VALORIA WILDEROSE
I don't know how long I am in this darkness, fading in and out of consciousness, but I suspect it's been hours.
The maids patch me up before locking me in the darkroom that has been an active part of my childhood, hoping I don't bleed out while I'm in here.
I still haven't figured out if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
On one hand, I want to die. I want to fade out of existence into nothing, because nothing is better than this endless pain.
Nothing doesn't hurt; I wouldn't even have a consciousness to feel anything.
On the other hand, I want to live long enough to experience freedom. True, hopeful freedom that I've always wanted.
But I am cursed, just like Father said — unable to attain either. I will continue to suffer in life and in death, eternal damnation for the sin of being born with no one to mourn me.
No one except Calliope, Elodie, and Yara. I've had a couple of conversations with them over the phone.
