Finnleyfinds me outside the gates. Hood up. Hands buried in sleeves.
"Oi! Thought you'd be inside celebrating… saw your grades… solid pass, just like me, obviously. Top of the bloody class, mate. Naturally. Honestly, you're lucky I'm around to keep the average up, huh?"
I flinch at celebrating. Egg slides down my neck in memory. Shoulders seize. Fingers dig at my thigh under the fabric. Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.
Imperial, MIT, Tokyo spill out of him—future plans rattling loose. Words slam against my consciousness.
A girl in a red scarf walks past. Ponytail flicking. Vanilla and yolk ghost across my nose. Stomach caves in.
Another nudge.
"So," he nudges again, "you decide where you're applying? Oxford? MIT? That Japanese one you can't even pronounce?"
"I… don't know yet." Voice cracks. Hand twitches.
He raises a brow. "Dude. You've been drooling over those brochures for months. Game design. Anime studios. You've got plans. Big plans."
I open my mouth. Close it. The words come out smaller than I mean them to. "…Do any of those places have… a lot of girls?"
Finnley stops walking. Stares. "What the fuck kind of question is that?"
Mid-stride he stops. A thin laugh leaks through his teeth.
"Wait. That's what this is about? You're finally noticing girls?"
My head shakes too fast. Neck heats. His laugh gets louder anyway.
"Relax, mate. Uni's crawling with them. You'll survive."
Another girl passes—earbuds, ponytail, laughing into her phone. She doesn't look at me.
I jolt back half a step, like Avery's suddenly there with a cracked egg. Finnley stays oblivious, still mapping out our future games.
Nods come when they're supposed to. Shoulders stay up around my ears. Fingers still digging. Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.
He thinks I'm shy about liking girls.
He has no idea I'm terrified of what girls can do to me now.
"…I just… don't want to deal with them."
His grin turns smug, unbearable.
"Bro, you need what I've got. Long-distance. Sends nudes. Calls me 'daddy.' Zero hassle."
He's already yanking his phone out, thumbs greasy on the cracked screen.
"Look at this one, mate. Sent it last night. Told her I aced everything and she literally wrote my name on her..."
I cut him off.
"Please. Stop."
And for the first time, I really look at him.
The greasy fringe hanging in his eyes.
The hoodie with the faded anime print, sleeves chewed at the cuffs.
The same scuffed trainers he's worn since Year Ten, soles flapping like loose tongues.
The faint acne scars he never grew out of.
The way he stands, shoulders hunched, like he's permanently expecting a punchline.
I see it all in one cold second.
If he just cut his hair, washed his face, wore clothes that weren't falling apart… he could almost pass for adequate.
Almost.
But he doesn't.
He never will.
And something inside me twists, sharp and ugly.
I don't want to end up like that.
I don't want to be the boy girls laugh at from three thousand miles away.
I don't want to be safe because I'm invisible.
I want—I don't know what I want yet.
But it isn't to be this.
Still with that mouth-hook of his. Still scrolling. Thumb dragging across glass like he's filing it down.
Hood sinks lower over my eyes. Fingers at my sleeve—scratch, scratch—like they're trying to dig a way out.
My bag coughs up the neat stack of Avery's homework.
"Here." I shove it at him. "Give this to Avery Sloane. Tell her… tell her I finished it."
An eyebrow lifts. Papers held away from his body like they might stain.
"Avery? As in the Avery Sloane?"
The pages get a squint, then I get one.
"Mate… you're doing her homework now?"
My shoes suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world.
"She and her two friends are the prettiest girls on campus…"
A grin spreads across his voice.
"Wait… so that's why you've been quiet. You like Avery?"
A snort.
"Mate… you've got no chance. Just look at you. She wouldn't even look twice at you."
My lips open.
The words aren't the ones I want.
I shut them.
Laughter detonates beside my ear. A fist clips my arm—testing, sampling, checking what kind of meat I am.
Pages flutter. One-two-three. A money count. A body count. Something valuable leaving me.
Then the whole stack disappears into his filthy bag.
"Relax. I'll give them to the ice queen."
And just like that—
out of my hands,
out of my control,
now alive in someone else's world.
My stomach flips. Harder than when Avery first shoved them at me.
Feels wrong.
Feels like I handed him something I should've kept under skin.
Finnley's already back on his phone, barely aware of the surgery he just performed.
"Oh, and tomorrow night… don't forget. Revenant Crown finale. Eight sharp. Live watch party in my dorm. Everyone's coming. You've waited three years to find out who the Shadow Empress is. Don't flake."
I nod. Once.
Tonight feels a lifetime away.
I stand there long after he's gone, staring at the empty space where the homework used to be.
It's out there now. In the world.
And there's nothing I can do to take it back.
Hood lower.
Fingers scratching. Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.