Chapter 17
Alric looked down at the dead Orc below him. The firelight cast the gore in flickering shadows.
Wait…firelight means…fire!
Alric looked up to see that the forest around him was slowly going up in a blaze. The rich pine sap smelling rather nice as it sizzled away. Alric was only surprised for a moment.
"It would seem Gandalf decided to do his crafty fire pinecones even without the Main Boss."
Alric reached down and grabbed the newest snack in his journey. The Pale orc was rather underwhelming from a flavor standpoint. Slightly chewy. After a quick thought he set some of it against some flames. Maybe it would taste better cooked. The smell of the hot pine sap was strong and very nice. It had strong resinous notes with a hint of vanilla. Alric tried to shove as much of the Warg into his mouth as quick as possible.
He didn't want to leave it behind. Eating while he could he tried to be quick so he could go stop the pyromaniacs. As he wolfed down the wolf…he paused. That scent of pine sap…it was manly, a strong scent. With a happy grin Alric reached out and scooped up as much gooey sap as he could find nearby. As with nearly everything Alric had found recently, he ate it.
Forget adventure, I'm eating my way through Middle Earth. This sap can fix my body odor issue.
Alric heard a swell in barking and screams coming from the direction with more flames. With a heavy sigh Alric slurped up the last bit of amber sap he found before grabbing his now roasted foe. Holding the food to-go the troll set out once more. Long heavy strides quickly brought him to a cliff. A lone tree stood at the edge of the cliff. Inside the tree like hellish Christmas tree ornaments were his fire happy companions. The dramatic scene was complete with naughty Wargs trying to get their presents early.
Alric prepared himself. This was a golden opportunity for a dramatic entrance. How should he do it. Raging in like a storm out of nowhere had a shock and awe vibe but felt kind of underwhelming. Alric looked down at the legless armless thing in his hands. The face of the Orc was only partially identifiable with the large, smashed section of the head, but it was enough to quickly see the roasted hunk was once the Pale Orc. Alric quickly schooled his face into a casual and lazy smirk. Alric walked through the flames onto his flaming stage.
Through the smoke and fire, he strode without fear. The Wargs stared in stunned silence as they one by one turned from their frantic efforts to tear down the tree. Alric stood mere feet from the pack, radiating an undaunted aura as he slowly brought the corpse of their leader to his mouth like a cheap snack. He slowly swallowed the last of Azog.
"We going to fight or not?"
"…"
"…"
The dwarves all looked at him like he was crazy, unsure of the random provocations' meaning. Bilbo just sighed in exasperated relief. The Wargs all tilted their heads to the side in unison. The killing machines sharing the same quirks as the far more domesticated dogs when showing confusion, the next response quickly showed the difference. The pack surged to the more reachable target. The air was swirling with cinders as they charged.
Alric had quickly gained some basic experience and what could very, very, generously be considered technique. His movements were more confident and efficient as he broke into a flurry of less overextended strikes. The blows didn't shatter them int bloody pulp as he could. The hits were still devastating, their snapping heads swerving aside as their momentum was violently redirected.
Alric rapidly deployed his venom spikes for shallow body shots and retracted them for blasting the snapping jaws aside in a rather violent offensive defense. The outcome was slower in direct explosive damage. Bones still broke here and there but not with the same shattering force. The true damage was being done by the venom. This method let Alric remain untouched by his attackers even without killing them off as fast.
The Wargs might come for a second attack, but the paralytic was doing work quickly. The Wargs stumbled and fell. Some died from a combination of the holes punched in them, the still considerable blunt force trauma, and the poison seizing up their lungs. Soon the whole pack was laid out dead and dying. Alric didn't forget to double tap the suffering beasts. Quick mercy kills completed he turned to the party climbing down from the tree.
"I like my meat roasted as much as the next Troll…but this seems a tad excessive."
"We had to resort to such measures in your absence." Kili snapped defensively.
"I don't love how you make that sound like it was somehow my fault…but you all might be in a bit of a better mood knowing I killed Azog. Your little family feud is officially over."
"What!?" Several Dwarves clamored.
Alric was confused, even if they hadn't recognized him eating the orc when he showed up, Alric being the only one to come back from the fight was rather telling. Did they think Alric lost?
"You managed to put him down?" Thorin managed to make himself heard.
"Yes."
"He didn't flee or trick you somehow. You are sure he is dead? Do you still have his head?"
"Unless he can reconstitute his sunless hide after I pass his digested ass…yes I'm sure he is very dead. As for his head…same story."
"ha,ha…ha" Gandalf began to laugh as the dwarves stood there in shock.
"Yes, a rather fitting end for such a foul being. Eaten by a Troll…what a way to go."
Thorin seemed to collect himself as he gave Alric's knee a grateful slap (surprising no one he can't reach his shoulder).
"Thank you. You have done me and mine a great service. I am truly grateful. You as well Bilbo, you stood beside me and fought. I have never been so wrong…as in my judgment of you two. I am happy to fight besides you."
Rounds of "Aye." came from the dwarves.
"Your welcome. Now, I'm going to go eat all that tasty looking Warg…I assume this small forest fire is something you all can handle?"
The distracted dwarves were reminded of the rather inconvenient mess. Alric felt no need to help the dwarves. They started it they could finish it. He was going to eat his kills. So, he did just that.
In a surprising show of magical force Gandalf smothered the flames. He raised his staff high, an inconspicuous ring on his hand, and slammed it down the flames retreating into themselves in short order. The forest remained charred and smoking but no longer a spreading disaster.
"You have a truly legendary appetite, Alric. But make haste…Our ride will soon arrive."
"Our…ride?"
"Yes, I contacted some rather interesting friends."
Alric was pretty sure Gandalf's cryptic words meant he had still contacted the Eagles. This made no sense to Alric. For one, The group was no longer on the loosing side in need of escape, and for a second issue, Alric was far too large to ride atop an Eagle. Even the magical giant Eagles in the films would struggle under a being like Alric.
Alric considered asking Gandalf what in the world he was thinking but decided to eat more instead. He didn't want to explain why he knew that Gandalf had summoned Eagles. If the twinkle in the old mans eyes were any indication he wouldn't like the answer.
An hour later, as Alric pondered his current predicament, he was now sure he hated the answer. Alric was dangling over open air. You might wonder how he was riding an albeit massive Eagle. The answer…he was not riding them. Even in his shrunken form he was rather inconvenient to host on the birds back. Luckily the birds were quite used to lifting Trolls in their talons. Trolls were a staple prey item for them in fact. Something Gandalf had found great amusement in explaining. Two of the apparently natural predators of his kind, were holding one of his hands in each of their massive talons tight grip. As he looked like a massive toddler swinging between his two feathery parents Alric continued to glare as fiercely at the blurred form of Gandalf as he could. Unfortunately, with his eyes slightly watering as the wind blasted into his eyes, he doubted how effective the glare was.
"Oh, I'm sure this is hilarious for you, old man."
Despite Alric's less than pleasant mood he could at least appreciate the fact that they were making excellent time zooming through the sky.
I just wished the only thing keeping me from falling to a rather harsh reunion with the ground weren't two large, hungry looking natural predators. Besides, this does not look cool. They all get to look freaking awesome riding the massive avians.