Hiratsuka asked, her eyes glittering with unbridled curiosity.
"I've been meaning to ask for a while now—what is the deal with that 'Chuunibyou Mode' of yours?"
"Why does your entire aura shift the second you touch that battered old card?"
The "battered card" she was referring to was, of course, Stardust Dragon. Ryunosuke exhaled a long, weary sigh of resignation.
"It's Stardust Dragon, not a 'battered card'... Sensei, have you seriously never watched Yu-Gi-Oh!?"
Hiratsuka crossed her arms over her chest.
"I usually stick to the big three Tokusatsu franchises and seasonal anime, but Yu-Gi-Oh!? Never touched it. It's too much of a brain drain."
She ruffled her hair in sheer frustration.
"The first and third generations were fine, but it just got more convoluted as it went on. Xyz, Pendulum... I don't even understand how Link effects work. It's a mess, so I just dropped the whole thing."
Hiratsuka argued that the modern rules were so complex they felt like they weren't even designed for humans. Just look at those bizarre Link effects; reading the card text alone takes an eternity.
Ryunosuke nodded in understanding. Honestly, there probably wasn't a human alive who could memorize the modern rulebook in its entirety. It truly wasn't meant for casual consumption.
Only mobile games that automated the simple effects were still playable, though even then, the experience was miserable—usually ending in a "One-Turn Kill." And don't even get started on the pay-to-win system. If you aren't dropping cash, you won't survive three turns against the "whales."
In short, the game had moved past strategy and turned into a battle of wallets. If your bank account was deep enough, you could hand-pick a deck of god-tier effects. Without money, you'd struggle to complete a single functional archetype. That was the reality of the Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG in Ryunosuke's previous life: a game that was, frankly, no longer worth playing.
Ryunosuke spread his arms, explaining the mechanics of his Chuunibyou Mode to Hiratsuka. She stared at him as if he were a biological anomaly.
"Just what kind of body chemistry do you have?"
Suddenly, Hiratsuka's eyes lit up. "Hey, kid... does that mean if you hold anything, you transform into a corresponding character?"
Ryunosuke shot her a dry, cynical look. "What, you think I'm Stephen Chow in Sixty Million Dollar Weapon? Like I can just turn into a toaster if I feel like it?"
Hiratsuka didn't care. Her inner child had been awakened, and she was in full experimental mode! From behind her back, she suddenly produced a Spark Lens—the transformation device for Ultraman Tiga—and acted like she wanted to shake Ryunosuke's hand.
"Here~ let's shake on it."
Ryunosuke's head filled with metaphorical question marks.
"What on earth are you—?" Before he could finish, Hiratsuka forcibly shoved the Spark Lens into his palm.
Ryunosuke's frame shuddered as he instantly slipped into character. Out of nowhere, he was suddenly sporting a GUTS team uniform and leveling a Hyper Gun directly at Hiratsuka's forehead.
"Oppressing the weak just because you can... what kind of teacher are you?!"
Startled by the sudden lecture, Hiratsuka reflexively stammered, "I-I'm sorry, a teacher should never treat a student like—wait a minute! You brat! You dare preach to me?!"
She began rolling up her sleeves, ready to deliver a physical correction, but Ryunosuke met her gaze with a hauntingly serious expression.
"What is justice?"
"Is your 'justice' merely bullying students with physical force?"
"Are you even worthy of being called an educator?!"
"Ah... y-yes, I'm sorry." Hiratsuka apologized on instinct, but as she snapped out of it, her face flushed crimson with rage.
"You! Don't use legendary Ultraman Tiga quotes to lecture me! I'm your teacher!!!"
Ryunosuke merely gazed out toward the distant horizon with a pensive, faraway look.
"We are all creatures born from the same Earth. Why must we slaughter one another? Hiratsuka-sensei—"
"Slaughter my foot! Get back to normal, now!" Hiratsuka had reached her limit. She realized that in a battle of words, she would be utterly decimated. She wanted to snap and thrash the boy then and there, but every time she moved to strike, he'd drop a nugget of wisdom that made her pause, leaving her with no room for a rebuttal.
To the side, Ayanokouji rubbed his chin, lost in deep thought.
"I see. So that's how the status works..."
He was beginning to grasp the underlying principles of Ryunosuke's Chuunibyou Mode. Wanting to test a theory, he quietly gathered three bamboo swords (shinai) and handed them to Ryunosuke.
Ryunosuke's body jolted again. His status shifted instantly. He was now wearing a green bandana, one eye clamped shut, with one bamboo sword clenched between his teeth while his hands gripped the other two. He had become Roronoa Zoro.
"Since we cannot live in peace, let us settle this here! Hiratsuka Shizuka!"
"Excellent! That's what I've been waiting for!" Hiratsuka balled her fists, grinning. Now this was more her speed.
A powerful aura of Busoshoku Haki seemed to coat the bamboo blades. Ryunosuke lunged, the floor cracking beneath his feet as he charged, muttering his technique under his breath.
"Suffering is good on the path to Carnage."
"Kiki Kyutoryu: Ashura Bakkei – Moja no Tawamure!"
Ryunosuke's entire body emitted a golden glow, as if he had literally grown three heads and six arms. He spun like a whirlwind, tearing toward Hiratsuka.
Hiratsuka's pupils contracted. Sensing a dangerous pressure, she tried to dodge, but she was too late. His speed was off the charts; she couldn't even register his movement before he had already passed her. In an instant, the teacher collapsed to the floor, clutching her stomach and groaning in pain.
There was no serious injury, however; Ryunosuke had held back. Had those been real blades, Hiratsuka would be a corpse.
Realizing this, a bead of sweat the size of a bean rolled down her forehead.
"This kid..."
Ryunosuke removed the bamboo sword from his mouth, "sheathed" it into an imaginary scabbard, and pulled off the green bandana.
"Don't worry. I used the back of the blade."
Ayanokouji desperately wanted to point out: "A bamboo sword doesn't have a sharp or blunt side..." but he'd seen enough to confirm his theory.
In this Chuunibyou Mode, through some unknown mechanism, Ryunosuke inherited a portion of the character's actual abilities—be it sword techniques or kicking styles. He even reached a master-tier proficiency. Unfortunately, his physical vessel couldn't keep up.
In short, Ryunosuke's physical stats were the bottleneck for his god-tier techniques. It was clear he didn't need more martial knowledge; he just needed to harden his body. Ayanokouji began mapping out a training regimen in his head.
Ibuki, caught up in the madness, decided she wanted a turn. Out of nowhere, she produced a straw hat she'd been hiding. Catching Ryunosuke off guard, she jammed it onto his head.
Instantly, Ryunosuke turned into a total ditz, picking his nose with his pinky finger.
"I'm hungry. I want meat."
"Hahahaha!" Ibuki lost it, rolling on the floor in hysterics. "Hahaha! This is gold! Say it! Say 'I'm gonna be the Pirate King'!"
She wiped tears from her eyes, laughing far too hard. Ryunosuke, ever the method actor, gripped the straw hat and flashed a wide, toothy grin.
"I'm the man who's gonna be the Pirate King! The Pirate King! That's a promise!"
This time, even Hiratsuka couldn't hold back, joining Ibuki in a fit of raucous laughter. A vein throbbed on Ryunosuke's forehead as he snatched the hat off and hurled it at them.
"What are you laughing at?! Is it really that fun making a joke out of me?!!!" he yelled, his mouth turning into a jagged shark-like shape.
"Haha... it really is. Sorry, sorry." Hiratsuka wheezed, wiping her eyes, though her lack of sincerity was deafening.
Ryunosuke was so annoyed he considered just packing up and ending the session right then and there.