Chapter - 54화 (54/150)
The moment Dansol got into the car, he was surrounded by Zeus's members—extreme extroverts. He'd only been thinking about Taeohh, and hadn't even considered that he would also have to spend the night with the rest of Zeus. Explaining how things ended up like this drained Dansol to the point he felt like his energy was being sucked right out.
"Ah... so that means Dansol also can't go back in because of your pride?!"
Dohyeon clapped sharply and summed up Dansol's situation in a single line. Dansol nodded weakly.
"Dansol! Don't get too down. Even our Dohyeon hyung—at first he said it was hard and ran away, then cried... and wailed..."
"Hey! Are you not going to shut up? Seriously... Dansol, he lies the moment he opens his mouth...."
"Ah! I lied?! Hyung, you're the one who—huh?!—left a note saying you needed a break and ran off, then later cried and begged the manager hyung to come pick you up because you had no money...!"
Maybe to comfort the deflated Dansol, Zeus's members kept telling war stories about how much they fought with each other. Strangely, it did make Dansol feel a little better.
"Oh my goodness! Who's this? My favorite kid!"
When Dansol followed Taeohh in, hesitantly stepping into their dorm, the one who greeted them was the auntie who handled the dorm's meals and chores.
"My goodness—if you have a guest, you have to say so!"
"Ow! That hurts! It happened so suddenly, I didn't have time to tell you!"
Smack, smack—without taking her eyes off Dansol, the auntie smacked Taeohh and the other members on the back so loudly it echoed. If someone who didn't know them saw it, they might've mistaken all of Zeus's members for her sons.
"H-hello...! Nice to meet you! I'm Joo Dansol!"
"Oh my goodness... a doll that talks! Come in. Oh dear, since we have a guest, I should show my skills!"
"Auntie! We have a performance tomorrow, so we can't eat late-night snacks!"
"Oh dear—like I can't see everything you're hiding behind your back. Didn't I tell you not to eat convenience-store food!"
Dansol had been uneasy that he'd said something he didn't need to—worried he'd made Zeus's members uncomfortable, even though he wasn't close to them. But the moment he saw the table the auntie set out, that feeling vanished completely.
He'd basically gone hungry all day, and without meaning to, Dansol ended up startling both the auntie and Zeus's members. His body was small, but he ate better than Zeus, and the auntie kept bringing him more food, saying it was nice to see.
After eating a heavy dinner, Dansol followed Taeohh to the guest room and lay down, but he couldn't fall asleep. It felt like he was at a relative's house—one that was absurdly rich.
There were so many members, and they all had their own rooms, and there was still a guest room left over.
"Did the others eat dinner...? Zeus even has hotel bedding in the guest room...."
Left alone like this, Dansol started thinking about his members again. Every time he ate something good or went somewhere nice, he still ended up thinking about those ungrateful kids who only spit out nasty words. If that wasn't an illness, he didn't know what was.
After hesitating for a long time, Dansol pressed the power button on the phone he'd kept turned off. He texted only Gilseong that he'd be sleeping over at a friend's place, and didn't contact the members separately.
「Cutie Minjae♥」
Contrary to what he expected—his phone blowing up the moment it turned on—the only messages from the members were two texts from Minjae.
"Those... ungrateful punks...!"
'Cutie Minjae♥' was the name Minjae himself had saved in Dansol's phone. Dansol had scolded him for it, but he hadn't changed it because, deep down, he liked that kind of cute affection.
Cutie Minjae♥
Hyung, are you really not coming home? It's a pork belly team dinner today
Cutie Minjae♥
Hyung, we're sorry... We know you have it harder, but we only thought about ourselves, and also the reason Woo Hyun hyung made so many mistakes today is because last night you just ran out and he couldn't practice properly because he went looking for you ㅠㅠ We were searching too but it was so hard that we said we should just go back, eat, and practice, but Woo Hyun hyung kept looking for you alone until late because he was worried. Don't turn your phone off... Hyung, you left your wallet and bag in the car too, so I don't know if you even ate ㅜㅜ Calm down and see you tomorrow, sorry hyung. You know I love you, right? ♥
At the end of Minjae's long message, a 50,000-won convenience-store gifticon came with it. They hadn't even gotten paid yet—where did a kid like him get money to do this?
"Y-you think this will move me or something?!"
Even as he burst out angrily, tears welled in Dansol's eyes as he read Minjae's long KakaoTalk message. He pushed his lips out trying to hold them back, and his chin wrinkled into a walnut-like pattern. There was no one watching, but Dansol sniffled and held back tears like his pride was hurt.
"Idiot... why were you running around looking for me? You're not a little kid. I would've gone back on my own."
Even so, Dansol still replied diligently. It had already been over five hours, but he might still be running around looking for him like an idiot.
Hyung's at a friend's place. I'll be there tomorrow on time. You don't have money, so why did you send me this. Hyung has money too. You buy something good.
After that, Dansol waited a long time for the "1" to disappear, but Minjae didn't read it—maybe he'd gone to sleep early.
Jacob had said he still seemed like he was growing taller, so Minjae had been trying to fall asleep before midnight. Was it going well?
They were still young, and Dansol wondered if he'd overreacted. Even sitting still made him sigh.
Feeling like this huge guest room was squeezing him, Dansol quietly opened the door and stepped into the living room.
"Can't sleep?"
"Eek—don't scare me."
Dohyeon was in the living room, sitting by the window and sipping wine. He looked like he'd already had quite a bit—there was a wine bottle in front of him, less than half full.
"Ah... sorry. I didn't think you'd be startled."
"No, it's not that, I just came out suddenly..."
"But why... are you up? You practiced for a long time today, so you must be tired."
"Ah... I have insomnia. Looks like you can't sleep either. Maybe... you have that too...?"
"That...? What is that...."
"K-failed-idol disease."
"Huh? That's a real disease...?"
For a moment, Dansol wondered if he'd misheard. Was Dohyeon teasing him because he was popular now? Zeus's members were loud, but he didn't think they'd openly humiliate someone like this. Dansol froze in front of the sofa, fist tightening without him realizing it, remembering the time Yoo Dohyeon and Han Yeomin had called him a "failed idol" right to his face.
"I had it too. Now I'm suffering from celebrity disease, but... don't just stand there. Sit."
Pouting, Dansol sat on the sofa directly in front of the window where Dohyeon was sitting.
"Zeus isn't a failed idol... If Zeus is a failed idol, then what are we, a failed-failed-failed idol?"
The way Dansol said "failed-failed-failed" sounded like a sulky puppy whining, and Dohyeon couldn't help letting out a small laugh. Despite his neat, composed looks, he was oddly funny. Now he understood why Taeohh talked about Dansol so much whenever he came back to the dorm.
"We totally were a failed idol group when we released our first album. You didn't know? Ah! Fresh fresh! Oh! Chubby cheeks! We even went on a kids' show like that..."
"Ah... that was Zeus?!"
That was three years ago. It was the intro song from a children's program the daughter of the pork restaurant owner—where Dansol used to work—played nonstop.
"To be precise, it wasn't Zeus. It was me. We picked the wrong concept for the first album, so I got really popular with elementary school kids."
"S-so... that K... whatever disease... is that what you got?"
"Well... you could say that. I ran away too, like you. My own popularity kept rising while the members kept screwing things up. And Taeohh, that bastard...! I'm out here competing with a seal in a clapping contest, whining about how my palms feel like they're on fire."
Dohyeon sighed as if the memory came back.
"Honestly, a seal that can't talk is better. Have you ever filmed with twenty preschoolers, Dansol?"
Still sipping wine, Dohyeon looked like he'd gotten heated up talking about the past. He lifted his glass and downed it in one shot, then asked Dansol. Intimidated by the ominous energy, Dansol shook his head.
"If you spend all day with them, it feels like there's a siren going off in your ears—eeeng, eeeng. I'm sure I clocked out, but... I swear I heard things. Auditory hallucinations, I'm telling you! And then dramas on top of dramas, events on top of events—go, go, go... Later, I couldn't even tell if I'd come to an event, or a shoot, or a variety show... and then it was like my tape got cut. Just—snap! I couldn't remember anything."
"W-what...?! That's not the Joseon dynasty. How do they work people like that...!"
"Exactly! I don't even remember what I did, but they say my acting is bad, my attitude is bad... and the hate comments, too—there were so many. If you can't sleep more than five hours in a week and still smile brightly, isn't that the dangerous one?"
With dead eyes, Dohyeon put on a huge smile. The sight was so crazed that Dansol flinched, then slowly scooted away from him—so slowly he wouldn't notice.
"Any time the members said something, I'd bite and tear at them because I was so sensitive... Honestly, back then I thought I was the only one feeding our whole team. Like I had to take care of everything, and without me, they couldn't do anything. That's K-failed-idol disease. There's this natural flow in this industry, you know? One popular member struggles alone and then disappears. In the end, it got too heavy, too scary, so I ran away. I was scared that if I disappeared after struggling alone, everyone would blame me, and only I'd get cursed at."
Dansol thought of himself before his regression—someone who fought like his life depended on it alone, only to drag the whole team into a swamp in the end. A truly failed idol.
That was another name for Joo Dansol.
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