"Why should I learn some useless Ninja Technique developed by the Senju clan? Am I not strong enough already?"
Uchiha Hikari pouted as she asked Makoto, crossing her arms in defiance.
"What?! Useless Ninja Technique? You inherently evil Uchig-Uchiha brat, do you realize what you're saying?!"
Tobirama couldn't contain himself upon hearing a Uchiha dare to evaluate his life's work this way he almost slip out!
"Inherently gay old Senju man."
"?"
A visible question mark appeared above Tobirama's head.
"What did you say?"
"Seems your hearing is rotting too, always asking 'what did you say.' I said..."
Hikari took a deep breath and enunciated clearly.
"Inherently gay old Senju man. Your clan only knows how to sell out your bodies, you perverts!"
"Ugh!"
Tobirama stepped back, his left hand clutching his chest as if he was suffering a heart attack!
Unbelievable! This Uchiha girl actually spoke with such venom!
Compared to this, his "inherently evil" remark seemed like a polite greeting.
"You! How can a young girl like you slander people so baselessly!"
Tobirama was furious!
When he said the Uchiha were inherently evil, it was an objective conclusion drawn from his scientific research.
But her "inherently gay" comment was clearly made up on the spot!
Seeing Tobirama's agitation, Hashirama quickly panicked and locked him in a 'full nelson' hold from behind.
"Brother, what the hell are you doing?!"
Tobirama looked back at Hashirama with a mix of disgust and confusion.
'Damn it! Just when that Uchiha brat was claiming our Senju clan rose to power by 'selling our bodies,' you suddenly hug me from behind like this!'
'Isn't this just giving them visual evidence?!'
"Tobirama, don't be impulsive. Don't hurt little Hikari," Hashirama pleaded, shrinking his head slightly.
This statement simultaneously disgusted both Uchiha Hikari and Tobirama Senju.
Uchiha Hikari didn't need to say anything; upon hearing Hashirama's protective tone, she got goosebumps all over.
If Makoto hadn't just reminded her that the best way to deal with a weirdo like Hashirama was to ignore him, she would have activated Susanoo immediately to raze the area!
Tobirama felt even more despair.
'Brother, who exactly is your sibling here?'
'You and Madara being all lovey-dovey is one thing, but how does some newly met Uchiha brat already rank above me? Why not just change your name to Hashirama Senju-nee Uchiha and be done with it?'
"Besides," Tobirama argued, "she already demonstrated the Mangekyo Sharingan earlier! She even used Amaterasu! You're afraid I might hurt her, but aren't you afraid she might hurt me?"
Tobirama nearly broke down in tears!
"Tobirama, have you lost your mind? Aren't we already dead? How could she possibly hurt you?" Hashirama asked with a genuinely puzzled expression.
"..."
Tobirama stared into the void.
'Right, wasn't I already dead? What was I even saying?'
'Truly, one shouldn't talk too much with idiots.'
'If you argue with them too long, they'll drag your intelligence down to their level and then defeat you with their extensive experience.'
"Young man, did you say something bad about our Senju clan to Hikari?"
Hashirama released the distraught Tobirama and turned to Makoto.
"Not at all. I just told her about your relationship with Uchiha Madara—the deep love and hate between you two before and after founding Konoha," Makoto said, holding up his hands in innocence.
"Regardless of what you said, I need to clarify that Madara and I have a pure, male-male relationship." Hashirama shifted his gaze to Hikari, trying to look dignified.
"..."
Hikari continued to ignore him.
They've already been that intimate, and he calls it pure? Gross.
"So, First Hokage, is your relationship with your wife, Mito Uzumaki, pure or dirty?" Makoto asked casually.
"Of course it's pure!" Hashirama answered instinctively.
Then he suddenly realized the trap.
His relationship with Mito was that of husband and wife—of course it was pure love.
But saying this created a direct parallel with his earlier statement about having a "pure male-male relationship" with Madara...
'Damn it.'
The more he explained, the worse it sounded!
"Tobirama... say something to help me out..." Hashirama turned back to help Tobirama up from the dust.
"Get lost, brother. Do you see her paying any attention to you? You're still trying to explain to the air?"
Tobirama glanced at Hashirama, his brutal truth-bomb instantly making Hashirama dejectedly retreat to a corner to grow mushrooms again.
'I won't teach her...' Tobirama thought stubbornly.
But then, a terrifying thought crossed his mind.
Orochimaru couldn't control him now. But what about later? He couldn't remain in this world as a free-roaming zombie forever.
Once the Impure World Reincarnation was released and he returned to the afterlife, Orochimaru could simply summon him again using inferior sacrifices, gaining full control of him.
Then, using Makoto's twisted methods, he might force him to use Multiple Shadow Clones and the Transformation Technique to work in red-light districts to make money...
'FUCKKKKKKKK.'
'If I don't cooperate, our Senju clan will truly become 'ass-sellers' just like that girl said!'
To protect the clan's dignity (and his own ass), the ever-proud Tobirama Senju reluctantly changed his tune.
"Ahem. It's not that I don't want to teach her, but the Multi Shadow Clone Technique is a Forbidden Jutsu. Without sufficient Chakra reserves, using it recklessly can be fatal."
"Second Hokage, you don't need to worry about that. Hikari has no shortage of Chakra," Makoto interjected with a smile.
"Her Mangekyo ability, Eight Thousand Spears, can mark people, allowing her to unconditionally absorb Chakra through these marks for her own use or transfer it to others."
Makoto pointed at the reanimated brothers. "Speaking of which, we should thank you, Second Hokage, for developing the Impure World Reincarnation."
"Hikari only needs to place an Eight Thousand Spears mark on an Impure World Reincarnated body and she can gain the 'Infinite Chakra' characteristic without having to be dead herself."
"And then, there's your Multi Shadow Clones."
"Since Hikari won't lack Chakra, once she learns Multi Shadow Clones, she can use them freely without limit."
"When she activates Susanoo while using Multi Shadow Clones, her enemies would have to face dozens, even hundreds of Susanoo warriors simultaneously. The characteristic of shadow clones disappearing when attacked is also negated by the absolute defense of Susanoo."
"The most crucial aspect of Hikari's Eight Thousand Spears is how to leave a mark on the opponent. Thus, the god-like speed of the Flying Thunder God becomes the perfect complement—it might even allow 'dual usage of a single mark' when the time comes."
Makoto paused to let the horror sink in.
"So you see, Second Hokage, while you claim to despise the Uchiha and developed all your Ninja Techniques to counter them, for Hikari, it seems you developed them specifically to make her a god. It's almost poetic~"
Makoto's words struck Tobirama like a lethal blow to the heart!
It was true.
After Makoto's explanation, his three proudest forbidden techniques—Impure World Reincarnation, Shadow Clones, and Flying Thunder God—did indeed appear to perfectly complement Uchiha Hikari.
It was the ultimate irony.
"...If she herself doesn't want to learn, I think you should respect her wishes," Tobirama weakly struggled, clinging to his last hope.
"No, I'll learn it," Hikari suddenly changed her tune.
"Nani?!" Tobirama was stunned.
Wait, that's not what you said earlier!
What happened to the "useless Ninja Techniques of the Senju clan"?!
"Hmph."
Seeing Tobirama look at her with despair, Hikari snorted and turned her head away.
If it made him unhappy, she was happy!
Besides, to help Makoto, what was the big deal about learning a few techniques from a grumpy zombie? She could endure it!
"Can't you have some consistency, you inherently evil Uchiha brat?!" Tobirama shouted, losing his composure completely.
"None of your business, you inherently gay Senju old man!" Hikari retorted instantly.
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