Now, you know that thing that books describe as sparks flying when a wolf meets its mate and the human feels butterflies in the stomach because he can't feel the mate bond like wolves and shit?
Well, my case is a little different, see instead of sparks and butterflies his comes in the shape of severe nausea and he doubles over to empty everything he has eaten in the last twenty-four hours, probably.
I feel it the moment the bond recoils viciously against him. It only takes a few seconds for the bond to start working towards bringing two destined mates together. The first touch. Wolves will know instantly on the first glance, we can tell by smell and sight. In as much as we don't magically fall in love with each other, we become attracted to one another. It's like a metal and a magnet.
I knew he was mine the moment I locked eyes with him, the moment his scent hit me I knew. but this... what is this?
My animal side whines in distress as it urges me to get up and calm our mate who is still doubled over retching.
He has been at it for over two minutes now, from the moment our skin touched, and I was violently thrown down while he doubled over and started vomiting.
I have been an alpha for over ten years now; I have seen my own share of completed bonding's, and I have never witnessed anything like this.
My animal gives me another urge and I get up. Maybe it was all in my head and just static.
I stand back up and climb the three steps to his porch were I carefully put my hand over his back and rub a few times, he shrugs my hand off, but I remain. Am careful not to touch his actual skin and just concentrate on comforting him. His puking now sounds even more miserable and he manages to push me away with his hand, which actually surprises me because it was a very light shove that somehow felt like he would've thrown me ten meters away if I hadn't steadied myself.
"...go" he murmurs in between breaths and stands from his position. He holds his hand over his mouth and turns to look at me. His hazel eyes are now a dull shade as he frowns deeply at me. He seems to search my gaze and when he doesn't find whatever he is looking for he removes his hand that covers his mouth and goes to open his front door. My intention to follow him inside and make sure he is fine is met with resistance and a cold glare from him.
"Leave"
"I will, I just want to make sure you're going to be fine even when I leave, please"
"...am going to be fine, I just need to sleep it off" he mumbles quietly looking everywhere but at me. I seem to be getting the idea that he might also think am the problem because he suddenly seems weary of me.
"...right" Pain rushes through me as the incomplete bond dances around my chest like a wave of unrest. I know it's most likely due to my wolf thinking he has been rejected that I feel like shit and react before I can talk myself out of it and grab him, my arms wrap around his waist in an embrace and the exact moment our skin meets his literally ripped out of my arms as am violently thrown a good feet away were I land painfully on my arm and bruise it.
I hear his front door shut even as I groan from the crash. This time I confirm that it is indeed the bond that makes him sick, I know because I can still hear him retching from somewhere in the house and it sounds so terrible I want to cry for him.
It takes a good five to seven minutes of me just sitting on the cold hard earth and thinking through our encounters throughout the day. I run through my thoughts and realize that Ekron and I actually never touched before this night. We have avoided skin contact for all the interactions we have had earlier in the day.
something is wrong with our bond. The thought is as clear as my mind now and I stand and look at the house where my mate still seems to be puking and make my way to my truck. I pull out of his driveway and make my way to the pack house where my office is. I ignore a few links trying to come through and just shut everyone out.
It doesn't take me long to find the library and go through pack bonds throughout history. I come up empty with just a few rejections were one or two wolves died but nothing dramatic or major.
I have been in the library for at least three hours before my beta finds me. I feel his presence settle on the floor besides me despite my closed eyelids. Austin doesn't say anything for a few minutes. He just sits there and let's me be.
Austin is like the mate I missed out on really. If I actually had to choose a mate for myself, it would probably be this man. He has a way with just letting me be. Sometimes we can just sit in silence for hours on end and still understand each other. Not that I feel anything remotely towards him at all though. I kind of envy his mate.
He would've made the best mate if I was gay.
...Right, I am gay apparently and now my mate literally gets sick at the sight of me.
I sigh and for the first time since my teenage years I actually feel like crying. Not the manly controlled crying but the full-on sobbing, messy shit that humans do. And I do just that. I turn to my best friend and beta knowing he is the last person to judge me and wrap my arms around him and cry.
Austin freezes for a moment before he wraps his arms around me in comfort. And for some stupid reason, the gesture just makes me more vulnerable and I sob even harder.
"Hey, hey... it's alright. Let it out, let it all out yeah" he soothes while running his arms up and down my back and arms.