until her voice gave out. You made me squirt so many times I thought I was going to pass out."
I laughed, but it came out broken and wet. "And that's supposed to make me feel better? That this… thing wearing my skin treated you like toys and you loved it?"
The three of them fell silent.
Liora's lower lip trembled. Kaia looked away, suddenly uncomfortable. Morgana's eyes narrowed slightly, but she said nothing.
I pushed myself up unsteadily, legs shaking beneath me. Ash and dust coated my skin. I felt exposed in every possible way — naked, vulnerable, and terrifyingly uncertain of my own mind.
"I can't do this," I whispered. "I can't stay here knowing that at any moment something else might take over. What if next time it doesn't let me come back? What if I wake up tomorrow and I'm just… gone? And that other thing is walking around in my body, hurting you, using you, and you all think it's still me?"
My voice cracked on the last word. Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks.
Liora stood up slowly, reaching out again. "Alex… we can help you. Whatever this is, we can figure it out together. Please don't run from us."
I backed away, shaking my head.
"I'm scared of myself," I said quietly. "I'm scared of what I might do to you without even knowing it."
The wind picked up, carrying ash across the courtyard in swirling gray veils. The moonlight made everything look ghostly and unreal. I looked at their faces one last time — Liora's tear-streaked concern, Kaia's confusion, Morgana's cold calculation — and felt something inside me fracture.
I turned and ran again.
Deeper into the ruins.
Away from the only people in this world who had ever made me feel wanted.