The Academy hallway smelled of teenage sweat and fear. The tail ends of the class were huddled in corners, whispering nervously about failing, their faces pale.
I walked down the center of the corridor, my hands in my pockets, radiating an aura of absolute, unbothered nonchalance.
The effect was immediate.
"He's here," a girl whispered, her voice trembling.
"The Pervert," another hissed, pulling her friend back.
Like the Red Sea parting for Moses, the crowd of students split. The girls pressed themselves against the lockers, clutching their chests and tightening their skirts, terrified that a sudden gust of wind—or a rogue chakra pulse—would expose them to my gaze.
I ignored them. Or rather, I pretended to. Behind my bangs, my eyes were working overtime.
[Passive Skill: Anatomy Scan - Active]
My eyes flickered over the female population, analyzing the data like a biological terminator.
Sakura Haruno: Growth spurt detected. Still flat as a board, but the hip-to-waist ratio is improving. Rating: Wait and See. Potential: B-Rank.
Ino Yamanaka: Impressive development. The Yamanaka genes are doing the heavy lifting. That skirt is technically three inches above regulation length, and I heartily approve. Rating: Solid. Potential: A-Rank.
I smirked. Konoha's future was bright indeed.
I slid into the classroom. Naruto was already there, vibrating with nervous energy. His orange jumpsuit was loud, but his chakra was louder—a chaotic, swirling storm that gave me a headache if I focused too hard.
"Kenji!" Naruto shouted, waving frantically. "Today's the day! I'm gonna get that headband and then... then I'll be a ninja! Believe it!"
"Calm down, Naruto," I said, leaning back in my chair and putting my feet up on the desk. "You're going to hyperventilate before Iruka even calls your name. Save that energy for the celebration."
I glanced to my other side. Hinata Hyuga sat there, looking like she wanted to merge with her desk molecules.
"G-Good morning... K-Kenji-kun," she squeaked, refusing to make eye contact, her face turning a deep shade of crimson.
I looked at her.
[Target: Hinata Hyuga] [Measurements: ...Error. Obstruction Detected.]
A challenge, I thought. The Hyuga jacket. That puffy, cream-colored monstrosity was the enemy of mankind. It concealed everything.
Morning, Hinata, I said smoothly aloud.
My eyes dropped to her jacket. I knew the truth. I remembered the Boruto timeline from my past life. Beneath that shy exterior and heavy wool was a pair of "Twin Lion Fists" that would one day rival Tsunade's. She was a sleeping dragon of voluptuousness.
But I pulled my gaze away quickly.
No, Kenji. Control yourself, I scolded internally. Bro Code Article 1: You do not leer at your Disciple's future wife.
She was the "First Lady" of my faction. I had to respect that. Even a scumbag has standards.
****
The Exam Room
The door opened, and a weeping student walked out without a headband. The tension in the room spiked.
"Next! Kenji Sato!"
Iruka's voice broke my daydream. I stood up, stretching my arms above my head until my back cracked, and walked into the testing room with a lazy stride.
The room was sparse. Just a table with shiny forehead protectors laid out in rows. Iruka sat with a clipboard, looking tired and stressed. Mizuki sat next to him, wearing that fake, benevolent smile that made me want to punch him in the throat.
"Alright, Kenji," Iruka said, adjusting his papers. "You know the drill. Create at least three clones to pass. The Bunshin no Jutsu."
I stood in the center of the room.
Three clones? Just three?
I could create fifty Shadow Clones right now, have them seduce the entire faculty, and take over the school before lunch. But a Hidden Jonin doesn't show his hand. A Hidden Jonin does the bare minimum to pass, while maximizing the chaos.
But... I couldn't be boring.
"Bunshin no Jutsu," I muttered lazily, forming the seal with one hand.
POOF. POOF. POOF.
Three clouds of white smoke erupted.
When they cleared, three Kenjis stood next to me. They were solid, perfectly formed illusions.
But they weren't just standing there.
Clone 1 was knuckle-deep in his nose, digging for gold with intense concentration. Clone 2 was leaning against the table, winking at Mizuki and making a "call me" hand gesture with a seductive pout. Clone 3 had his back turned to Iruka, bent over at the waist, and was aggressively wiggling his butt in the instructor's direction.
Iruka's vein popped. He snapped his pencil in half. "KENJI! What is this?!"
"It's a Clone Jutsu, Sensei," I said innocently, shrugging. "You said create clones. You didn't say they had to be respectful. My chakra is just naturally... expressive."
Mizuki chuckled, though his eyes remained cold and calculating. "Well, Iruka, you have to admit... they are solid illusions. The chakra distribution is perfect. He passes."
Iruka sighed, rubbing his temples as if fighting a migraine. "Fine. You pass. Take a headband. And tell your clone to stop winking at Mizuki, it's disturbing."
"Yes, Sensei."
I dispelled the clones. Poof.
I walked up and grabbed a black forehead protector. It felt cool and heavy in my hand. The metal plate caught the light.
[DING!]
[System Notification: Main Quest Update]
[Quest: The Tutorial Ends]
[Objective: Become a Genin.]
[Status: COMPLETE.]
[Rewards:]
500 Shameless Points.
Title: "Official Ninja" (Charisma +10 with civilians).
Item: [Gold Gacha Token (Guaranteed Rare+)]
Description: A shiny golden token that guarantees a non-trash item. Use it wisely.
Gold Token, I thought, suppressing a grin. Finally. A real power-up.
I tied the headband around my arm, flashed a peace sign at the fuming Iruka, and walked out.
****
I leaned against the wall outside, waiting for Naruto.
The door opened again.
"Sasuke Uchiha!"
Sasuke walked in. A few minutes later, he walked out. He didn't look happy. He didn't look relieved. He looked bored.
He had his headband tied around his forehead. He had probably created three perfect clones, stared Iruka down, and walked out without saying a word.
"Congrats, Sasuke," I called out lazily.
Sasuke glanced at me. His eyes were cold, void of any childhood warmth. "Hn."
He walked past me, ignoring the squealing girls waiting for him. The Uchiha Massacre had killed the boy; only the Avenger remained.
Tragic, I thought. But hey, nice hair.
The hallway was filled with parents. Pride, laughter, flashing cameras.
I walked through the crowd, feeling the familiar tug of loneliness. No parents waiting for me. Just my System and my box of panties.
Whatever.
I walked outside to the courtyard.
And there he was.
Naruto sat on the swing set. The same swing set where I had recruited him years ago. He wasn't wearing a headband. His goggles sat sadly on his forehead. The joy from the morning had evaporated, leaving a hollow shell.
The villagers whispered as they passed. "Serves him right." "Imagine if that became a ninja." "Good riddance."
I leaned against the tree, watching.
My heart ached for him. Just a little. But my brain knew what was coming.
He failed. Good. If he passed, he wouldn't steal the Scroll. If he didn't steal the Scroll, he wouldn't learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu. And if he didn't learn that, he dies in the first arc.
Suffering builds character, Naruto.
Then, I saw him.
Mizuki appeared from the crowd. He walked over to Naruto, placing a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder. He whispered something. Naruto looked up, hope returning to his eyes.
The Snake was making his move.
[Mission Alert!] [Plot Event Detected: The Forbidden Scroll Incident] [Difficulty: B-Rank] [Objective 1: Ensure Naruto learns the Shadow Clone Jutsu.] [Objective 2: "Secure" the Forbidden Scroll for... personal scanning (Optional).] [Reward: Copy of One S-Rank Jutsu from the Scroll.]
My eyes widened.
Copy a Jutsu from the Scroll of Seals?
The Scroll of Seals contained the Second Hokage's forbidden arts. Flying Raijin. Edo Tensei. Shadow Clones.
If I could scan that scroll with my System...
"Jackpot," I whispered.