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Ted POV
After the whole Robin fiasco, I just went back to living my… well, "usual" life. I worked, I went to the gym…yes, I actually go to the gym.
Because when you get a second chance at life, you start thinking about all the things you regretted.
Not getting rich.
Not having a girlfriend.
Staying home too much.
Not having the perfect body.
You know, classic man regrets.
A man's life cycle basically goes like this:
Make mistakes → regret them → move on.
So I try to fix the things 'Past Me' should've fixed.
Get rich. Check.
Have a girlfriend. Check.
Go out more. Check.
Hit the gym. Check.
I'm lucky because I got to start early in my teenage self. Starting straight from college, I pushed myself to go to the gym. It was hard and all I wanted to do was just lay down on my bed, but I kept trying. At least three times a week. It wasn't just building muscle; it was building resolve.
I invest in certain things too. Mostly big historical events, the ones even 'Past Me', who wasn't an investor at all, remembered.
Like the internet bubble.
Or 9/11.
Whenever the world shook, I doubled or quadrupled my money.
I also wrote the novels I loved in my previous life.
The Hunger Games, The Maze Runner, Divergent, stuff like that.
Yeah, I wrote all of those during college. I mean, why not take the opportunity?
When the money started rolling in, I reinvested and reinvested. And it kept coming back bigger.
Now I've built a routine.
Gym.
Writing.
Investing.
And yeah, I still work at the architectural firm, but mostly because I spent years getting this degree. Might as well use it.
Oh right—I never told Marshall, Lily, or Barney that I'm a writer.
I once saw Marshall reading one of my books. He's obsessed with mythology and monsters, so The Maze Runner totally hooked him.
He had no idea that I was the one who wrote it.
At the moment, I'm at work doing something… meaningful.
Painting a miniature tree.
Yep. Super meaningful.
Aesthetic texture for the building model. Making clients love this stuff. They want to know what trees will be planted around their future building. Very meaningful indeed.
"Ted!"
I sighed and turned to see Hammond standing behind me, looking dead serious. "Ted, where is my tree?" he asked, patting my shoulder like he was about to give some ancient wisdom.
Which was extremely annoying.
Yes. This is Hammond Druthers. My boss.
Yes. I do meaningless work for him!.
"Here, sir," I said, presenting the tiny forest I'd created.
"Ah… let's see." He inspected the trees like they were sacred relics. Measuring heights, angles… I don't even know what he's doing right now. He sees whatever he wants to see. At least I get paid, right?
"Hmm… could you make it smaller?" Hammond squinted at me. Do you want to see that tree with a microscope now?
I wanted to say that, but…
"Sure. I'll make it tinier," I said, smiling.
Hey, don't judge. Workers do what they must.
"Great!" Hammond said smiling to me, but then he turned to serious mode. "You know what I'm doing, right?"
"Tutoring me?" I guessed.
He nodded proudly. "Yes! You see, Ted, being an architect is tough. But you can learn everything from watching me. Follow me, learn from me, and you will succeed in this world."
I nodded. "…Okay. Sure."
He laughed, punched my shoulder like we were buddies, and walked away.
Should I punch him back?
I should punch him, right?
TELL ME!.
"God damn it… what am I doing…" I muttered.
All my talk about "screwing destiny" feels pointless.
I should just quit.
Write more books.
Let my investments print money for me.
I think about that all the time and yet here I am.
Still making styrofoam trees.
It's the old Ted, the Ted who lived for this job, who keeps me here. Architecture was his passion.
And honestly?
It's scary that I don't feel that kind of passion anymore.
I write novels because I can.
Not because it's my dream.
I invest because I know what happens to the market.
Not because I enjoy it.
Not getting rich was my regret in my previous life.
Now I have money.
Is that passion?
No.
I could travel the world.
But do I want to?
No.
I can, but I don't want to.
As I went back to adjusting the miniature trees, my phone rang.
Barney.
When Barney calls, chaos usually follows.
Honestly?
That's exactly what I need.
I picked up. "Hey, what's up?"
{Ted! I'm gonna teach you how to live!}
I sighed. "You found a great strip club?"
{I found a GREAT strip club!}
"Okay. Send me the address."
I packed my things and walked out.
Not the best solution to my existential crisis…
But at least I wasn't stuck in my thoughts anymore.
(A/N : I am gonna stop of Scene of Ted works in architect)
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*3Rd Pov
The strip club welcomed Ted with a blast of warm, reddish light. The whole place glowed with dim, sultry tones, the kind of lighting that tried way too hard to hide how questionable the place actually was.
A small stage sat in the center of the room, bordered by golden rails that shimmered under tiny spotlight bulbs. The polished black platform reflected the heels of the dancers like a glossy mirror, catching every step and swirl as the women moved.
The tables around the small stage were crowded with men: some cheering, some pretending not to stare, some awkwardly clapping like it was a Broadway show instead of… this.
A neon sign on the back wall flashed GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS, flickering every few seconds like it was too exhausted to keep advertising.
"Ted!"
Barney's voice cut through the thumping music, and Ted spotted him instantly, waving wildly, surrounded by a parade of girls in black bikinis as if he were some drug lord who always had women on his side.
Ted stood frozen for a second, his brain trying to process the… unique aroma of the place, cheap perfume, warm lights, vanilla lotion, and the faint scent of someone's questionable life decisions.
Before he could even take a step, one of the dancers or maybe a worker glided toward him, hips swaying in slow, practiced confidence. She rested a delicate hand on his shoulder, her smile sweet but dangerously sharp.
"Hey, handsome," she purred, leaning in close enough that her breath warmed the shell of his ear. "You want a lap dance?"
Ted offered an awkward smile, the kind that screams 'I am not emotionally prepared for this!.'
"I'm, uh… here to meet a friend," he said before escaping quickly.
He hurried straight to Barney, who was currently throwing money at the stage with his smile so wide and looking hungry for dancer attention.
"Hey buddy!" Barney beamed as Ted slid into the seat beside him. "How is it?! Awesome, right?!"
Barney gave Ted two full seconds of attention, that is a record time for Barney, before whipping his gaze back to the dancer on stage.
"Check this chick out," Barney said reverently. "Isn't she incredible?"
To an innocent bystander, he might've sounded like he was analyzing choreography.
But Ted knew Barney.
This was not appreciation for the arts.
This was Barney being… Barney.
His hands didn't help either, gesturing something inappropriate.
"Her boobs are massive! I love this strip club!" he declared, tossing more money with the same eyes like before.
Ted sighed, trying to settle into the chaos. "If I throw money, she'll give me a view too?"
"Yes! YES! Do it! This place 'gives back', Ted!" Barney grinned, eyes sparkling like a kid on Christmas.
Ted threw a few bills onto the stage. The dancer shot him a flirtatious blink. She blinks toward Ted, but Barney who sits beside him gets a little excited about this.
"Ohhhh!!! She blinked at me!" Barney half-yelled, grabbing Ted's arm and shaking it with manic joy.
"I love this place!!"
Ted let out a chuckle lightly. He didn't want to kill the moment. And honestly? This beat painting styrofoam trees by a mile.
Ted didn't say anything and just looked at the dancer, but he didn't really look at her, his eyes seemed distant right now.
Barney noticed it, he thought that a whole this Robin and Marshal engagement making him thinking too much, and as his Best Friend!He can't let Ted drift far away. Of course he is wrong, Ted is just thinking about his life right now.
"Ted," Barney said suddenly, noticing Ted's thoughts drifting away from this place. There was a rare seriousness in his tone.
"You know why I brought you here?"
Ted smirked. "....Because you found a great strip club and wanted to brag about it?"
"That's… one of them," Barney admitted, giving a slow nod. Then he turned to Ted again, eyes clearer than before.
"But also because you're my friend. My best friend. I know Marshal as your friend….." Barney said while rolling his eyes and making air quotes for 'Friend' words, "...got engaged with Lily, and everything changed, you know it feels like Marshal betrayed you..." Barney said, rolling his eyes again while snorting.
He's saying that, like he didn't buy champagne to congratulate Marshal and Lily before. Ted knows that Barney is really congratulating them, and Barney knows that Marshal and Lily's relationship is stronger than anyone.
He gestured toward the dancer currently giving Ted a VIP view of her chest.
"But this, Ted… this is the best of life."
Ted let out a long breath and slipped more cash toward the dancer, this time gently tucking it between her cleavage.
She grinned. "You want a lap dance, baby?"
She couldn't touch him while she was still on stage, but she was doing everything possible to make him want one.
Before Ted could answer, Barney lifted a hand sharply.
"I'm sorry," he interrupted. "We're having a moment. Shush."
He stopped looking at the dancer entirely and turned fully, intentionally, toward Ted.
The dancer's offended pout lasted exactly half a second—until Barney added:
"Dibs. She's mine."
And suddenly, she was smiling again. Money fixes everything.
Barney leaned closer, lowering his voice so it was almost swallowed by the music.
"The point is—you still have me, Ted. We still get to do dumb stuff together. We still get to live the best of our life!. You are my wingman Ted! Don't throw that away!."
Ted blinked.
He had spent the entire day wondering what the hell he was doing with his meaningless job, fading passion, questioning every choice he'd made.
And here was Barney.
In a strip club.
Giving him actual emotional clarity.
"Thanks, man," Ted said softly. "Yeah… I'm your friend."
Barney rolled his eyes so hard it looked painful. "BEST friend! Dude, how many times do I have to remind you?! BEST. FRIEND."
Ted laughed, warmth blooming in his chest as he glanced back at the dancer.
"I think I'm back in the game," he said, letting a grin spread across his face.
"That's MY dibs, Ted!!" Barney screamed.
And the chaos rolled on, warm, ridiculous, and exactly what Ted needed. They are having a moment in a strip club, what a nice surprise.