Rook woke up early, and the first thing he did was check up on his sister. To his relief, she was still breathing. The bottles of medicine on her nightstand were almost empty, and Rook didn't have the money to buy more.
'Dammit... at this rate the medicine will only last four days if she is lucky. Fuck.'
He pulled the blanket up to her chin and went to find his mother. She was also awake already, in the kitchen, packing his bag. The moment he saw her he knew, she didn't sleep at all, probably nervous about him going away to the capital.
"Morning mom."
She could not bring herself to look at him. "Good morning son. Did you sleep alright?"
He sat down at the table and took a piece of bread from the plate. "Well, not really. I am very nervous, I have never been to the capital. I don't know what to expect."
"Just be careful. People there are not fond of people like us." She paused, still fussing with the bag. "Also, your bread is on the left side, don't crush it."
He could tell from her body language that she really didn't want this.
"Mom, it is ok. I will be alright, you don't have to worry so much. You will end up increasing your blood pressure at this rate."
She finally stopped and looked at him. Her eyes were red and a little puffy, like she had been crying earlier but didn't want him to know.
"I know you will be alright," she said quietly. "I just... I cannot help it. You are my son, and you are going somewhere I cannot follow. What am I supposed to do if something happens and I am not there?"
"Then I will handle it myself." He took another bite of bread. "I have been taking care of things on my own for a while now, mom. I am not a little kid anymore."
"You are seventeen."
"Exactly. Practically an old man."
She let out a small laugh, and it was the first time she had smiled since he woke up. "You are ridiculous."
"I learned from the best."
They sat in silence for a while after that. Rook finished his bread, and his mother just watched him, like she was trying to memorize his face. It made him a little uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything about it. She needed this moment, so he let her have it.
"The letter from Father Brennan is in the front pocket," she said eventually. "If anyone asks why a commoner like you can read, show them that. And there is some dried meat at the bottom of the bag, try not to eat it all on the first day."
"I won't."
"And if anyone gives you trouble, just walk away. Don't get into fights, don't argue with nobles, don't do anything stupid."
"Mom."
"I am serious, Rook. People like us don't get second chances out there. You mess up once and that is it. They will throw you out and nobody will care."
He reached across the table and took her hand. It was rough from years of working on the farm, but warm.
"I know," he said. "I will be careful. I promise."
She squeezed his hand back and did not let go for a long moment. When she finally did, she stood up and walked around the table to pull him into a hug. It was tight, tighter than usual, and she held on like she was afraid to let go.
"Come back," she whispered. "Promise me you will come back."
"I will. I promise."
She let go, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and shoved the bag into his arms.
"Go. Before I change my mind and lock you in the barn."
"We don't have a lock on the barn."
"I will buy one."
He laughed, slung the bag over his shoulder, and headed for the door. Before he stepped outside, he turned back one more time.
"Take care of Tess for me."
"I always do." She tried to smile, but it did not quite reach her eyes. "Now go. The capital is not going to wait for you."
He stepped outside and closed the door behind him. The morning air was cold, and the sun was just starting to rise over the fields. He stood there for a moment, looking at the small house he had lived in his entire life, then turned and started walking.
He didn't look back. If he looked back, he might not be able to keep going.
The first day was the hardest. Every step took him further from home, further from everything he knew. He kept thinking about his mother standing alone in that kitchen, about his sister lying in that bed, and about all the things that could go wrong while he was gone.
'Stop it. You can not afford to think like that.'
So he stopped thinking and just walked.
The roads got wider as he went, the villages got bigger, and the people started looking at him differently. Not with hostility exactly, just indifference, like he was not even there. He passed merchants with their carts full of goods, soldiers marching in formation, and nobles in carriages who did not even glance out the window as they rolled past. Nobody noticed him, and nobody cared.
'Just keep walking. That is all you have to do.'
The walking itself was not hard. His body could handle it easily, even carrying the pack for hours without rest. That was never the problem. The problem was his head.
By the second day, his thoughts kept drifting back to Tess. He wondered if she was eating, if she was sleeping, if the medicine was holding out. He slept under a tree that night, the ground was cold and uncomfortable, but his body adjusted quickly. It was his mind that would not let him rest.
The third day was worse. He ate the last of the bread for lunch and rationed the dried meat for dinner, even though he was not particularly hungry. His mother had told him not to eat it all at once, so he didn't.
'She is always right, and honestly it is kind of annoying.'
On the fourth day, everything started to blur together. His legs moved on their own while his mind kept drifting back home, to the medicine running low, to his mother alone in that kitchen, to Tess lying in that bed. He could not stop himself from worrying even though he knew it would not help anything.
'I need to stop doing this to myself. There is nothing I can do from here, so there is no point in driving myself crazy.'
And then, just as the sun was starting to set, he finally saw it. The walls of the capital rising up in the distance, massive and gray, with the towers of Greymount Academy stretching up behind them. It was bigger than he had imagined, more imposing than anything he had ever seen in the Lowfields.
'So that is where I am going. That is the place that is supposed to change everything.'
He adjusted his bag and kept walking. His body still felt fine, but his head was exhausted. Four days of walking was nothing compared to four days of worrying about things he could not control.
'Almost there. Just a little bit more and I will finally be there.'