Sai grabbed the handle of the brush.
As everyone knows, Sai uses Super Beast Imitation Painting, and his brushes come in several types.
The one he had given Danzo was, of course, the thickest, most suitable size for holding ink.
And the bristles were extremely sturdy and resilient.
So, when Sai pulled it out, the friction made Danzo shudder violently.
He instinctively gasped.
"Wait, don't!"
Who is Sai? He's a Root member.
Utterly, fundamentally loyal to Danzo!
So, of course, he must instantly obey his master's commands.
Schlick.
Sai shoved it right back in.
"..."
Everyone fell silent.
Danzo fell silent.
The other two Root members stared at the wall, completely silent.
They knew Sai lacked human understanding, but they never imagined his social autism reached this terrifying extent.
Danzo began to feel a profound sense of regret—regret for creating a training program that completely erased the humanity and common sense of his subordinates.
'What kind of fucking monster had I turned this kid into?'
"Forget it, Sai. You have other brushes, right? Just leave," Danzo waved a trembling hand at Sai, his face pale and sweating.
When Sai had just put it back in, he had accidentally pierced Danzo's hemorrhoids.
Having sat for decades in a damp, dark underground Root chair, Danzo naturally suffered from severe hemorrhoids.
Danzo didn't dare let Sai remove the brush again.
He feared the blood that might splash during removal.
If blood touched the sealing tags binding his chakra, it might trigger the prison's alarm.
That would be disastrous!
And so, Danzo kept clenching the brush.
Carefully supported by two Root members, the "Shadow of Konoha" waddled awkwardly out of his prison cell.
...
Danzo didn't know this was a fishing trap set specifically for him.
After all, he couldn't imagine what value his current, wretched situation held for such baiting.
Moreover, even if it were a trap, Danzo had no other choices.
He could only waddle forward down this dark path.
Could he possibly just obediently serve his prison sentence? No.... it was either victory or death!
However...
Waiting in the woods outside the prison were Hiruzen Sarutobi, Kakashi Hatake, Yamato, Kushina Uzumaki, and a heavily gagged tied-up Might Gai.
When they saw Sai emerge first to scout, Kakashi stopped the eager Gai from charging forward, giving the Green Beast a meaningful glare.
Before the mission, Hiruzen had explicitly reminded them: Danzo is the absolute priority.
Do not engage the grunts.
Clearly, Gai had already forgotten this. If not for his raw combat strength, they would have never brought him along.
Hence, the gag.
"What's this?"
Hiruzen cautiously approached the tree line and picked up an object discarded in the grass.
It was something Sai had tossed aside before leaving.
'Could it be some kind of encrypted Root intelligence?'
No... wasn't this that Root kid's scroll painting canvas? Before coming here, they had thoroughly investigated the three Root members.
"What is this?"
Hiruzen unrolled the scroll and discovered some foul-smelling yellow-brown pigment stains on it.
He touched it with his thumb..... it was still wet.
"Lord Third, don't—!" Kushina gagged, recognizing what was on the paper instantly.
Hiruzen clearly lacked Kushina's maternal instincts for identifying shit.
Being in an Edo Tensei body with dulled physical sensations was truly disorienting; he had lost much of his tactile perception!
When Hiruzen brought his thumb closer and finally realized what he was touching, his face immediately darkened to the color of charcoal.
He hastily wiped his fingers furiously on the grass and threw the cursed scroll into the bushes!
Just then, Danzo waddled out into the clearing.
Following their prearranged plan, Hiruzen immediately leaped from the trees.
"Enma!"
The Monkey King transformed into the Adamantine Staff and flew toward him.
Catching the massive pole mid-air, Hiruzen struck down the two Root members supporting Danzo in a single fluid motion.
A dramatic, badass entrance!
Striking a heroic pose, Hiruzen slowly raised his head to glare at his old rival.
"Danzo! I am the Hokage! Anyone who threatens Konoha shall—HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"
Hiruzen suddenly froze in absolute horror.
He noticed the wooden handle of a paintbrush protruding from the back of Danzo's pants!
What the fuck did this mean?!
Had Danzo done something unspeakable to his painting-proficient subordinate while in the cell?
No, that seemed backwards.
Danzo was the one struggling to walk.
'Could it be... that the Root members, seeing the usually aloof and domineering Danzo stripped of all power, bound, and blindfolded... couldn't resist the temptation created by this role reversal, and so they...?'
Hiruzen looked at the massive, extending Adamantine Staff in his hand and instinctively hid it behind his back.
He was genuinely afraid Danzo might want to... play with it.
Keep Enma away from that man!
"Hiruzen, you..."
Danzo heard Hiruzen's voice.
Though he was blindfolded, he detected the commotion, the dramatic entrance, and that horrified "Holy shit!" Danzo's face burned with the heat of a thousand suns.
He understood exactly what Hiruzen had just seen.
Danzo's body trembled with ultimate unbearable humiliation.
"Hiruzen! You are no longer the Hidden Leaf bathed in sunlight! You are among the dead, unfit to remain in this world!"
"I am the Root thriving in darkness! Destined to purge decay like you!"
Struggling violently, Danzo shattered his restraints, tearing his shirt open to reveal the black ink patterns on his chest.
'No way.'
Everyone in the trees was stunned.
Was Danzo about to self-destruct ALREADY?!
Had he been pushed over the psychological edge just because the Third Hokage saw a brush up his ass?!
What was with that epic, righteous speech?!
Hiruzen was equally bewildered
Their plan was to lure Danzo to a remote, unpopulated area before provoking him to use the Reverse Four Symbols Seal.
To prevent him from destroying the prison, Hiruzen had deliberately adjusted his words to avoid provoking him!
Yet he never expected Danzo to provoke himself.
Danzo was literally exploding himself just to destroy the evidence!
He wanted to ensure the Hidden Leaf Village's historical records never documented the "Brush Incident."
(But the ironic issue, as Makoto had pointed out, is that the ninja world isn't that strict about history. Give it a few decades, and this exact scene would probably end up as a gag in a comedy manga).
"Let us depart together, Hiruzen! Perhaps in another world... I have already become Hokage."
After activating the Reverse Four Symbols Seal, Danzo revealed a relieved peaceful smile under the sunlight.
As his body relaxed for the final explosion, Sai's brush finally clattered out onto the ground.
Smeared with red blood and yellow... dye.
"Oh no! This is bad!" Hiruzen panicked.
This was still the prison sector and there were guards and inmates nearby.
That's why they needed to lure him away!
"Leave it to me, Lord Third!"
Kakashi, now the village's designated clean-up crew, made his entrance, lifting his forehead protector to reveal his Mangekyo Sharingan.
But this time, Kakashi hesitated for a crucial second.
Because a horrifying realization suddenly struck him: 'Why the fuck does every major use of my Kamui have to be associated with shit?'
First, he used it to suck up Deidara's exploding clay clone.
Then, he used it to warp away an explosive tag.
And now... he had to open a dimensional rift to suck up a man covered in his own shit.
'Is my legendary space-time dojutsu just a glorified garbage disposal?!'
Due to that one second of existential hesitation, black ink had already sprayed out and the Reverse Four Symbols Seal began rapidly expanding across the ground.
Kakashi gritted his teeth, forced his eye open to the max, and expanded the range of the portal.
"KAMUI!"
VWOOM.
Finally, Kakashi managed to twist space and transfer Danzo and the cursed paintbrush into the Kamui dimension at the very last microsecond.
Exhausted and thoroughly disgusted, Kakashi collapsed to his knees, panting heavily.
It must be said: given Kakashi's repeated, traumatic rescues of the village, it would be a war crime not to make him the Sixth Hokage after this!
"Yikes... there seems to be a problem," Kushina, who was watching from the tree branch, suddenly raised a finger with a highly awkward expression.