After shaking off the last of those scumbags, Axel sighed and pulled off his left shoe.
He walked a few steps across the rooftop barefoot, the cold surface pressing against his foot. Then he lifted that same foot and waved it lazily toward Natasha.
"Honestly, I really didn't want to throw hands today. You get that, right, Buddy?"
"Uh..."
Facing Axel's question, Natasha Romanoff swallowed and nodded with clear effort.
"If my clothes exploded every time I got into a fight, I'd be filing paperwork for a desk job too."
The moment her words ended, thunder slammed down where Thor had fallen.
A violent bolt struck the rooftop and lightning exploded outward. Thor rose from the center of it, wrapped in crackling thunder and thick storm clouds. His eyes burned with fury as he charged straight at Axel.
Seeing the enraged god rushing forward again, Axel shook his head.
"Guy's a damn savage."
As he spoke, Axel casually slipped off his coat and tossed it toward Natasha.
Natasha raised Loki's Scepter and caught the coat without taking her eyes off the battlefield.
At that exact moment, Mjolnir shot forward ahead of Thor, spinning like a buzz saw.
The hammer roared toward Axel.
Axel stepped forward and threw a brutal right punch.
His knuckles smashed directly into the ancient runes carved into Mjolnir.
Crack!
A sharp sound echoed across the rooftop.
Axel's fist fractured instantly. The violent force shredded his entire right sleeve and tore through the shirt around his shoulder. His arm was nearly ripped apart by the impact.
A heartbeat later, Thor slammed into him.
Thor grabbed Axel's shoulders and drove forward with monstrous strength, his boots grinding against the rooftop as he tried to force Axel backward.
Axel grabbed Thor's shoulders as well, muscles tightening like steel cables.
The rooftop beneath them shattered instantly.
Concrete split. Steel bars screamed. The floor buckled as the two monsters struggled against each other.
Snap!
Chunks of rooftop tore free again and again. Natasha had to step backward several times just to avoid getting caught in the destruction.
For the first time, Axel's muscles fully flexed.
Every fiber in his body tightened.
In less than a second his shirt exploded into strips of fabric.
And it wasn't just the shirt.
When Axel planted his stance and tried to stabilize himself, his belt began to groan under the strain.
"Holy crap!"
Axel cursed loudly.
The belt snapped.
His pants tore open immediately afterward, ripped apart by the tension in his thighs.
As Axel's clothes gave up their final fight, Thor seized the chance and shoved him several steps backward.
Axel tried desperately to protect the last remaining piece of dignity he had left.
Then it happened.
Thud!
Axel's lower body smashed straight through the rooftop floor of Stark Tower. His legs sank into the concrete and rebar up to his waist.
The twisted metal and jagged concrete destroyed the last piece of clothing he had.
His underwear didn't survive.
"Motherfucker!!!"
Axel roared in pure rage.
He suddenly pulled back part of his strength.
The sudden movement forced Thor forward a step, but Axel's own shoulder dislocated violently from the pressure.
Ignoring the pain, Axel ripped himself free from the floor.
Then he swung his foot upward and kicked Thor square in the face.
Thor staggered backward in a daze.
A second later, Axel followed through with another brutal kick that launched the god across the rooftop.
Thor flew through the air and smashed through two nearby buildings before crashing into an office tower.
Boom!
Debris exploded everywhere.
Thor climbed out of the ruined office, furious. Employees inside the building screamed and scattered in panic.
Thor looked toward Stark Tower and shouted.
"Do you not own proper armor, you fool?!"
Axel's voice shouted back from the rooftop.
"I've got your grandpa, Buddy! If I had armor, why the hell would I be trying to steal Stark's?!"
A moment later Axel walked over to Natasha with a shameless grin.
Natasha stared at him, stunned.
Axel stretched out his hand casually.
"So... mind lending me your pants?"
"What?"
Natasha frowned so hard it was almost painful to watch.
Her expression clearly screamed embarrassment as she stared at Axel like he had just asked for nuclear codes.
Axel grinned.
Then flames erupted around him and he vanished instantly.
Natasha finally released the breath she had been holding.
At the same moment, Tony Stark burst out from the damaged building wearing another Mark VI suit.
"Where's Axel? Damn it, did he run off again?"
While shouting, Stark fired his shoulder cannon at the partially closing portal above the city.
The blast wiped out several trapped Chitauri soldiers.
Just then flames appeared again beside Natasha.
Right next to Stark.
Axel stepped out of the fire while pulling on a pair of sweatpants.
He looked up and grinned.
"Yo. You changed outfits too?"
"You?!"
Stark immediately shot upward into the air and pointed his repulsor at Axel.
While charging the weapon, Stark spoke stubbornly.
"You should probably finish getting dressed first, Buddy. I don't bully someone who hasn't even put his pants on properly."
Axel tightened the drawstring on his sweatpants and looked up.
"Oh yeah? Did you get dressed, or are you piloting that suit shirtless?"
Axel bounced lightly on his feet.
He looked thoughtful for a moment.
"Wait. I didn't guess right, did I? You're seriously flying around shirtless in there? Damn, your armor must be comfortable if it doesn't pinch your junk."
"I'm wearing a shirt! A shirt I just changed into!"
Stark shouted in frustration.
Then he fired the repulsor beam.
The blast slammed directly into Axel.
Axel curled his lip.
He didn't even move.
The beam crashed against his chest muscles and dispersed like water hitting a wall.
Just as Axel was about to say something else...
Boom!
A massive green figure suddenly burst upward through the floor beneath him.
Axel stepped to the side instantly, dodging the incoming projectile.
He watched Loki smash through several ceilings before Hulk slammed him violently into the ground.
"So weak."
Hulk snorted.
Then he lifted his head and looked straight at Axel.
At this point Hulk was rage itself. He didn't need a reason to fight. Seeing Axel standing there was already enough.
In less than a second Hulk burst through another ceiling and lunged toward Axel.
At the same time Thor streaked through the sky and landed nearby, gripping Mjolnir.
Iron Man hovered above them with a serious expression, aiming his laser emitter at Axel.
The repulsor beams had done absolutely nothing.
The laser was the Mark VI armor's strongest weapon.
Even so, Stark knew the truth.
At best it might leave burn marks.
Axel's body was stronger than most metals on Earth.
Standing on the ruined rooftop, Axel spread his arms.
He wore nothing but loose white sweatpants. His upper body was completely bare.
Looking at the three enemies surrounding him from air, ground, and below, Axel chuckled.
"So what's the plan? One at a time, or all together?"
He suddenly paused.
"Hold on."
Axel turned his head and looked into the distance.
Loki had recovered enough strength to crawl across the floor.
He was reaching toward the Tesseract that Axel had dropped earlier.
Following Axel's gaze, Thor, Stark, and Hulk all turned to look.
Stark watched Loki crawling and muttered.
"Your brother crawls pretty well. Is that an Asgardian training program?"
"I told you already. He's adopted!"
Thor snapped back as he walked toward Loki.
"Loki!"
Thor grabbed him and pulled him up.
"Stop this madness! Even if you conquer Earth with the Chitauri army, you will not gain a kingdom. You will only create another world for them to exploit!
A true king does not depend on outsiders for his throne. You will return with me to Asgard and answer for your crimes!"
Thor pulled out restraints from beneath his cape.
Before Loki could argue, Thor locked the cuffs on him and secured a muzzle over his mouth.
Even while being restrained, Loki's eyes stayed fixed on the Tesseract only twenty meters away.
Stark watched the scene and clicked his tongue.
"You're really rushing this, huh? Afraid we'll execute him?"
Stark drifted slowly toward the Tesseract.
"Honestly you're worrying for nothing. With Asgard behind him, the politicians in Washington would never dare kill Loki.
Even if this bastard's aliens destroyed half of New York and killed hundreds of thousands of people, he'd still walk free.
Politics already sucks. Interstellar politics is even worse."
While talking, Stark casually moved closer.
Then suddenly his armor flared to maximum power.
In a flash he grabbed the Tesseract.
Stark looked toward Axel cautiously.
Then he looked down at the glowing cube in his hand.
He raised it slightly and smirked.
"I thought this thing mattered a lot to you. Or are you not coming after it because you can't fly?"
Axel blinked.
"Snatch it? Why the hell would I snatch it?"
He casually raised his right hand.
Another Tesseract sat in his palm.
Stark froze.
Slowly, he looked back down at his own hand.
The cube in his palm vanished.
All that remained was a small ball of flame and a delayed alarm screaming inside his armor.
===
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