'An impostor?'
Right—the possibility of an impostor.
The moment Sakura thought of that, her mind went straight back to the Forest of Death during the Chunin Exams.
Hadn't Naruto been impersonated back then too?
And the easiest way to tell whether this Naruto was fake or not was simple: PUNCH HIM.
If it was just a Transformation Jutsu, it would break on the spot.
And if he really was Naruto?
Then with the nonsense he just said, wasn't he asking for a beating anyway?
With that thought, Sakura made up her mind.
She turned to Ino beside her and spoke in a soft voice, "Ino, help me out…"
She just took her hormone formula, and according to Orochimaru's medical notes, it was best to stay calm and cheerful afterward.
Getting angry too easily might reduce the effect.
Besides, she dealt with similar issues before.
Back when she used to get angry all the time, she even caused herself health problems and embarrassed herself by misunderstanding what was going on.
Thankfully, Tsunade handled it perfectly.
So fine. If someone needed to do the punching, Ino could do it!
"Huh? Is that really appropriate?" Ino asked, clearly not expecting Sakura to say that.
"More than appropriate." Sakura gave her a shove forward. "Just pretend Naruto is Shikamaru or Choji and hit him already. Go, Ino!"
"Uh… but I've never hit either of them," Ino said awkwardly.
It was true.
Ino had a bit of a violent streak too, like Sakura, but nowhere near as bad. Even in the original timeline, she only rarely got rough with Choji when he was being annoying.
And now, with the Ino–Shika–Cho team basically scattered, she hadn't even been around those two much lately.
If Ino ever wanted to hit someone, it was usually because that person genuinely deserved it.
When Sakura wanted to hit someone, it was often because Sakura herself had deeper emotional issues.
After all, anyone who knew her early on knew she once had a very obvious split-personality problem.
"I see…" Sakura thought for a moment, then changed tactics. "Ino, look at Naruto right now. He's wearing women's clothes, and he's always using that transformation trick to turn into a girl. Doesn't that mean that, deep down, maybe he really wants to be one?"
"I didn't—"
"Hmm?" Sakura shot Naruto a glare, and Naruto quickly swallowed the rest of his sentence.
"No, Sakura, are you seriously saying you want to share half your medicine with Naruto and help him actually become a girl?" Ino asked, eyes wide.
"Of course not," Sakura said quickly. "I mean Naruto's an orphan. Nobody ever taught him how to behave properly, so he's out of control. As classmates, we should educate him a little."
Sakura was clearly scraping together any excuse she could to justify letting Ino beat Naruto up.
After Sakura finished speaking, Naruto suddenly realized something.
'This is the illusion world. So why am I scared?'
Getting intimidated by a fake Sakura from the illusion world was way too embarrassing.
Especially if Sasuke, the guy who cast the genjutsu, was secretly watching all this!
Once that thought hit him—
"Hmph. If you won't scrub my back, then give me back the towel. I'll have Sasuke do it." Naruto strode forward, snatched the towel back, and formed a hand seal.
A shadow clone popped out and transformed into Sasuke.
Having Sasuke serve him would kill two birds with one stone.
First, it would annoy Sakura and help Naruto regain some dignity.
Second, it would annoy the real Sasuke too, if he happened to be watching from somewhere.
'I'm a genius,' Naruto thought smugly.
Throwing an arm around "Sasuke," he started walking toward the hot spring.
After only two steps, another thought hit him.
He made three more shadow clones and had them transform into Sakura, Ino, and his mother Kushina.
"You three," Naruto declared grandly, "go prepare fruit, drinks, and ramen for the great Uzumaki Naruto!"
"Yes, Great Lord Uzumaki Naruto." The three clones dropped into exaggerated bows like obedient servants.
Snap.
The thread Sakura had been trying so hard to hold together finally broke.
"Forget it," she said with a deep breath.
"I'll start staying cheerful tomorrow." She accepted the failure of Day one with calm despair.
"…Naruto went too damn far! We have to beat him until he pisses himself the moment he sees us," Ino said through gritted teeth.
She even began to feel that the new ninja world needed something beyond ninjutsu patent laws.
It needed portrait rights.
Otherwise, people like Naruto would keep abusing other people's appearances for humiliation!
Still, before proposing any such thing to Tsunade, Ino first needed to beat Naruto badly enough that he would never dare transform into her again.
At the same time, Kushina—who just caught up and entered from outside—saw the whole thing with a highly complicated expression.
She wanted to give Naruto a proper beating too.
Unfortunately, she arrived a little too late.
BOOM—!
Naruto just pushed aside the curtain and was about to enter the baths when Sakura raised her right arm, her muscles tensing, and smashed into him with a brutal, Lariat-like strike that sent him flying!
At once, all of Naruto's shadow clones disappeared from the recoil.
Outside, Naruto landed upside down in the dirt with his tongue lolling out and his eyes rolled back.
At the very least, Sakura still had some mercy—she didn't aim lower.
"Huh? Naruto?"
Killer B, who had been wandering around while rapping to himself, saw Naruto come flying out of the hot spring inn and curiously walked over.
Then he saw the two girls stomping out afterward.
He looked at them again and seemed to remember something.
"You two… aren't you the ones from the Cloud Village Chunin Exams?" Killer B recalled seeing them in a Kumogakure newspaper.
Two Konoha kunoichi apparently used a Lariat-like combo during the exams, and the coordination between them was impressive.
"You're the famous Konoha 'Sakurai duo,' right?"
The nickname came from how Kumogakure labeled the pair.
"Sakurai duo… why does that sound kind of lewd?" Sakura and Ino exchanged a glance.
Though still innocent girls at heart, they were medical ninja, so they knew perfectly well that plenty of words could sound super suggestive depending on context.
"Eight-Tails jinchuriki, watch your wording! They're still kids," Kushina said, stepping in before things got any worse.
She knew it!
Killer B really did give off a shady vibe.
She just didn't expect him to be this indiscriminate about it!
Wait. Was it not gender he cared about, but age?! That would be even worse!
"Uh, you've got the wrong idea. I only like milf…" Killer B said hurriedly, waving his hands in panic.
So not only did Killer B give Kushina the wrong impression about Naruto, not only did he somehow manage to make everything sound highly suspicious, now he even dragged her into the misunderstanding!
Kushina felt this man was far too dangerous.
Why hadn't Minato just used Flying Thunder God and cut him down back then?!
"Yeah," Naruto said, climbing to his feet and rubbing his sore neck. "Bee-ossan's into older women, but an older woman he raise from childhood."
That didn't help at all.
----
Chiyo will get a reverse harem soon.