Fifteen days had passed since Xie Chi arrived in the war zone.
Time and again, he had chased a lead only to come up empty. Time and again, hope dissolved into crushing disappointment. He had yet to find a single trace of Jiang Ciyou.
After venturing deep into a high-risk crossfire zone, he had lost his bearings. Even his satellite signal had vanished completely.
The stars above began to blur, and memories of the past flashed before his eyes in a relentless loop.
He saw Jiang Ciyou kneeling at his feet, covered in wounds, her eyes red and swollen.
He remembered how she had desperately tried to explain that video, yet he had only cared about comforting Wen Zhishao. He had driven her away without a second thought... on the very eve of her birthday.
He remembered how, even after she saved the woman trying to kill her, he still suspected her. He remembered the riding crop snapping against her back, tearing her skin. He remembered dragging her to the infirmary while her hands were still wrapped in fresh bandages...
Xie Chi clutched his chest, digging his fingers into the fabric, but the physical pain brought no relief.
His heart felt shattered into a million pieces, every shard piercing him with the same question: How could you be so cruel?
He had promised her once, "Don't worry. I will protect you for a lifetime. I will never let you cry again."
How could he have forgotten that?
"Ciyou..." Xie Chi's cracked lips moved, his voice raspy and broken. "I'm sorry."
As the world around him faded into gray, he summoned the last of his strength to pull his soldier's handbook from his inner pocket.
Without hesitation, Xie Chi bit down hard on his fingertip, breaking the skin. The sharp sting was nothing compared to the agony in his heart.
With a trembling, blood-stained finger, he wrote his final testament on the title page, stroke by agonizing stroke:
"I leave all my assets to Jiang Ciyou. When she is found, please do not tell her of my death... I owe her too much. Do not let her shed any more tears for me. — Xie Chi."
He tried desperately to make the characters legible, but his fingers refused to obey. As his consciousness blurred, his mind drifted back to when he was eight years old.
He had found a wolf pup at a farm. He loved it and wanted to take it home.
But that very night, the pup was beaten to death and disposed of.
His mother had said, "Wolves are dangerous beasts. I will not allow you to be hurt by it."
Any deviation from the path set for him was ruthlessly strangled by his mother in the name of "doing it for his own good."
He never dared to cross the line again. He never dared to disobey an order. He even ruthlessly suppressed the deepest desires of his own heart.
That was why he became the Commander's most valued student, the anointed successor of the Special Forces.
The path his mother chose was never wrong. Everyone did everything "for his own good."
He had no right to blame his mother or the discipline he lived by. If there was anyone to blame, it was himself. He had pushed Jiang Ciyou away with his own hands.
Was it just because she fell in love with him?
No.
He had silently allowed others to despise her, ignored the pain she suffered, and even drove her away... all because of fear.
He was terrified that Jiang Ciyou's reckless, unconditional love would shake his resolve, cause him to make mistakes, and make him lose control.
That was why he had agreed when the Commander arranged his engagement to Wen Zhishao.
But now, he was no longer afraid.
If the road to her meant stepping into hell first... then so be it.
As long as Jiang Ciyou could be happy, he was willing to bear all the sin and punishment.
He didn't know how much time had passed. Maybe a day. Maybe just a few minutes.
In his chaotic, fading world, a familiar voice suddenly cut through the darkness.
"What did you need me for?"
The voice came from behind a tent wall, slightly muffled.
But Xie Chi's fading consciousness recognized it instantly.
It was Jiang Ciyou. It was her voice!
His eyelids trembled violently, fighting to open in the next second.