"What is this stuff? Wine?"
Minister_of_Excuses, wearing a chainmail shirt and clutching a steel sword he had snatched from the pile, led several members of the Pyromancer Guild into a stone chamber that resembled a wine cellar.
Looking at the jars and pots in front of him, player No_Cure_For_Stupid, who was shouldering a crossbow, voiced his confusion to his companions.
Hearing this, Dawn stepped forward and deliberately tapped one of the specially treated clay jars. He looked at No_Cure:
"Are you sure people here store wine in these things? Westerners usually use wooden barrels, right? Like the rum pirates drink in movies.
"Besides, although my family also stores wine underground, I guarantee you these are definitely not wine."
King_of_Femboys struggled into the room, hugging a two-handed greatsword that was clearly too heavy for his slender frame. He caught the end of Dawn's sentence.
"So what is it? It can't be bombs, right?"
"Mhm. I think it is. Ancient armies would fill clay pots with flammable substances and launch them via catapults at unlucky enemies. Then boom—burn, baby, burn."
Minister_of_Excuses raised an eyebrow and wandered around, trying to estimate how many jars were stored here.
Through the System interface, Viserys watched the players' every move. He saw the shelves neatly stacked with jars.
"There is a local saying: Piss on Wildfire, and your cock burns off," the System Sprite (Fireboy), who usually stayed quiet unless summoned, suddenly popped up to educate Viserys.
"Wildfire!" Viserys was startled. He knew what players were like.
If they accidentally set off those barrels of highly volatile Wildfire... well, it didn't matter if the players died since they could respawn. But if they burned down the armory he had just secured, he would have nowhere to cry.
Especially since the people poking around the Wildfire right now were the Pyromancer players—walking fire hazards. This was not a joke.
Afraid he wouldn't make it down in time to stop them, Viserys immediately spent 5 Kingdom Coins to broadcast a server-wide announcement:
[ ATTENTION: Pyromancer players Minister_of_Excuses, Dawn, King_of_Femboys, and others. Please step away from the Wildfire immediately. ]
[ Wildfire burns at extremely high temperatures. It can melt wood, stone, and even steel. Your flesh and blood are nothing to it! If you accidentally ignite the Wildfire, these demons from hell will reduce everyone in this cavern to ash! ]
The Pyromancers, who were just discussing how to pry open the lids, jumped back in fright.
"Holy crap. What the hell are those firebugs doing? They triggered a server announcement?"
Simultaneously, other players who received the notification started buzzing.
"Damn, is the Pyromancer Guild planning a mass self-immolation?"
"Are they stupid? Run! My life doesn't matter, but don't burn my new gear!"
"Yeah, run! Let those arsonists burn themselves!"
Inside the stone chamber, even knowing it was a game and they wouldn't truly die, anyone standing next to a pile of explosives that could go off with a single spark would instinctively feel terrified.
However, unlike the others, Minister_of_Excuses didn't leave. Instead, he looked like he had discovered a rare treasure.
"Guild Leader! Did you... did you open it? If it blows, the rest of the players will tear our guild apart!" No_Cure_For_Stupid, adjusting his crooked helmet, shouted from outside the room.
"Beautiful," Minister_of_Excuses whispered, staring obsessively at the rows of Wildfire jars as if looking at the Holy Grail. "This is the good stuff. As Pyromancers, if we don't have something explosive on us, what kind of Pyromancers are we?"
He muttered this to himself, but also for those outside to hear.
"Leave anything flammable outside." Dawn placed his various bottles and vials on the ground and was the first to walk back into the stone chamber. It's not like I'll actually die. What's there to be afraid of?
King_of_Femboys sighed, exchanged a helpless glance with No_Cure, unloaded his flammable gear, and led the new members back inside.
"Looking at these beauties, I have an idea. Do you guys want to hear it?" Minister_of_Excuses withdrew his hand from a Wildfire jar and turned to his guild members.
"Are you planning to build trebuchets? That's a good idea. Definitely useful for sieges," Dawn said, his eyes lighting up as he clapped his hands.
"Trebuchets?" Minister_of_Excuses grinned. "You need to think bigger. Have you guys ever heard of... suicide bombers?"
His words stunned the Pyromancers. They looked at their Guild Leader with suspicion.
Are you a Jihadist too?
---
Once Viserys confirmed the Wildfire was safe for the moment, he led the other curious players—who had also unequipped their gear—down to the chamber.
Seeing the fervent look in Minister_of_Excuses's eyes, Viserys recalled memories buried deep within this body. Memories of his father, the Mad King, who was obsessed with Wildfire, and the equally mad Alchemists of the Guild.
"Seal these jars of Wildfire here. Do not move them. Move all the weapons, armor, spices, and dragon bones up to the surface. Do not store them with these explosives."
Shocked by the sheer amount of Wildfire Illyrio had stockpiled, Viserys looked warily at the jars. He wasn't a player; he couldn't respawn with Kingdom Coins.
"Your Grace, I have a proposal regarding this Wildfire." Minister_of_Excuses rubbed his hands together. In Viserys's eyes, the player's silhouette seemed to overlap with the mad pyromancers his mother used to call lunatics and sycophants.
"Oh? Let's hear it." Viserys assumed the player would suggest using the Wildfire in catapults for siege warfare, which he had already considered.
Or so His Grace thought.
But Minister's next words made Viserys, who was walking away with his hands behind his back, spin around in shock like that famous meme:
"Suicide bombers?!"
"Yes! For Your Grace, we will not hesitate to sacrifice our bodies! Long live House Targaryen!" Minister's eyes burned with fanaticism. Heaven knows why a person in the modern world would be such a dedicated enthusiast of the art of explosion.
Well, explosion IS art.
Behind him, the members of his Pyromancer Guild took a collective step back. Their eyes seemed to say:
"Is that loyalty? No, that's just you having an addiction to blowing sht up."
"Good..." After a long pause, Viserys gave the player a strange look, then patted him on the shoulder.
"Starting today, I appoint you as the Commander of the Grenadier Corps. You may find like-minded individuals to... manage these jars of Wildfire."