POV NABI
The silence in my room was not peaceful, but defeatist. A black leather suitcase rested on the gray silk bedspread, open like a wound waiting to be stitched up. My hands, still trembling from my encounter with Jaehyun on the balcony, moved mechanically. I folded shirts, put away shoes, but my eyes kept wandering to the small hidden compartment at the bottom of the suitcase.
There it was. My "need for truth." A blue velvet bag that weighed more than the rest of my existence. Inside was the official diagnosis signed by Dr. Kang: Bipolar II Disorder. Along with the papers were the bottles of lithium and quetiapine, my chemical guardians against the monsters that inhabited my mind. That bag was my sentence and my shield. If my father found it, he would destroy me; if Jaehyun discovered it, I feared he would look at me with the same pity one looks at a wounded animal.
A sob escaped me, breaking the silence in the room. I fell to my knees in front of the suitcase, hiding my face in my hands. Tomorrow I would move to the Moon residence. Tomorrow I would cease to be the invisible daughter of the Kwons and become the Moon family's spare trophy.
"Nabi... please don't cry anymore."
The voice was young and laden with an anguish I knew well. I turned to see Raewon leaning against the doorframe. His rehearsal clothes were wrinkled, and his eyes, usually sparkling with rebellion, were red. Behind him, the imposing figure of Daejung, my older brother, closed the door carefully, as if he wanted to shut out the rest of the rotten world we lived in.
Raewon ran to me and threw himself onto the carpet, wrapping his arms around me. Although he was only sixteen, at that moment it felt as if he was the one trying to protect me from the abyss.
"I don't want you to go," Raewon whispered against my shoulder. "That guy, Jaehyun... he was going to be Suyeon's husband. It's not right, Nabi. Dad is crazy if he thinks this is normal."
"I have no choice, Raewon," I said between sobs, clinging to his jacket. "You know what he said. If I don't do it, he'll send me to the hospital. I can't go back to that white place... I can't."
Daejung slowly approached and sat down on the other side, placing a hand on my back. His touch was firm, the only pillar keeping the three of us standing.
As the eldest son, he was the one who took most of my father's psychological blows to protect us, but this time, the sacrifice fell to me. "Forgive me, Nabi," Daejung said hoarsely. "I tried to talk to him. I told him you need stability, that the stress of marriage and the pressure from the press after what happened with Suyeon will hurt you."
But he... he only sees numbers. He only sees the merger with Moon Real Estate.
"He hates me, Daejung," I looked my older brother in the eyes. "He hates me because I'm like Mom. Because I have the same thing she had. He thinks bipolar disorder is a choice, that it's 'being crazy' because of a lack of character."
Daejung sighed and brushed a strand of hair from my face.
"You're not crazy. You're the strongest person I know. You write those incredible stories, you survive every crisis, and you're still here. Nabi, listen carefully: Jaehyun Moon is a complicated man, but he's not a monster like our father. If you ever feel bad, if you feel the darkness coming back... call me. No matter what time it is. I'll come get you and burn that house down if I have to.
Raewon moved away a little and looked at me with determination.
"I'll go too. When I debut as an idol and have my own money, I'll get you out of there. I'll buy you a house far away from all of them, where you can write all day without hiding.
I smiled sadly, wiping away my tears. My siblings were my only allies in this nest of vipers.
"Did you pack your things, Nabi?" Daejung asked, pointing to the blue bag sticking out of the suitcase.
I nodded, quickly closing the compartment.
"They're here. My pills, the diagnosis... everything. It's the only real thing I have left."
"And your notebooks," Raewon added, trying to cheer me up. "Did you bring Hayami's drafts? Jaehyun's sister, Yuseo, is a fan of your books, you know? I always see her with her Kindle at family gatherings."
If she knew her sister-in-law was the famous Hayami, she'd die of excitement.
"Don't even think about telling her, Raewon," I warned, feeling a chill. "No one can know. My father would burn my notebooks if he knew I was 'wasting my time' on art instead of studying the company's balance sheets."
Daejung stood up and helped me to my feet. His gaze turned somber when he noticed my legs, hidden behind my skirt, but where he knew I sought relief through physical pain when the mental pain became too much.
"Promise me you won't hurt yourself there," Daejung said with a seriousness that pierced my bones. "Jaehyun is no fool.
If he sees marks, he'll ask questions."
"I'll try," I lied half-heartedly. The desire to cut through the internal pressure was like an addiction that called to me on sleepless nights.
"Nabi," Daejung lowered his voice, "be careful with Mrs. Shin and Chaerin. I heard Chaerin talking to a guy on the phone... someone who doesn't seem to be from our world. She's furious that you got the engagement and not her. Don't trust anything in this house until you leave tomorrow.
"She wants power," I whispered. "She always wanted to be the main heir."
"Exactly. And Suyeon was her obstacle. Now that Suyeon is gone, you're the new target."
We were silent for a moment, a hug between three siblings who knew that tomorrow would be a battlefield. I felt so small between them, so fragile. As Daejung and Raewon helped me finish packing my suitcase, I felt like I was closing the book on my youth.
At the end of the night, when they left and I was alone, I took out my phone. I opened the writing app and saw the thousands of comments on my latest post as Hayami. One in particular caught my attention. The user was Ami_Studio20: "Your stories make me feel like I'm not alone in my dark room. Thank you for understanding the pain."
That was Yuseo, Jaehyun's sister. I didn't know her, but in the digital world, our souls had already touched. Ironically, I was going to live in the house of my most loyal reader while my future husband thought I was just a replacement for someone who had died.
I closed my eyes, hugging the suitcase that contained my pills and my fears. Tomorrow, the Kwons' "defective daughter" would enter the Moons' lair. I just hoped that, between the forced finances and the imposed marriage, my mind wouldn't end up completely broken.
Outside, the rain began to hit the windows, a dull echo of the tears I no longer wanted to shed. I was ready. Or at least, that's what I told myself as I pressed the blue bag against my chest one last time before turning off the light.