Main bachchi thi, par mujhe bachchi jaisa behave karne ka time hi nahi mila.
Jab doosre bachche galti karte the aur unhe maaf kar diya jaata tha,
mujhe samjha diya jaata tha.
"Tum samajhdaar ho na."
Ye sentence meri life ka sabse pehla burden tha.
Mujhe yaad nahi main kab badi hui.
Bas itna yaad hai ki ek din main ro rahi thi,
aur agle din mujhe strong banna pad gaya.
Growing up too soon ka matlab ye nahi hota ki tum jaldi mature ho jaate ho.
Iska matlab hota hai ki tumhe apna bachpan chhodna padta hai—
bina pooche, bina choice ke.
Mere ghar mein problems thi, par un par baat nahi hoti thi.
Silence ko strength maana jaata tha.
Aur emotions ko weakness.
To maine seekh liya tha ki chup rehna hi safe hai.
Jab mujhe darr lagta tha, main bolti nahi thi.
Jab mujhe kisi cheez ki zarurat hoti thi, main maangti nahi thi.
Aur jab mujhe comfort chahiye hota tha, main khud ko hi samjha leti thi.
Main wo bachchi ban gayi thi jo sabka khayal rakhti thi,
par jiska khayal koi nahi rakhta tha.
School mein teachers ke liye main "perfect student" thi.
Ghar mein relatives ke liye "samajhdaar bacchi".
Aur doston ke liye "strong one".
Par koi ye nahi jaanta tha ki main kitni thaki hui thi—
andar se.
Growing up too soon ka sabse dardnaak part ye hota hai
ki tumhe apni feelings samajhne se pehle
dusron ki feelings samajhna aa jaata hai.
Mujhe logon ke moods read karna aata tha.
Unke silence ke matlab samajh aate the.
Unke tone ke peeche ka gussa ya disappointment pakad leti thi.
Par mujhe ye nahi pata tha ki main kya feel kar rahi hoon.
Main bas react karti thi—
situations ke hisaab se, logon ke hisaab se.
Bachpan mein hi mujhe ye sikhaya gaya tha
ki agar tum useful ho, to tum important ho.
To main useful ban gayi.
Maine apni needs chhoti kar li.
Apni expectations low kar li.
Aur apni awaaz dheere dheere kam kar di.
Growing up too soon ka effect dheere-dheere dikhta hai.
Tum strong lagte ho, par tum soft nahi reh paate.
Tum independent lagte ho, par tum help maangna bhool jaate ho.
Tum pyaar chahte ho,
par jab pyaar milta hai to tum us par trust nahi kar paate.
Is web-novel ki heroine bhi aisi hi hai.
Wo hass leti hai, mazaak kar leti hai,
par raat ko jab sab so jaate hain,
tab wo apne thoughts ke saath akeli hoti hai.
Usse lagta hai jaise wo ek aise race mein daud rahi ho
jiska finish line hi nahi hai.
Wo thak jaati hai,
par rukna use guilt deta hai.
Kyunki use bachpan se sikhaya gaya tha—
rukna matlab fail hona.
Pehla emotional breakdown dramatic nahi hota.
Wo dheere aata hai.
Ek din wo realise karti hai
ki wo kisi se baat karte hue bhi akeli feel kar rahi hai.
Ki uski smile automatic ho chuki hai.
Aur uska "theek hoon" jhooth ban chuka hai.
Growing up too soon tumhe ek aadat de deta hai—
khud ko last rakhne ki aadat.
Wo heroine bhi wahi karti hai.
Relationships mein bhi, dosti mein bhi, pyaar mein bhi.
Wo samajhti hai.
Wo maaf karti hai.
Wo adjust karti hai.
Par jab use samajhne ki baari aati hai,
to saamne silence hota hai.
Hero is kahani mein saviour nahi hota.
Wo bhi apne struggles ke saath aata hai.
Par usme ek cheez alag hoti hai—
wo rukta hai.
Wo heroine ki baaton ko fix nahi karta.
Wo bas sunta hai.
Aur heroine ke liye ye naya experience hota hai.
Usse pehli baar feel hota hai
ki bina strong bane bhi koi use accept kar sakta hai.
Is kahani ka turning point wo moment hota hai
jab heroine apne inner child ko dekhti hai.
Wo bachchi jo ro nahi paayi.
Wo bachchi jo zyada jaldi samajhdaar ban gayi.
Wo bachchi jo sirf thoda sa safe feel karna chahti thi.
Growing up too soon ka healing phase easy nahi hota.
Tumhe un habits ko todna padta hai
jo tumhe survive karne mein madad karti thi
par jeene mein nahi.
Wo seekhti hai:
help maangna weakness nahi hai
emotions express karna burden nahi hai
aur khud ko choose karna selfish nahi hai
Last chapters mein heroine koi perfect healed person nahi ban jaati.
Wo bas gentle ho jaati hai—
khud ke saath.
Wo jaanti hai ki use har cheez handle nahi karni.
Wo jaanti hai ki use kabhi-kabhi bachchi jaisa feel karne ka haq hai.
Aur sabse important—
wo jaanti hai ki uska bachpan wapas nahi aayega,
par wo apne future ko thoda soft bana sakti hai.
Growing up too soon ne usse strong banaya,
par healing ne usse human banaya.
Aur yahi is web-novel ka sach hai.
Kuch log jaldi bade ho jaate hain
kyunki unke paas aur koi option nahi hota.
Par jab wo khud ko wapas choose karna seekh lete hain,
to wo apni kahani ko dobara likh sakte hain.
Aur kahani yahin khatam nahi hoti.
Yahin se heroine apni zindagi ko pehli baar
apni speed pe jeena shuru karti hai.
Verity of Ash ✨